It is a known fact amongst my friends that I have a little black heart.
I am the cynical one, the often bitter one, the realistic one. I am not the friend to call if you want a sugar-coated response, and I am definitely not the friend to call if you want me to tell you that you are the exception to his rules and everything will be rainbows and butterflies in the morning.
I am the friend to call if you want me to tell you that he is probably cheating on you, all of your speculations are most likely true, and that you could do wayyyyy better than the crap you are putting up with.
As much as it may seem like I am the anti-Christ when it comes to relationships, I am actually quite the opposite.
In fact, I believe in love more than I believe in anything else in this whole world.
I have seen love. I know 100% that it exists and that there is nothing bigger or stronger than the force of true love. I also know that so many people are willing to settle for far less than they deserve in fear of being alone. Too often I see people living their days ‘making it work’ with a partner that they don’t even really like all that much in fear that ‘this is the best it gets’.
You are the best that it gets.
You are beautiful and amazing and inspiring. You have the potential within you to do anything that you set your mind to, and you are the only thing that will get in the way of your complete and total happiness. You make the choice each and every day whether you will be your best friend or your own worst enemy — which role have you chosen to play lately?
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the mind games, the drama, the sizing yourself up to all of the people around you.
But the truth is, the only person you should strive to be better than is the person you were yesterday. The only person you should be trying to beat or trying to measure up to is the amazing and fantastic person you know you are capable of becoming.
Comparing ourselves to others is a waste of time, and spending our days wishing that a knight in shining armor will come rescue us is an even bigger waste of time.
To be completely honest, I am getting a little tired of the damsel in distress act.
Robot girls batting their eyelashes with no opinion = Old News!
We live in a world today where it is okay to be a strong, independent, confident woman. It is okay to have dreams and goals and aspirations, and it is even more okay to make every single one of them come true. How lucky we are to have the right (and absolute capability) to do everything a man can do (all the while looking cute, classy, and a tad smart-assy!)
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with being in a relationship, and I am not saying that I do not have dreams to ride off into the sunset with the love of my life into our happily ever after wedded bliss. But that is not what this is about.
This is about your relationship with yourself. It is about accepting and understanding the fact that until you love yourself, you will never be able to love someone else. Until you can accept your flaws wholeheartedly, how do you expect to accept the flaws of a complete stranger?
Until you make up your mind that you deserve all the love and happiness that this world has to offer, you will inexplicably settle for less.
Rather than spending your days in hopes of finding the right person, why not spend your days making sure you are becoming the right person?
Find your passion, chase your dreams, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and learn what it is in this world that makes you come alive. Awaken your senses and spend your days doing all of the things that you love to do with all of the people you love to be with. This, to me, is true happiness, and this kind of happiness can be achieved completely on your own.
What a beautiful thing to understand what it is that makes you happy and have total control over making sure that it happens. What an even more beautiful discovery it will be when you are the happiest you believe possible, and someone walks into your life and opens new doors of happy within you that you didn’t even know existed.
When that day comes, promise yourself that you will be the best version of you that you know how to be.
Make the choice now to learn what you like and what you don’t, figure out what your wants and needs and wishes are.
Promise yourself that you will walk down the aisle in complete confidence that you know who you are, you know what you want, and what you want is waiting for you at the end of the altar.
We have our whole lives ahead of us. Our whole lives to love and be loved, to chase our dreams, conquer our fears, and spend our time making memories that we will never forget.
Regardless of your romantic situation at the moment, make a promise to yourself that you will love and respect yourself first. That you will treat yourself the way you know you deserve to be treated, and that you will not settle for anything less than everything.
Make this promise to yourself, because this is one promise that your future self will forever thank you for.
This is one promise you would be silly not to keep.