The Imperfect Perfect Penis.


Not too long ago I wrote an article called ‘Your Ugly Vagina Is Normal & Gorgeous’ so I only thought it fair to explore some of the taboos of male genitalia—specifically the ‘size’ of penises.

I was inspired to write this piece based on a BBC documentary called ‘My Penis and Everyone Else’s’.

The size of one’s member isn’t necessarily a coffee table discussion, so how do we gauge how ‘big’ the problem is if men don’t want to talk about it?

Well, I started to do some research and my first question was—what is the average size of a penis?

The Penis Erectus Lengthus. 

According to Dr. David Delvin, for decades, medical documents and articles have stated that the erect penile length is typically about 6.5 inches (16.5 cm). However, more recent numbers share that the length of an erect penis is about 5.88 inches (14.9 cm), which is considerably less than the ‘old’ measurement.

With further investigation, I have discovered that in numerous other medical documents and research findings that the ‘range’ is more like 5 to 5.7 inches—at full attention (12.8 to 14 cm)—to which 90% of men fall into.

Please note, these figures are for varying ethnicities and adult ages.

And, well, despite popular belief, there seems to be no real correlation between a person’s height, size of hands, feet or nose with their penis girth or length.

If you’re curious—the man with the largest penis in the world, according to a variety of sources, measures out to be 13.5 inches (34.29 cm), and from what I read, in 2008, he had been single for many years, was living at home with mum and hoping to find a partner who wouldn’t find him a freak of nature.

So, who’s to blame for the miscalculations of membership sizes?

No, it’s not Ron Jeremy. It’s self-measurement. It’s just unreliable.

According to research, those who have performed the self-measurement tend to provide ‘larger’ statistics than those gauged by a physician or a professional penis measurer.

Well, enough said about that, and it’s the nose that grows longer with lies, not the penis! Ask the guy made of wood!

Another thing: ethnicity and penis size—there are all sorts of varying statistics, research, lack of research and numerous agreements and disagreements on this topic.

African men have the largest penises while Asians, the smallest, but then again Asian women have the smallest vaginas, right? Wrong.

Or at least I haven’t found any solid evidence stating that any theories regarding ethnicity and penis size are 100% true. What I have found out concerning this topic is that there are many opposing sides. So, perhaps it’s safest to trust your own experiences and do you own experimentation. Have fun.

You can also check out the The Penis Size World Map. I recommend being ‘largely’ sceptical. You’ll see why.

Have companies exploited a society-generated obsession or is size something partners demand?

“I do think pornography and the way it seeped into culture has had some effect because it’s so saturated, it’s so become a norm that people are seeing sex and their bodies through a completely distorted lens.” -Rowan Peeling, Former Editor of the Erotic Review.

Sure, the world of porn tends to attract actors with a certain size, but don’t we know that most of them aren’t ‘typical’?

Perhaps we need to remind ourselves that not every other guy is John Holmes. Not even close—not by a ‘long’ shot.

In today’s world of sex toys, vibrators and gadgets, it seems there are a lot of solutions that could appeal to a partner’s need for size, but what intrigues me more, is why someone would feel ‘bad’ about their penis size.

I can’t help but wonder how much of our opinions are actually ‘real’ versus what has been implanted into our brains and low self-esteem by the media, companies and even doctors looking to make a profit.

What do you think?

Despite the pills, crèmes, pumps, weights and exercises out there, there is nothing proven to lengthen the size of a penis other than surgery.

Penis enlargement surgery—go, go Gadget penis extender.

I read that the majority of men who have penis enlargement surgery aren’t satisfied with the results (one man in the BBC documentary had the surgery four times and was still unhappy).

Studies also show that the surgery may add a half an inch to the length of the flaccid penis while not adding any length to the erect penis.

According to the Mayo Clinic, most men who want the surgery are within a normal penis length range. In addition, studies prove that even men with micro-penises—medically defined as a penis less than three inches when erect—are completely capable of enjoying a fulfilling sex life and having children.

