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When i lost my words last night. {poetry}

 

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/521854675542686841/

Image: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/521854675542686841/

By Nicole Muse.

when i lost my words last night, i was just entranced by

 the soft silhouette

 of your dark hair, the gentle on the backdrop of flames.

 my body tucked under your right side, as usual.

 your eyes two decades hence,

 at once, my protectors and lovers

 and i glow with comfort

 and satisfaction.

 

“I love you,” you said.

 but all i found was hesitation.

 

what do I say?

 i love you like last Tuesday

(not like there was anything going on)

but in the white-space of that kind of ordinary

you have become my definition of desire

and so i observe you,

 in this sacred that we have created,

 to learn more.

 to unlock the secret silent pictures

 of this

particular

moment.

 

i want to say it, i

wanted to say it, i

even

opened my mouth to try, but

that smile, sneaking out through the edges,

wedged a doorstop under my tongue. a

battered wooden block stuck

right there underneath

the “I”

 

there is no way to share

just how much or what kind of i love you this is

when my soul is your fingertips

and i’m caught out here in this beautiful little

breath

of rich dark soil and eternity

 

how can i possibly say I love you now?

these are only words

and i am blowing in the hot metal sky shining

stretching up through the punctuated cerulean

between undulating waves of sunflowers,

billowing prairie grasses

echoes from side to side across the horizon, and back,

in crispy hysteresis and

scrolls of papyrus unwrapping from the deep dark blue

of straight above, messages that are too fast and too symbolic to catch

and so they slip through my porous grasp

like blazing meteors of wispy dandelions

as your warm hands caress my back

my face

letting me swim through them

at my own speed

 

you are the late summer high plains of my body

the heavy, active air of storms passed

and brightness reclaimed

but, even so,

there is no way I can love you right now!

in any way other than

the textures that are these, the singular ones,

the exact sunflowers in this particular field

dancing in an oven of gales

and splaying my hair isotropically

into lace

 

so i just smile silently

nestle my nose to your chest

and drink in the nourishment of

happy to be home

you don’t need my words anyway

because you are the other

 

sunflowers

*****

NicoleNicole is half embedded in this physical reality, but mostly resides in a world of her subconscious creation, driven by lucid dreams that often cross the boundaries into daily life. Professionally, she teaches college students about data and positive living. Her addictions include tornadoes, fire poi, astrology, data mining, and conscious creation.

*****

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