The Barrage. {poetry}
{source}
I guess that something burst
inside of me,
like a barrage,
but not as fast.
The mask fell off
when the water masses
threw me to the ground.
I guess I didn’t think
that the wall would fall already,
although I have tried
to dig my way through it
during many years,
to see the light,
and feel the freedom.
Like a prisoner
in his little cell,
who every day scrapes
off a little bit of the wall,
with a hidden tool,
I would get through
no matter how long
it would take.
And the wall cracked at last,
and brought with it all
on its way to the unknown.
I didn’t have time to move away
when the water masses
rushed forth,
but drowned in all
the lumber and dirt
that the water brought.
I was so caught off-guard
and I felt the anger rise inside me
when I fell to the ground.
Felled by my own water
that raged over me now.
My clothes were ripped off my body
by the power of the water,
and when all was over and silent,
I stood there naked.
Was it this that I had hoped for
when I was dreaming of
the fall of the wall ?
Now I was lying
among the debris and rubble
on the wet soil
and everything was chaos.
My old habit of fighting
had to come to an end
because everything was open
and straight
in front of my eyes to see.
No protection, no wall anymore,
to hide behind
for cover and security.
The people close to me
looked at me in wonder,
and I didn’t know
what they felt or thought,
when they saw a mermaid
flounder on dry land…
only that everything was changed.
How could I explain something
that was a mystery to myself?
As naked, I wanted both to hide from the world
and to dance like crazy, screaming
in a summer rain as never before.
Such remarkable contrasts…
I also wanted to grieve
what had been washed away
when the wall fell,
and the tears came
without asking for permission.
Walls are heavy and impenetrable,
while freedom is light as a feather
and infinite…
yet it can be hard to carry.
Maybe because it can
lift you like a bird
to unimaginable heights
and unknown places
we otherwise would never reach.
*****
Frieda Tärn is a constant seeker of who she is, trying to understand herself and life through nature and gardening, reading, being creative in various ways, and believing that magic exists everywhere if we only allow it. You could contact Frieda on Facebook.
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