How to get out of your own way? Stop judging yourself.

{Photo credit:}

{Photo credit:}


“We have met the Enemy and He is Us.”
(Pogo – Walt Kelly Cartoonist 1913-1973 US)
Getting out of your own way is simple. What is it you do that is stopping you from doing what you really want to do?

I used to be a master at staying busy doing tasks or jobs that prevented me doing what I really wanted, or needed to do.

You can spend much time working on your sales pitch, getting your website content ‘just right,’ instead of getting out there and asking folk to buy your product.

You can spend much time sorting out little problems, rather than starting with the ‘biggie.’ What about dealing with other people’s problems instead of your own?

When this looks familiar, something is in the way. Now let me save you heaps of time; it is you. You could call it ‘mindset,’ but I still think that is you. For me, it’s me, every time!

How do you get out of your own way? Easy, stop looking at yourself. Do not see yourself from a perspective which is outside of you, the perspective of the narrative. If you are not looking out from your own perspective, ladies and gentlemen, you have left the building, not Elvis!

Notice when you judge yourself. Notice when you compare yourself. You are really looking from the outside in, then take some kind of position of judgment. Stop being your own judge, leave that to other people.

Judging yourself, looking from the outside in, reinforces the belief-systems that previously stopped your aspirations. Be brave, look from the inside out.

Come from the deeper natural side, let the gut, heart, and instinct rule! Use reason to guide it, not the other way around. This way you are beaming a new kind of signal into the shared realities of your roles. Do this long enough and the world responds.

It is nature’s way to evolve, and people respond mostly to ‘why’ you do things, and not to ‘what’ you do. It is the ‘why-drive’ as I like to call it. By mixing in new ingredients in the shared reality you have with others, the recipe changes and the food will taste different. A new thing has been created, and when there are new ingredients there is new opportunity.

What I mean is not like manifesting from a perspective of influence: what power hungry manipulative freak came up with that anyway?

No, this is evolution baby! Working with nature’s way (change), and by doing so, driving its change. Next time you see yourself from the outside in, have a little laugh at your own expense.

You can only fly with the winds of change when you are looking out of your own eyes with love.

You only have your own perspective, so stop pretending, stop judging. Come back home, and if you do not know where that is; it is where the heart is — remember?


{Come back to you}

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Featured in international media, like The Saturday Times, and MSN Extras, Bartholomeus Nicolaas Engelbertus’s unique personal growth approach (subtraction of ‘the undesired’ — revealing a person's inner strengths) is the driving force of the anti-conventional Natural Self System. The Epiphanies found from his near-death surfing accident, and overcoming dark times resulting from undesired personal life change, are the source and inspiration for creating a way that makes a person emerge their own individual strengths and create ways to apply this to life, career, and relationships. Bartholomeus is the creator of The Natural Self System, and runs Life Changing Surf Life Coach Retreats in Cornwall, Portugal, and Mexico. His latest book — ‘Waves of Change’ — focuses on Thriving on Change, by Unleashing your Natural Self. You can connect with Bartholomeus via and Facebook.


  • Terri commented on August 28, 2013 Reply
    Absolutely love this. It has been so true in my life. Mind if I reprint on my blog with credits?
    • nicolaasengelbertus commented on August 28, 2013 Reply
      Hi Terri, it has been so true in my life too :) Cool with the re-blogging (I ‘ve connected to your blog) Aloha, :) Bartholomeus
  • Javier Farrugia commented on October 19, 2013 Reply
    A great piece of soul searching and mirror holding to the self. Thanks
  • nicolaasengelbertus commented on October 20, 2013 Reply
    Thanks Javier, mirror holding is great for new perspectives and understanding. Then jump back into your own natural first perspective and keep moving :)

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