According to the American Urolological Association the techniques and procedures used in penile enlargement surgery have not been proven through research studies to be completely effective or even safe. The long-term side effects are unknown.

The price of the surgery ranges between 3,000 USD and 10,000 USD.

Alternatively, one could also consider getting physically fit, doing a bit of pubic maintenance and getting rid of the ol’ beer belly. A counsellor and/or some self-acceptance practice could also do the trick.

What do women really want (and expect)?

Here’s a little survey I did with 10 random females ages 25-45:

1. I don’t care if my partner has a small penis. I’d be more worried about a large penis—and, it’s more about how they work it and how they make me feel.


2. I have been with men with what you’d say a ‘smaller’ situation and they were better in bed than men with larger ‘situations’.


3. Do you mean as it pertains to a relationship or to just having sex? I feel that the answer could be yes it can matter, if it has just to do with sex.


4. If someone wanted to spend their life with someone, I think the size of their penis would be one of the least important things to consider.


5. It’s quality over quantity my friend.


6. If a guy washes himself and keeps it clean, I don’t care.


7. I tend to prefer tongue techniques to penis techniques.


8. If a guy is passionate, I don’t care about the size of a penis.


9. We could always use toys.


10. I think if two people can feel OK with their bodies, there’s a lot of creative and fun things that could happen despite the size of any body part.

So, does size really matter?

At the end of the day, I don’t believe anyone should answer this question. We do enough damage judging each other with unrealistic sets of beauty standards set by the superficial, synthetic beauty world that we all in one way or another seem to be addicted to.

Think about it, if these sources told you that you were perfect, they’d be left with nothing to do (and without a lot of your money).

Penises come in many ranges, sizes, bends, lengths, colours, wrinkles—and they’re all normal.

There is a hell of a lot more that goes into a person than the size of their anything. Instead of reaching a level of perfection set by anyone else, let’s gauge perfection by what we have.



Read more: 

>> Your ugly vagina is normal & gorgeous.



{We heart your twig and berries just as they are.}




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Tanya Lee Markul
Co-Founder and Chief Editor of Rebelle Society (you are here). She’s convinced that she once swam the depths of the deepest ocean and in the next round, grew over two hundred feet tall. In this life, she’s a vulnerable creation in process. She has a Bachelor of Science in Journalism & a Master’s in Business. In 2009, surrendering to the good fight within, she became a certified teacher of yoga. Now a full-time devoted student to the sacred art of self-discovery and creative expression, she spends her days on her yoga mat, in wellness experimentation and tilling the fertile soil of Rebelle Society, sharing bouts of black sheepish rebellion, self-acceptance and the beauty of darkness and well-being. Tanya is the creator of and She is also the co-founder and Wellness Alchemist at Rebelle Wellness. Get to know her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and at Sign-up for her free, weekly Newsie and contact her via email:


