21 Love Lessons They Didn’t Teach You in School.

 AudreyHepburn_MelFerrer

Don’t you sometimes wish you had a pocket guide to love, something to walk you through all the dos and the don’ts before you do or don’t do them, a sort of manual to fall back on when in doubt, something or someone showing you the way?

Why don’t they teach us Love in school?

If we came into existence out of love, and if we can’t live without love, and if through life we keep running, bumping, crashing into love, time after time, then how is it not one of the most essential courses we should be required to take while growing up? Not even an elective?

If it is true that love must be lived in order to be understood, it is also true that it must be learned, in order to be truly lived. Anything worth our while, is worth at least our wisdom. But by the time our wisdom kicks in, we’ll be too old to burn, so why not learn while we’re still on fire?

There is a multitude of bright minds and big hearts who’ve tasted love before us and whom we can safely adopt as our mentors—you can always choose dead masters if you don’t trust the living.

Love is the most democratic feeling. We all have a say and every sigh adds up. It’s the old, universal language everyone speaks, no matter their dialect or accent.

So hear me out, yo Loving Human: Let’s co-create a Love Manual that contains all our collected love wisdom, so we can pass it on to future generations saying: Here child, add this to your beating heart.

Who knows, maybe it will prevent some tears or some wars, fight some crime or some loneliness, add some extra honey to their boiling tea, remind them (and ourselves) the lessons we were all born knowing.

 

Love

 

Here are 21 essentials I’ve picked up along the way: 
“Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, you owe me. Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.” ~ Hafez 

***

“Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to.” ~ Unknown

***

“We were together. I forget the rest.” ~ Walt Whitman

***

“I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart. I am trying to bribe you with uncertainty, with danger, with defeat.” ~ Jorge Luis Borges

***

“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”
~ Francis Scott Fitzgerald

***

“Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star.” ~ e.e. cummings

***

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu

***

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.  A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

***

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love.” ~ Dr. Seuss

***

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
~ C.S. Lewis

***

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” ~ Paulo Coelho

***

“Real love is never perplexed, never qualifies, never rejects, never demands. It replenishes, by grace of restoring unlimited circulation. It burns, because it knows the true meaning of sacrifice. It is life illuminated.” ~ Henry Miller

***

“Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now, and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest, and making someone fall in love with you is easy, and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.”
~ Harvey Milk

***

“Please let us not interfere with the other’s work or play, nor let the world see our private joys or disagreements. In this connection I may have to keep some place where I can go to be myself, now and then, for I cannot guarantee to endure at all times the confinements of even an attractive cage.” ~ Amelia Earhart

***

 “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon

***

“For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

***

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” ~ Kahlil Gibran 

***

“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.” ~ Anaïs Nin

***

“I love you without knowing how or when or from where. 
I love you straightfowardly, without complexities or pride: 
So I love you because I know no other way than this: 
Where I do not exist nor you, 
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.”
~ Pablo Neruda

***

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.” ~ Viktor Frankl

***

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 (Bible)

So tell us, how do you spell Love in your dictionary? How do you not?

What would you tell your children? And yourself?

Add your drop to this ocean. ‘Cause “what is an ocean but a multitude of drops“?

 

 *****

{te quiero}

 

 

*Sign up for my Museletter – FREE creative resources, soulful life tips and game-changing inspiration. 

(Visited 642 times, 24 visits today)
The following two tabs change content below.
Andrea Balt
Co-Founder/Editor-in-Chief of Rebelle Society, Wellness Alchemist at Rebelle Wellness & Professional Dream Chaser at Creative Rehab. Unfinished book with a love for greens, bikes and poetry; raised by wolves & adopted by people; not trying to make art but to Be Art. Holds a BA in Journalism & Mass Communication, an MFA in Creative Writing & a Holistic Health Coach degree from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition®. In her work she tries to reflect the wholeness of the human experience by combining Art & Health + Mind & Body + Darkness & Brilliance into a more alive, unabridged and unlimited edition of ourselves. She is also on a quest to reinstate Creativity as one of our essential Human Rights to (hopefully and soon) be included in the UN Declaration. Connect with her in the Social Media Jungle via Facebook, Twitter & Instagram and sign up for her FREE MuseLetter.

