“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon
I have been gripped by debilitating fear — of the unknown, of the possibility of failure, of the cringing blush of rejection and the potential shame of self-expression.
But I have also been embraced by Love and Hope. I have known love of myself and my life and of others, so mind-blowing in its existence that my heart was close to bursting and I felt so free and so wild that nothing could get in the way of the life I always wanted. But my delicate heart and mind have flitted between the two, a battle between light and dark, a struggle to feel love when I was being enticed by the seductive temptation of fear.
To this day, I have never seen Fear and Love in the same room… for light cancels dark and fear cannot exist in the blazing glory of love.
Why then do we allow the former to live with us? To advise us on our most significant life decisions, to come into our hearts and houses and be our confidante, whilst love sits quietly, peacefully outside… waiting to be let in?
It is surely our prerogative to be sure never to sit with Fear, despite its sweet seduction and cunning disguise. To be so insistent of its absence that when we so much as whiff its putrid presence we use every last means possible to defy its existence.
Fear shackles us; brings us down. Fear stops us expressing our self for fear of shame, it stops us from making that life-changing decision for fear that it won’t work out. It stops us speaking from the heart for fear of rejection.
“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.” ~ Paulo Coelho
Love sets us free; Love lifts us up.
When living by Love, our hearts and minds are open, we believe in our infinite ability and our endless success. When love rules our hearts and minds, we can never fail — the world becomes a delicious playground of hope and possibility.
Love allows us to be true to our selves with no question, no hesitation and no discomfort. It lets us live as honestly, as wildly and as freely as we can possibly allow ourselves to live.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” ~ Franklin Roosevelt
So here’s how I propose to say a big F*ck You to Fear:
1. Face your fear head on and tell it ‘I will not succumb to you.
To acknowledge you are dealing with fear is the first step — when your mind and heart are at war with each other, when the road seems unusually rough and you just can’t decide which path to take; that is fear rearing her ugly head.
Take a moment, breathe, look into the fear, the anxiety, the pain, and indecisiveness and dive into it head first — when you face fear head on, looking straight into its raging eyes, it has no choice but to get out of your way.
You are stronger and more powerful in the face of fear than you’ve ever given yourself credit for. What is left in your dusty wake is the calming guidance of love.
2. Know that there is ‘no’ such thing as failure, only lessons.
This is perhaps the most significant because once you realise that you can never, ever really fail, the world becomes a place of opportunity and awe. Life is a series of lessons, disguised as ‘things not going the way you want.’ If we learn to look at every event in our life as a mini guru, then surely there is nothing to lose and everything to gain?
But if you don’t try, you’ll never know… Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, right? In the words of Hunter S Thompson, “Buy the ticket, take the ride.” Do it. Now.
3. Remember that when you are being authentically yourself, you are the most beautiful and radiant.
Fear can stunt us and make us cower away from being our true authentic selves. Fear of ‘what people will think’ can turn the most awesome of creatures into lacklustre individuals, too afraid to show their true colours, to reveal the inner ‘freak or geek’ or to really speak their heart.
There is nothing more beautiful and more fierce than someone being unashamedly themselves. So shout your outrageous truth from the rooftops, be amazingly, deliciously, insanely you.
After all, “Those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind, don’t matter.”
4. Know that the Universe will always deliver what is best for you.
We fear that if we lose control, and let ourselves flow down the endless and turbulent river of life, then we won’t get the results or the outcome that we want.
Au Contraire! As soon as you ‘let go’ of that hankering need to control everything and everyone — that fear of ‘losing our grip’– then we realise that the Universe loves us unconditionally and only wants the best for us.
Therefore, we won’t necessarily get what we want, but we will most certainly always get what we need. Once you tap into the unconditional love of the Universe, those fears and doubts will start to melt away to make room for the life you were truly designed to live.
“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.” ~ Marianne Williamson
Latest posts by Zoe Quiney (see all)
- Learning To Live The Questions Of My Heart. - July 10, 2015
- Blessed Are Those Who Feel Too Much. - June 17, 2015
- Listen To The Call Of Your Heart And Follow Your Passions. - May 29, 2015
- Hope For The Homeless: An Open Letter To The World. - April 24, 2015
- How I Found My Magic In The Quiet Spaces. - April 15, 2015