The Skinny Bitch Myth.
The Skinny Bitch is arguably the most hated character of all times. She is epic.
There are support groups for the “Fat” Bitch, but the “Skinny” bitch — she walks alone. So let’s examine why we hate on this bitch or any bitch for that matter. Why do we think one bitch is so different from the next?
And what’s the deeper message hidden in these bitchy judgments?
I was the skinny bitch my whole life. Being skinny doesn’t mean you have an automatic ‘love-your-body‘ season pass.
All my fat bitch friends would sit around complaining about the size of their arses or the dimples in their thighs. It was like a support-group-for-self-hatred. And I wanted in.
“Omg, my butt is like hanging out of all my shorts.”
“Girl I know, I look like whale in my bikini.”
When I joined in the self body-bashing bravado, I was quickly given a glare that said, “You are not invited to this self-hate-party. No skinny bitches allowed.”
I wanted to scream at them, “I hate myself as much as you do. Let me bitch with you!”
After all, we weren’t so different. We were all mental. Because in the real world we were all attractive young women. Why was I being discriminated against just because I was skinny? This got me thinking.
If I hated myself as much as they hated themselves, what did I have that they thought made me different? Did they think my lack of body mass made me love and cherish myself?
Here’s what my high school brain came up with:
Being skinny means different things to different people. For many women, skinny represents confident, sexy and lovable. What crazy-bitch doesn’t want to feel that? The kicker is that this is The Skinny Bitch Myth. I know first-hand about this false promise because I had a skinny body and I didn’t feel any of the hallmarked skinny feelings.
Although I did share the self-hating-habit, I was a bit different from my friends because instead of wanting to or talking about eating healthy and exercising, I actually did. But, I forced it. I deprived myself of my natural desires and cravings in the name of skinny.
Just like my friends, I was chasing the confident, sexy, lovable Promised Land of skinny. No matter how skinny I became I never hit the end of the skinny-rainbow. I never collected the confident, sexy, loveable pot-of-gold.
The common denominator is that my friends and I were trying to hate ourselves into sexy-happy.
Hating yourself will not motivate you to do better. Calling yourself a fat bitch, a skinny bitch, a stupid bitch or any other kind of bitch only leads to more bitchiness.
You are not a bitch. You were born fabulous. (In fact, I wish the term were not used to describe any woman. But it is, and I can’t deny its power.)
You are capable of feeling how you want to feel right now, you don’t have to earn it by being skinny (or skinnier).
You can achieve self-confidence and sexy lovability right this second.
1. Stop sucking in and breathe.
Sucking in sucks. And let’s be honest, sucking in is a form of hiding. Maybe what you really desire is to relax and be yourself with confidence. You can be yourself with confidence right now. No flat stomach required. Breathe, Beautiful!
2. Make an I’m-so-awesome list about your beautiful body, your genius thoughts and unique opinions.
Now bask in your sun-shining soul. High-five that bitch!
3. Practice ecstatic empathy.
Pretend you are a ‘Peeping-Tom’ on yourself while sending ecstatic empathy waves. Staying in the warmth of your soul-sunshine, acknowledge that you’ve done the best you can with what you have.
How can you transform your challenges into a sexier-stronger you? Take a learning-is-fun (even if it is learning the hard way) approach. Sometimes experiencing how not to love yourself teaches you how to love yourself.
4. Commit to at least one act of self-love daily.
Love is like a drug. It’s an invigorating natural high that makes you want to skip and kick-up your heels! Use your self-lovin’ to fuel your self-improvement goals like getting exercise and making nutritious choices.
Remember, you can get a fit body by hating yourself to make skinny bitch choices. However, the more effective path is to high-five that bitch and love yourself to a sexy-happy body. No bitchy-ness required.