I Will Be Spacious.
By Liza Baritt.
My intention is to be spacious.
I am going to fill up this body, expanding energetically beyond the confines of this skin. I am going to leap out into the people I encounter, the atmosphere, the wide wacky World Wide Web. I am going to linger in the thoughts of those who have just passed through leaving a delightful wisp of real connection.
I will make an impression with hints of love and possibility, the kind that inspires a person to go out and grab the real thing. Not just from me of course, but from the world.
I am going to shine light and breathe into my hard-earned sadness, loneliness and doubt, and let them inhabit me until they crawl out of the top of my head and scamper off in search of cooler darker confines.
When I invite that crowd of sorrows to come on in and make itself at home, I will serve up kindness and generous acceptance to my shadows. Like a gracious hostess to my irrational fears and ugly traits, I will ask them what they need, invite them to stay as long as they wish, and then smile and wave goodbye with the deep satisfaction of having my space returned to me.
When the unruly guests of despair and regret arrive, I will go easy on my calendar, temporarily avoid my email, stop returning phone calls and hide out for as long as I need to let those damn feelings move through me and out of me.
I give myself permission to replay conversations, real and imagined, over and over in my head until they offer up clues as to what went wrong and where and why.
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I will purposefully daydream my new life into tangible substance and find the space between obligations and appointments to miss my exit or wander aimlessly for no apparent reason other than the fact that I am lost inside my own head, floating in all of this space.
I will be gentle and compassionate when I am ‘spacey’, knowing that this is a reflection, not of my weakness, but of being alive with what is.
I acknowledge my vast ‘not knowing’ as a necessary part of the struggling and striving to make sense out of my reality while not collapsing under the weight of it all. Absentmindedness may be the outer appearance, but the visceral experience is that of a mind in a firestorm, engulfed in something so powerfully transformative that it leaves nothing but pure space.
I will not rush to fill up my empty spaces with your plans and promises. Or worse yet, with my own projections of your plans and promises. I will no longer corroborate the story that I am small and secondary. I will fill the shoes of the generous giver while occupying the space that is mine for the taking.
I can ask you to please move over and allow myself to be moved as well. Moved into new spaces, uncomfortable spaces, terrifying, electrifying spaces.
When things come together, in that sticky sweet place where it is oh-so-tempting to slip into non-existence, I will still find space for myself. And when things fall apart, I will pick up the pieces and put myself back together, softer and yet stronger with even more space.
In all of this cracking open and expanding like a volatile young cosmos, I will remain available, flexible and adoring, in love. I live to care and I actually do not mind being an accessory, added on to your larger-than-life life.
I do not need to be the center of your universe because I can be a universe unto myself. I just need you to notice that I am here.
I am not an empty vessel waiting to be filled. I am whole and visible, and brimming with ideas and emotions and life. See me. Hold me. Squeeze me.
Want to know me, because I am here and I am ready to take up more space.
*****
Liza is a positive psychology and neuroscience geek with a passion for destination yoga and a lust for connecting the dots. She studies and advises on relationships: to the body, to the spirit, to each other and to the self. Liza works with women and girls as a counselor and yoga life coach. She uses evidence-based practice and cutting edge research on happiness and mindfulness to help individuals thrive. Understanding individual strengths, what makes life meaningful, and building resilience and personal power are the foundations of her therapeutic approach. She believes books are her friends and her happy place does not have a hammock. Liza has big dreams for expanding connections, promoting authenticity, and living with an attitude of abundance and action. Find Liza exploring positive emotions on Pinterest, Facebook or Email.
{Filled with possibility.}
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