  • Tet Gallardo commented on September 25, 2012 Reply
    and some even prefer no penis… it’s significance has been overstated over patriarchal history, like it’s something — maybe among males competing, I would understand.
  • Scott Lepthien commented on September 25, 2012 Reply
    This has been taboo for men to talk about with men on a serious level. But I have had this discussion with some men who are aware and wanting to discard old fears that society has promoted. The number of men who have the same fears to some degree or another seems to be almost universal until we expose them and release them. There are other fears besides not being the right size. The basis of this discussion was to better be able to communicate these things with our partners. In turn we believe that this will create a more holistic and loving relationship. Size is only one of the fears guys often silently deal with. The exposure of these thing helps get rid of them. Thank you for bringing this subject up.
  • Richard La Rosa
    Richard La Rosa commented on September 25, 2012 Reply
    Ah, the puzzling preoccupation with proper penis size. Would you like the perspective of a member of the opposite genital? I’ll get to that in a moment. First off, I read your article twice, Tanya, and it took a third glance at the title before I actually saw the word “perfect” sandwiched betwixt “imperfect” and “penis.” That’s right — old patterns of insecurity about my own penis made the word “perfect” invisible. It was in the blind spot of the peripheral vision in my mind’s eye. “What a wonderful opportunity for psychological introspection,” my penis piped up from it’s place in my pants. Such a sarcastic dick, but it’s right. A woman can ignore her vagina monologues but, when a penis speaks, a man should pay attention. As tempted as I am to launch my reflective canoe into the electrochemical stream of my optic nerves and paddle it toward some neurological conclusion about why I didn’t see the word “perfect,” (like some meanderthal that hasn’t the sense to make way for a more evolved sapient that knows how to stick to the point) I will step aside and let my dick tell it like it is. Take it away, Samson. “Thank you, Richard. I’m impressed that you needed only two paragraphs of preamble in your attempt to impress the readers with your literary prowess. No, no, I’m not being sarcastic. Your cerebral aside is the perfect set-up. Here goes… “Listen up, men: Being a dick is about FEELING not THINKING. Having a penis is your chance to get out of your BIG head once and awhile (hopefully, enough times to satisfy you) and give your LITTLE head a chance to give you warm, wet and happy sensations for your entire body. I don’t give a shit about my size (I leave the shit-giving to the asshole that lives behind me). The thing about size for most of us dicks is — it changes. At rest, tucked away and dormant, I’m a manageable few inches in length. Sometimes, I’m even smaller. And that’s a very good thing for the comfort of the rest of the body. I stay out of the way when the body needs to sit down, just chilling out on the bean-bag cushion that you call balls. But, when I’m ready for action I swell to almost three times my resting size. Is it enough? Is it too much? Irrelevant. What truly matters is the feeling that comes with spelunking in new and familiar caves…the long, slow build-up of pressure, and the release — the letting go — that follows. But, I’m no Anaïs Nin — I’m not here to write erotica. It comes down to this: The size issue is not an issue. The problem here is that the wrong organ (your head, dummy) is cock-blocking your chance to feel really fucking good. Forget about size. Let go and enjoy the ride.” Well put, proud penis. How can I argue with that?
    • Tanya Lee Markul
      tanya lee markul commented on September 25, 2012 Reply
      Richard – you already know how I feel about your reply. :-) Thank you a million times over. You made my day. :-)
      • Richard La Rosa
        Richard commented on December 3, 2012 Reply
        Happy to be of service. But, I’m confused by the first photo in the piece. Why does that hunky man have a camel toe? So wrong and so confusing.
    • Tracy commented on December 2, 2012 Reply
      ROTFL! Yet, perfectly put. That’s you’ve a smart “little head” you’ve got there, Mister!
      • Richard La Rosa
        Richard commented on December 3, 2012 Reply
    • Manny commented on March 14, 2014 Reply