49 Comments

  • madgroove commented on April 12, 2013 Reply
    And I LOVE YOU for writing this, precious girl <3 I've learned more from love than I could've ever imagined, and still I offer myself unto it completely. It is master to all else, and to be seperate from it. even for a moment, is to fade into my shadow of shame and untruth.
  • Cassandra Alls
    Cassandra Alls commented on April 12, 2013 Reply
    I love this so so so much Andrea. Thank you! xxoo
  • Tanya Lee Markul
    tanya lee markul commented on April 14, 2013 Reply
    Mmmm – gorgeousnesses! Let’s start teaching love right NOW. xoxo
  • Francesco Emmanuel commented on April 14, 2013 Reply
    This is brilliant. Thank you.
  • Jeanette LeBlanc commented on April 15, 2013 Reply
    oh….that milk quote. yes. and that, right there, is the story for our skype/wine date – if it ever happens.
  • laupot commented on May 19, 2013 Reply
    What great writing! Keep it up & love the section on ‘soul-mate’ – sooooooooooooo true…!!!
  • igorvlacic commented on May 19, 2013 Reply
    Very nice blog. But yet… Love is to be demonstrated… My line for understanding today’s language: “Your love is priceless… But I can afford it.” ;)
  • sumdumgui commented on May 27, 2013 Reply
    To love is to live in love, every thought, action, and breath is taken with love; it is the very beating of your heart saying to the universe, “Yes, I am here, and ready, and willing…”
  • harnadh commented on June 24, 2013 Reply
    Andrea. I thank you for this and for many more to come. May LOVE always envelop your moments.
  • Todd Clark commented on June 24, 2013 Reply
    “She was the music at the edge of my silence.”- Raymond Chandler. “I’d Gladly Give My Heart to You/ But the Rest Belongs to Me.”- Waylon Jennings. Two of the wise men of our times.
  • 7semantics commented on June 26, 2013 Reply
    You inspire me at just the right times. So well done. You should post a little clip at the end of your articles… like where all your “likes” & comments are an applause & you take a bow on the cyber stage. Thanks you. :)
  • Andrea Balt
    Andrea Balt commented on July 21, 2013 Reply
    Thanks so much for the feedback. Love is contagious. (and terminal)
    • L. commented on March 26, 2015 Reply
      The “go after her” quote… It’s how the man I loved for 8 years sees love. But after all I wish I was more of a team mate and less of a prize to conquer. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do “for me”, nobody he wouldn’t stomp over in his way towards me. I feel wanted, needed, but not loved.
  • Pat Cambri commented on August 15, 2013 Reply
    Love…is just a better way!
  • bbbetty commented on August 15, 2013 Reply
    Given up on it after too many bad endings. Love, is the allusion that another person can make you happy and fulfill your dreams. It eventually falls short because we are human and, after a while familiarity breeds contempt and boredom. We desperately try to relight the spark of the beginning. And years go by and years.
    • Melanie Hart commented on December 30, 2014 Reply
      I agree. Some pain runs so deep there’s no way to repair the damage.
  • Melissa Mirabai Zeligman commented on August 15, 2013 Reply
    At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.| Plato
  • Lorra Fae commented on August 15, 2013 Reply
    What I have learned of love – there is always more of it – tons of it – give it freely. And to the very special, show it as much as possible, never take them for granted, make them feel loved as often as possible. And yes, the cliche of “love yourself first” is so ridiculously true, it’s insane.
  • SR Atchley
    SR Atchley commented on August 19, 2013 Reply
    Beautiful. Truly, truly beautiful thoughts, words and lovesongs. Thank you, Professor.
  • Liza Baritt commented on September 7, 2013 Reply
    Hand went spontaneously to heart when I read this . And the Fitzgeralds get me every time. Just Beautiful.
  • Tae commented on September 7, 2013 Reply
    You made me cry. Thank you. I have mostly given up on love. But perhaps it is time to open that door in my heart once more.
  • liz commented on September 7, 2013 Reply
    I do not truly understand what love is for one person. I have love of life, love for the grandness of the universe, deep freindships, but is love for one person, a true thing? I do not yet know.
    • liz commented on November 9, 2013 Reply
      exactly. I have still to figure out what it really means, love for one person. this romanticizing of one person…
  • Andrew Kippen commented on September 7, 2013 Reply
    If someone had simply sat down with me at 14 and said, “You’re going to meet someone and this person is going to make you completely crazy. You will want to know everything about them. You will want to spend every waking moment together. You will experience things with them that you’ve never experienced before. And all of that will happen in the first 24 hours. It’s not love, but it’s love’s seed. It’s up to the two of you to nurture it and watch it grow.” I would have really appreciated it. There’s a lot of people out there who need to learn how to love. For those who have known all along, we might just need a manual for how to control it…
  • dancingpurpleelephants commented on October 24, 2013 Reply
    Love is. That is all. While we try to define it with our words and our pictures and any other symbol we can possibly create, it remains undefinable. But these are perhaps the best futile attempts at defining the undefinable I have ever encountered. Thank you very much for sharing.
    • Blueocean commented on August 11, 2014 Reply
      You took the words out of my mouth. Love just is. To be with my love is just to be. And it is beautiful and precious and wholly indescribable.
