you and me

How to Get out of Your Own Way? Stop Judging Yourself.


“We have met the enemy and he is us.” ~ Walt Kelly

Getting out of your own way is simple. What is it you do that is stopping you from doing what you really want to do?

I used to be a master at staying busy doing tasks or jobs that prevented me doing what I really wanted, or needed to do.

You can spend much time working on your sales pitch, getting your website content just right, instead of getting out there and asking folk to buy your product.

You can spend much time sorting out little problems, rather than starting with the biggie. What about dealing with other people’s problems instead of your own?

When this looks familiar, something is in the way. Now let me save you heaps of time: it is you. You could call it mindset, but I still think that is you. For me, it’s me, every time!

How do you get out of your own way? Easy, stop looking at yourself. Do not see yourself from a perspective which is outside of you, the perspective of the narrative. If you are not looking out from your own perspective, ladies and gentlemen, you have left the building, not Elvis!

Notice when you judge yourself. Notice when you compare yourself. You are really looking from the outside in, then take some kind of position of judgment. Stop being your own judge, leave that to other people.

Judging yourself, looking from the outside in, reinforces the belief-systems that previously stopped your aspirations. Be brave, look from the inside out.

Come from the deeper natural side, let the gut, heart, and instinct rule! Use reason to guide it, not the other way around. This way you are beaming a new kind of signal into the shared realities of your roles. Do this long enough and the world responds.

It is nature’s way to evolve, and people respond mostly to why you do things, and not to what you do. It is the why-drive, as I like to call it. By mixing in new ingredients in the shared reality you have with others, the recipe changes and the food will taste different. A new thing has been created, and when there are new ingredients, there is new opportunity.

What I mean is not like manifesting from a perspective of influence: what power-hungry manipulative freak came up with that anyway?

No, this is evolution, baby! Working with nature’s way (change), and by doing so, driving its change. Next time you see yourself from the outside in, have a little laugh at your own expense.

You can only fly with the winds of change when you are looking out of your own eyes with love.

You only have your own perspective, so stop pretending, stop judging. Come back home, and if you do not know where that is; it is where the heart is, remember?


bartholomeusnicolaasengelbertusBartholomeus Nicolaas Engelbertus is a change-ninja and anti-fragilist who developed The Natural Self System when he discovered that attachments to life roles limits change-readiness and anti-fragile thinking, thanks to surviving a near-death experience and a socioeconomic collapse, both of which provided the epiphany and insights on which these anthropological models of human development are based. He is a master NLP practitioner with over 10 years of coaching and training experience. He has organized talks, workshops and retreats, presenting his coaching and training to clients in the UK, Holland, Spain, USA, Canada, Mexico, and Australia. His work has been featured in The Saturday Times and MSN Extras, Rebelle Society, and The Inertia. He is passionate about healthy living, surfing, and a happy sustainable future for the world’s children. You can connect with Bartholomeus via his website or Facebook.


{Join us on Facebook, TwitterInstagram & Pinterest}



Rebelle Society
Rebelle Society is a unique, revolutionary online magazine reporting daily acts of Creative Rebellion and celebrating the Art of Being Alive. Rebelle Society is also a virtual country for all creatively maladjusted rebels with a cause, trying to lead an extraordinary life and inspire the world with their passion. Join us on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter for daily bites of Creative Rebellion. Join our Rebelle Insider List along with over 40k Dreamers & Doers around the world for FREE creative resources, news & inspiration in the comfort of your inbox.
Rebelle Society