      You seem to be only talking about how your penis makes u feel. What about how it makes the women feel? It’s human nature and and by consequence that bigger is better. A big dick is every girls icing on the cake. It doesn’t matter if you’re the best guy in the world, if your junk is small then that ultimately negates everything. It’s a harsh reality us smaller ones are literally lesser of men to women. They can’t help it, size ends up being the the most important aspect in a man. No matter how confident and kind we are. Once we whip it out we end up being an instant disappointment. We can have no chance with women because they will always desire the bigger one. Those who settle will always miss that bigger dick of their x boyfriends and they secretly wish we were bigger. Women are shallow like that and they think we’re shallow. Maybe not all women are like that but there seems to be a vast majority who are. Especially the prettier they are. They usually have lots of experience and they are more than likely to have lots of big dick therefore they just can’t be satisfied with anything dramatically less. Average and less is simply not desirable. I know this through experience and it sucks. In the end and overall, size is the most important aspect in a man’s life. It either makes us or breaks us and it’s done nothing but break me.
      • annabis commented on January 11, 2015 Reply
        He’s right
    • Anjana Love-Dixon
      Anjana Love-Dixon commented on April 29, 2014 Reply
      THIS reply.
  • Tanya Lee Markul
    tanya lee markul commented on September 25, 2012 Reply
    Scott – thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I could not agree more with you! I’d love to discuss some of the other silent fears men face – perhaps inspiration for another article.
  • Kellie commented on September 25, 2012 Reply
    I must say, Interesting if nothing more, I believe this men that started this misconception of membership size, after all haven’t we all heard those fish stories, by the end of the day the 6 inch fish was a whale! I love my man and his fish story!
  • Andrea Balt
    Andrea Balt commented on September 27, 2012 Reply
    This had me glued to the screen from beginning to end. Thanks for being so brave to address our taboos & silent insecurities. Rebelle Hug.
  • Suresh Nair commented on December 2, 2012 Reply
    I’ve read in tantra articles that compatibility between the ‘lingam’ and the ‘yoni’ matters most, and that this compatibility becomes stronger with time and practice. apparently women have a ‘sacred spot’ (thought to be a nerve plexus) which when stimulated by the head of the penis during lovemaking gives rise to feelings of deep bliss and satisfaction on both sides. the problem with the entire discussion of penis size is that it leaves out the most important functional question – is it doing its job, both for the man AND the woman?
  • liza commented on December 2, 2012 Reply
    good job
  • Tracy commented on December 2, 2012 Reply
    Fabulous piece!
  • Aparna Khanolkar
    aparna commented on December 29, 2012 Reply
    Great article! Thorough!
  • no 1 special commented on January 19, 2013 Reply
    women trash guys on their size ad nauseum and then play the men judge women card…to justify the fact that they just sexually degraded a man.No wonder there are so many angry,violent,depressed dudes in america..women act as though since you have been mistreated in the past that you have this ace card to try and smear men at will wh whenever you feel angered by us for whatever reason.Stop being hypocrites and turn off the damn porno ladies–if anything i see most of the judgements,rips and smear campaigns coming from the female side these days.
    • Danny P commented on February 9, 2013 Reply
      Maybe that’s just because you’re insecure.
  • JD Ember commented on January 25, 2013 Reply
    Of course it matters, to a certain extent. There has been statistics done on this. The “larger” penis is attractive to women because of aesthetics just like men like big tits. Functionally, the majority of men suit a women’s needs. There are men that are too small and too big for Women.
  • Montique Stephon commented on February 8, 2013 Reply
    Would love a review of a company looking to promote technical skill in relating with the intention of helping men to love their bodies through allowing them to see the benefits of they’re individuality.
  • lynnpaterson commented on February 8, 2013 Reply
    I’ve been giving tantra massage which includes genitals also for over 5 yrs and I can say that the average size is 5-5.5 inches in the UK and Ireland region. I’ve worked with some middle-aged men who were so convinced their penis was too small that they never got up the courage to get a girlfriend, never mind make love. Obviously there are other factors which are beneath these issues, but it does bring a lot of transformation to help someone understand their thinking is inaccurate and that they are perfectly within normal range. A lot of men, like a lot of women, simply don’t know what the other sex likes and wants and have projected their own insecurities onto the other gender which frankly, are just not true in most cases. Thank you so much for such a great article – I will share it as it will be very helpful for clients.
  • Shawn Kayla Moore commented on February 8, 2013 Reply
    Wow, this was a very interesting article… I’m not sure how I feel about some of it though. But, I don’t plan on looking at that many penises to find out either. LOL