  • Hannah commented on November 14, 2013 Reply
    I went to university to get a degree in love, but they had no idea how to handle it and gave me a selection of loosely related papers Philosophy and Human Development… I dropped out because I decided I can teach love by loving. Loving boldly and everyone as well as I can. However, I know a wizard (true) and he is opening a space to teach love and we are involved in that so… soon my fellow lovers… soon our children will know love like this :)
  • Myrna De Jesus commented on November 23, 2013 Reply
    Man, do you love loving her? I don’t mean just having sex with her, which is a very beautiful thing, but do you enjoy just loving her? Do you enjoy just having breakfast with her? Do you enjoy just being alone with her? Do you enjoy waking up in the morning and putting your arms around her, and how blessed you are to have her there beside you? Do you love loving her? Well, I don’t want to put any futuristic concepts in your head. I’m not trying to make you love like that, I’m just telling you what love is. The human race doesn’t love like that but the individual can. The human race doesn’t because there’s too many distractions, too many other loves. Like your four-wheel drives or your new car. Or surfing. Or going to the pub at night, having a sing-along. So many other things to love! And finally, when you’re going to love the principle of God, which is the principle of Woman and Man, all the distractions disappear: you just love loving, that’s all. And you can’t possess it: it is your life, to love. Barry Long
  • Antoinette Kunda commented on November 23, 2013 Reply
    I would love to have been in that class as well Andrew! I would still be carrying the manual today! Then advanced courses on taking it to all the levels I am currently stumbling through
  • vincehay commented on November 24, 2013 Reply
    Harvey Milk….wow.
  • Griselda commented on November 24, 2013 Reply
    I really thought these would be lessons but instead they were 21 love quotes.
  • Sierra commented on November 25, 2013 Reply
    Approach every new relationship, and even potential relationship, with a full, open, unconditional heart. Yes, you may end up with a broken heart, maybe several, but one day, that same full, open, unconditional love will be returned to you. It’s the Law of Attraction, you get back what you put out there.
  • Melissa commented on December 3, 2013 Reply
    This is fantastic and I love it! Thank you. xoxoxox
  • Nellia commented on December 5, 2013 Reply
    Thank you for the idea to leave the “LOVE” manual! Love it. I found quite a few authors i love, Neruda, Coelho, Tzu, Cummings..Your writing, inspiring and whole hearted as usual. Much love back to you and your talent.
  • Rajat Mishra commented on December 12, 2013 Reply
    I am spellbound!
  • LVK commented on December 13, 2013 Reply
    this is so magnificently true and insightful. Complete and compelling, freeing and nurturing. Thank you so so much. You are truly blessed, and now so am I.
  • Ali Arsalan Pasha commented on January 3, 2014 Reply
    This is exceptional… I love how you’ve collected such wonderful sentiments into a whole. For me… to love, is to be alive. And to hear your heart beating, in another’s soul. Harvey Milk’s words are the truest if you ask me… the lover’s horizon in boundless.. One must learn to love oneself. Who they are, what they are… only then can they love another. Love is neither pity nor generosity… it is actuation.. acknowledgement… it is surrender and violence.
  • person commented on January 4, 2014 Reply
    Not Harvey Milk. Helena Kvarnstrom.
  • Whit Hosein commented on February 25, 2014 Reply
    You make me absolutely, relentlessly mad; I have lost my mind I care not to ever seek it again. You sweeten the agony, brighten the despair that would otherwise be shameful chagrin. You turn my stomach in the best direction possible, all flavors lose their palatability in light of the taste you leave upon my lips, you are ultraviolet to my photosynthesis, you are the direction of my tropism. You might have to look some of these terms up, but it is not your intelligence that draws me, but your essence, your radiance, your purity of being. You speed my controlled heart rate, you are the entering thought that I care to entertain. I would tear my hair and skin, body limb from limb to keep you warm, even if the source of the cold is for want of another. (written by me in the early hours of today)
    • Andrea Balt
      Andrea Balt commented on June 1, 2014 Reply
      Wow… This is beautiful! #speechless…
  • Rita commented on April 19, 2014 Reply
    “I don´t think of love as the answer or the solution. I think of love as a force of nature, as strong as the sun, as necesary, as impersonal, as gigantic, as imposible, as scorching as it is warming, as drought-making as it is life-giving. And when it burns out the planet dies.” – Jeannette Winterson, Lighthouse keeping –
  • danamdamara commented on April 24, 2014 Reply
    i love this dear. xo
  • Hanan commented on August 11, 2014 Reply
    Love is an endless mystery, because there is no reasonable cause that could explain it.
  • Demi commented on August 28, 2014 Reply
    Find me. I am here.
  • Anandi commented on January 8, 2015 Reply
    You tore my heart and soul open once again. Yes. And yes. And yes.
  • Lavonn commented on February 2, 2015 Reply
    Holy cosnice data batman. Lol!
  • cheap insurance commented on March 16, 2015 Reply
    Stay with this guys, you’re helping a lot of people.
  • auto insurance commented on March 18, 2015 Reply
    If you’re looking to buy these articles make it way easier.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>