Can I have a baby and still achieve my dreams?
Photo courtesy Cassandra Alls.
This interview features the gorgeous, dynamically creative and sensuous rebelle, Cassandra Alls.
What has to give?
Want children but afraid of losing your niche? Already got them but struggling to find a balance between your art, your craft and your younglings? The good news is, it’s all possible. There are guilt-free ingredients for pursuing and keeping your talents intact without having to give up or give in to anything less than your heart’s deepest desires.
I’m excited to share this series of inspiring earth mothers sweetly offering a taste of their personal experience and wisdom with the Rebelle audience. All of these women have discovered a wonderful balance and have created, written and danced a beautiful duet between raising a family and continuing their journey toward Dream Central.
Children or no children, their experiences are indeed inspiring — all offering a piece of life’s beauty for our viewing and reading pleasure.
Please share your experience in the comments.
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#1 How has having children impacted your career/career ambitions?
Cassandra: I had a vision of myself as a superwoman in my contemporary black pant suit, Michael Kors heels and designer baby bag on my shoulder; a nurturing mommy while kicking ass and taking names. That soon changed once a little human was growing inside me. I held an 11-year career with a well-known, high-end retailer. I worked in several states and traveled all over. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I was able to transfer back to my home state to be closer to family. I had all intentions of going back to work after maternity leave, but something inside me was hesitant and not just my daughter.
The company was reorganizing positions and I was asked to move again across country while on maternity leave. I had my answer in the pit of my stomach.
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#2 Have you had to change/alter your career path after children? In what ways?
Cassandra: In less than 24 hours life was altered yet again. I was tossing in the heels, the designer duds and the vision of the superwoman I thought I would be but realized that I was transforming into another. Everything changed. I had a huge identity crisis after leaving my career and becoming a mom. I took some time to filter through all the thoughts and ideas that had developed in my mind of who I thought I was. It was important to me to be with my kids and a new career emerged as a loving advocate and caregiver for these precious creatures and more.
During this time it ignited other passions of mine that have now become my new career. As a mother you want your children to be safe, happy and healthy. I had been evolving to a healthier more conscious way of living after discovering a mass in my breast and a miscarriage. When my daughter arrived that fueled my passion to help clean up and heal the planet and everyone in it for them and future generations.
My new career as super mom and Holistic DIVA was born.
I went back to school and took classes on Holistic Nutrition, Herbal Medicine and Homeopathy. I also became a Reiki practitioner and I am in the process of expanding the Holistic DIVA network to connect and serve the natural and conscious living community.
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#3 What advice would you offer ambitious women who want to maintain their craft/career/art and also have children?
Cassandra: Be true to yourself and your needs and desires. Yes, there is this overwhelming instinct to do everything you can for your children and your family, but do not lose yourself in it. There are those other parts of you that need to live, create and connect. Whether you go back to work outside of the home or stay home with your children listen to your heart and make sure it is serving everyone well. If there is any uneasy feeling, listen to it. If it feels right, then bravo, you are on the right track.
In my opinion and experience, you must take time for yourself, however that works for you. Find your tribe, your family, your friends, your support system to do what you need to do to be true to yourself and foster your passions. Yes, being a mother is one of them, but you have other fires to tend to. Schedule time to do the things that you love. It may not be as frequent, but do them.
Photo courtesy Cassandra Alls.
#4 What mechanisms/skills have you devised for times of feeling overwhelmed, low energy even a little depressed?
Cassandra: Great timing with this question! When I feel this way it’s and indication for me to slow down I tend to want to do too much and all at once. I have a to-do list a mile long, I’m an expert multi-tasker and place high expectations of myself. That just sounds exhausting. In my old house I had a sign in my kitchen, “Chill Out” as a reminder that everything is okay, everything will be okay and that ridiculous list I created will be there tomorrow. Now, I am more conscious about prioritizing and focusing on 1-2 things that really need to get done in a day and the rest are just gentle reminders, for when my mommy brain is tired.
I sit. I breathe. I look around and see that it’s all good. No matter what is happening. The kids are running, screaming, the dog is barking, I just picked up the trash bag and there was a hole in the bottom, the kitchen buzzer is going off because my gourmet vegan dish is ready and there is a wasp flying around the kitchen. It’s all good. I just breathe, take a moment, laugh or cry, then laugh again and carry on. I focus on all the good that surrounds me, I focus on gratitude, and dig out my sense of humor and brew myself some chai.
I have also learned to be kinder to myself, to ask for help when I need it.
I am so used to doing everything for myself, I forget that there are so many people in my life that will help me at the drop of a hat. So if I need a moment to punch my pillow, cry, take a quiet bath to come back to earth all I have to do is pick up the phone. Don’t be afraid to ask for support.
We are all in this together.
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#5 Most mothers, especially during the early years, deal with social isolation… what was your experience?
Cassandra: Oh Yes. Being a new mom I was certainly sleep deprived, overwhelmed, over thinking, wanting to make sure I was doing everything right.
Frankly, I felt like I was in the twilight zone. My daughter nursed every two hours and I struggled with that in the beginning, it was painful. I was not in any position to leave my house. Having previously been a jet setter traveling, going out to dinners, socializing with friends and clients and then having this creature needing your body for food and everything, I was isolated for some time. When I finally had the energy I knew I had to get out of the house. I took a mommy and me yoga class and connected with like-minded moms online and in my community to get back into the swing of things.
I think in the beginning we feel like we need to get out and do stuff, but in retrospect I would have embraced that time more for what it was, beautiful bonding. As my mom would tell me everyday, “This is not going to last forever, just be here now. Everything is alright.”
Photo courtesy Cassandra Alls.
#6 Some women feel they have to settle for just any job after a pregnancy due to the ‘space’ in their resume… what would you say to these women?
Cassandra: Don’t settle. If you loved what you did before children, then go back and do that. If you did not love it then find or create what you want to do and go for it. If you need to go back to work look for something that you would enjoy. I have known many moms that have created their own successful business. I have known women that have gone back to work after 10-15 years to the company they loved. I know some circumstances may not be ideal, but work with what you have, network with friends and former co-workers. That ‘space’ is awesome experience. Do not fear the space. You have done one of the hardest jobs ever. Be proud of that.
If you need to discuss the space in your resume, talk about that with pride and if they want you can list the full job description, responsibilities and achievements. Hell, bring a PowerPoint presentation.
Attitude is everything.
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Connect with Cassandra on Facebook or at Holistic Diva.
Thank you Cassie, we heart you so very much.
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Are you a mother with a story to be shared, let me interview you…
Write to me: [email protected] */]]>
Stay tuned for more mama deliciousness.
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{The Rebelle Sisterhood.}
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