  • Geoff commented on February 16, 2013 Reply
    They refuse to use average sized dudes (5-6)in porn but will give obese/and or overweight women their own genres.WTF? Some of the biggest stars have been flat chested (sasha grey etc..) As a result alotof women are socially engineered to think bigger is better and by proxy avg guys or smaller then avg guys are devalued,maligned and end up feeling undesired,worthless and pften times turn to drugs,crime violence or off themselves.So i agree and its sad that no one cares about men and think we are so privileged and well off when its just NOT the case.When was the last time you heard a woman (any woman) say she prefered a guy w/ a five inch wang?? I rest my case:(
    • tantraman commented on March 20, 2013 Reply
      Geoff I think the reason you and others may never hear a woman say she prefers a guy with a 5 inch wang, is because I believe many women are more wanting to expereince a man who is a skillful lover. I have been with a few women who have experienced larger than average penises who had never experienced vaginal and cervical orgasms or ejaculation through penetration of a penis, in my experience women prefer a man who can take them into such deep pleasure in lovemaking, and the average sized penis is easily adequate.
  • Jeremy commented on July 23, 2013 Reply
    Well… this article was very thought provoking… I’m pretty young myself (22), but even while many others my age are out going at it, I have remained (almost) consistently abstinent. I say almost since I’ve had one sexual experience in my life with an ex-lover. I was inexperienced, and she was not, so I was fairly unsure about myself, but regardless, I did everything in my power to make sure my partner felt good. Unfortunately, though I succeeded in pleasuring her… I myself was unable to climax, even after subsequent attempts. I’m not sure if it was nerves, or if something was wrong with my body, but in the end I believe I ended up hurting her because of the issue, and our relationship failed. Granted, the relationship was long distance most of the times, and that placed a strain on it, I believe I was mostly to blame due to my inexperience and inconfidence. I have to say, ever since then, I have not sought or even considered getting into another relationship with a woman… even shying away from potential friendships… It’s not that I’ve lost interest, but my reservation has come from my inadequacies. On top of that, I’ve never been confident in my penis size (length or breadth), and for all I know, that may be the origin of my predicament. It’s just daunting to me to think about having another sexual relationship, especially with all of this hype about the “value of having a large penis”. But I did learn one thing from that previous relationship, that women care just as much about how well they please the man, as they care about the man pleasing them.
  • Manny commented on March 12, 2014 Reply
    Thanks for your article but it didn’t make me feel any better. I know size matters to most women. The bigger the better. To many women size matters more than anything. There’s women out there who would rather have a jerk with a big penis than a good man with a small one. It’s true, I’ve seen girls hung up on large penis. I was cheated on by my ex wife. I wanted her back and she wouldn’t and I ask one day, what is he bigger than me and she slightly smiled as if he was so much bigger and better than me. It’s just razors for us less fortunate to swallow. Just like it’s true that blacks have the biggest ones. I’ve literally searched the internet to see if I could find small black penises and couldn’t find one. They were all still bigger than me. That really causes issues with me and in porn ha they got the biggest and the girls love them the most. It’s a terrible fact, I will never be able to fill up a girl with pleasure like someone bigger than me. I’m sorry I just can’t lie to myself. Most women prefer size over everything. Women secretly wish we were bigger, like one of their bigger ex boy friends. My girlfriend never wants my penis. I feel she doesn’t like it and I’m not big enough. I really feel that if my penis was bigger, it would be more desirable. It sucks feeling this way and it’s hard to shake. I’ve done my own search and got even more discouraged. All I can say is I’m glad my penis works and that it’s not smaller. So much for man being equal. That saying is wretchedly true, once u go black you don’t go back. My penis insecurities is literally one of the things that make me want to die. Thank you god for the huge spectrum of penis size. I have felt embarrassed and inadequate due to my size all my life. It has effected my confidence in every way. I almost feel hopeless. I hate it and there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is hope to find someone who will truly want me as I am and not leave me for someone bigger. It’s so hard to be confident especially with women. You can be the coolest person in the world but if u got a small penis the girls will always be longing for a bigger one. Girls love and long for bigger penises. It’s so hard to believe that’s not the case. It’s so hard to believe your survey. It just seems fake. It seems like your just trying to be nice to us to make us feel better. I know women want it bigger. I’m sure there are a lot more complaints about the small ones than the big ones. Please someone tell me different. Help
