In a creative attempt to get Tom Hanks to appear as a guest on the Nerdist Podcast, comedian Chris Hardwick tried to bribe him with a depression-era rare portable typewriter—a 1934 Smith Corona.
A typewriter collector, Tom Hanks couldn’t resist answering Chris in a letter produced on the same Corona:
Dear Chris, Ashley, and all the diabolical genuies at Nerdist Industries.
Just who do you think you are to try to briibe me into an appearance on your ’thing’ with this gift of the most fantastic Cornona Silent typewriter made in 1934?
You are out of your minds if you think… that I… wow, this thing has great action… and this deep crimson color… Wait! I’m not so shallow as to… and it types nearly silently…
I will have my people contact yours and work out some kind of interview process…
Damn you all to hell,
‘Cause what would one not do for a vintage typewriter?
And what terrible, immediate extinction must await the man who can’t or won’t type like the ancients…
You might also enjoy this equally chewable correspondence:
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