How to Write a Love Letter to Yourself.
{Photo via Vintage Everyday}
By Charlie Pope.
If I were to send you a letter, what would I put in it?
How would I express myself? Could I be kind and truthful, could I offer you the same love that I offer strangers and assholes, friends, family, heartbreakers and those that might have been?
The old answer was No. No, you don’t get the same grace, you are held to a higher standard. You are a fortress with flashing lights, nothing phases you — look at how you dance and joke, ridiculing yourself while trying to make everyone else relax.
But that lack of self-consciousness, which seems so great as you navigate social situations with ease and without anxiety, which draws people to you because you are real and open, also means that you are not truly conscious of self.
Your fortress and light show have also distracted you from your true feminine self — your intuitive dirty gorgeous wild woman soul is inside that show of false masculinity. She is locked within He, they are unbalanced within you.
And all are hurting for it; she needs to move and shine, he needs to relax and know the ease of her. She needs the safety of his even keel, he needs her support and her wild imagination to spur his dreams.
And you, dear heart, need them to be in harmony, in sync, gently tipping the scales within you back and forth, but not unbalanced as they are now.
Not with your dark forest of masculine energy weighing down one side while a featherweight girl barely registers on the other.
Listen, my love, you must let her go. Let that tiny spark go, she will fill another womb, she is neither destroyed nor gone. You have seen her in the eyes of another baby; you know she is right there, so let her go and unleash the real feminine in you.
Your feminine fills her half of the scales with a swirling deep fuchsia whirlpool — ripe with creativity, humming with magic and dance moves, glowing and sparkling from a belly full of stars.
As this lovely mass settles into the scales, the dense forest of man seems to thin out. There is a golden fire glowing in a clearing. This forest is not a barrier, it’s not impenetrable. This forest is deep and dark, but also full of paths and ferns and twinkling streams.
And the words of the masculine spill out:
“Come sit by the fire, I want nothing more than to warm you and give you security here. I want nothing more than for your stars and dance moves to brighten the place even more. I want you, I need you, I love you, I adore you. I can’t help but worship you.
I see you, and you are glorious to behold.”
And the blushing feminine steels herself, and looking into the other half and responding:
“Thank you. For holding it all together for so long. Thank you for carrying us, thank you for your saintly patience, thank you for having faith that I would come back even when I had no idea I was gone. I love you, I need you, I want you more than I knew.
I have the utmost faith in you and what you can do. I trust your love. I want to spark your fire, I want to stir your heart, and I need your strength and warm arms more than I ever dared to believe. You are my other half, I am not whole without you.”
And he smiles, and she smiles.
“I am so scared,” he whispers. “I am so scared,” she whispers back, “but I’m ready and I can’t wait.” “I’m ready too,” he says, “and I’m right here.”
They will tremble and they will stumble and they will laugh and dance and it won’t be perfect. In fact, it will be a mess, but finally they have met, finally they have spoken their truths. And you will never be the same.
You will know yourself, you can still entertain a room, but now you can do it honestly. It won’t be a show, it will be your truth. And, as ever, the truth is love.
So now I can be kind and truthful to you too. Finally the answer to the question of whether I can be as gracious to you as I am to others is Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
I love you. I love where you were. I love where you are. Keep on growing.
Keep on bringing your wild flowers into the forest.
*****
Charlie Pope is a restless thinker, a design scientist and a scribbler of furious letters to herself and everyone she loves. She spends her days exploring the interactions between communities and their environments, and finding solutions to help reconnect people to place, to nature, to each other, all under the guise of a fisheries and marine affairs professional. In between she writes about balance, sustainability, love, and fear. Sometimes she sends these writings out, sometimes these letters sit unsent waiting for their time. You can find Charlie on Facebook.
{Let Yourself Be Love}
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