    • Beej commented on September 27, 2014 Reply
      All you need is fingers. You have fingers, I hope. Stop worrying about it. Everyone has different preferences. I’m a female and I don’t care about size. I just want your fingers anyway. And tongues do nothing for me as well. We’re all different. We all have different preferences for what makes us feel good. Try not to worry about the size of your penis. And in the end, if it’s love, your penis Wil have nothing to do with it.
  • Manny commented on March 12, 2014 Reply
    Thanks for trying to make us feel better. It’s evident that size matters most to most women. Most women would rather have an asshole with a big dick than a good handsome man with a small one. Face it we’re fucked. All women desire a big dick and women secretly wish there partner was bigger. They will always be dissatisfied once they get a big dick. Most women are cruel and we with smaller dicks are just jokes to them. They will always miss that nice huge cock and we will be forever inferior. Thanks god for making small insignificant penises. Having a smaller penis has effected my confidence in every way for my entire life. I feel embarrassed and inadequate and I can’t shack it. My girlfriend has no desire for my penis, she doesn’t like it, it’s not big enough I guess. It fucking sucks. It’s a curse. Women crave bigger dick they can’t help it and we’re just inadequate fucks. It doesn’t matter the motion, we’ll never be able to fill them up with our little junk. But thanks for trying. But I’m sure a man with a big dick is every girls icing on the cake. My penis size controls my life and I don’t know what to do. I hate my size and no body else has cared for it either. I feel unattractive, inadequate and worthless sexually. I’m scared to approach women because I know they’ve been with people bigger than me. I know it matters. Girls go after the tough guy assholes with big dicks, they don’t want nice guys with small ones. It’s just a wretched fact that we have to swallow. It’s not fair, all horses and bulls have giant penises why couldn’t all humans be a similar size. Penis size ultimately makes or breaks us. It’s not like breast size. Girls always go crazy for the big ones. As for me I’ve never made a women go crazy with my penis. It’s just proof on how inadequate I am and my girl friend is proof. She never desires it but if it were bigger she’d be addicted to it. Tell me different Idk it’s so hard to believe other wise.
  • Philip Bond commented on March 13, 2014 Reply
  • Frank Torchio commented on March 29, 2014 Reply
    A woman once told me that guys with big dicks are just big dicks. It is a hang up that just guys seem to have. It is connected with other things that are supposed to make up a ‘big’ man; bigger houses, bigger car, bigger muscles and bigger bank accounts. Ultimately these are just frivolous things and the quality of the man is what matters. A bigger penis does not equate with a better lover. Look at it from the man’s point of view with respect to sexual satisfaction. No matter what the size, any man can have a satisfactory orgasm. From the woman’s view only the first four inches really matter and by that standard just about any penis will do. Even if size were a factor, there are other ways that a man can be a great lover such as oral or digital manipulation. Penis size is such a non-issue it should be put to rest permanently. It was once said that a lie will be believed if it is repeated often enough. This is one lie that should be put to rest permanently.
  • Anjana Love-Dixon
    Anjana Love-Dixon commented on April 29, 2014 Reply
    I love this article. It seems that men lean on their large penises to do all the work for them, while the men who search in the dark find the treasure.
  • Jim the PhD commented on August 9, 2014 Reply
    We men spend so much time obsessing about things like penis size that we neglect the really important things – like the health of our members. Men can simply use a top notch penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) as an easy way to keep their tools healthy.
  • Richard Thicke commented on April 28, 2015 Reply
    Honestly guys, relax. Stop worrying about the size of ur wang and just enjoy how awesome it is to be with a warm woman. Be confident, have fun and give her the best u can and 9 times outta 10 she’ll love u for it. This has always been my attitude and women have always enjoyed my company immensely, both in and out of bed.

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