How to Face Your Fear: A Survivor’s Guide.
By Katherine Mullin.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ~ Frank Herbert
There are times when we hit a brick wall with life and we become fearful. Fears are really common; you’re only human.
No one escapes fear, it’s part of life. We all have fears. Most fears come from a place of not feeling good enough, or lack. Feeling helpless or trapped by a situation can feel like a lonely place, yet everyone has been there at one time or another. They come in many shapes and sizes.
They can start off small and grow, or they can be looming fears that have been there for years, larger than life. We start to fear that the future is bleak, of course it is not, it just feels that way. It feels that way for a reason and the reason is good.
So next time you feel negative for whatever reason or circumstance, look the feeling in the eye and ask it what it means… what it really means. And dare I say, give it a welcome, say Hello, sit down and take it into your heart. Ask it what it is doing back again. Why it is here?
It is ultimately here to help and guide you through to where you need to be.
Let me explain what I mean…
Negative feelings can often show us the way forward; we just have to be willing to listen to them. Instead, we engage in all sorts of other behaviors to make ourselves feel better. These may include overeating, endless shopping, excess drinking, too much work, and so on. We avoid the real issues.
It’s only natural when faced with fear.
A Guide to Facing Feelings and Moving through the Fear:
Sit down and breathe for a minute or three.
In and out, deep and slow.
Listen to the feeling that comes.
Where is it in your body?
Can you move the feeling to another place in your body? For example, can you move an anxious feeling from your chest into your little toe?
Give it a shape and a color.
Try changing the shape and the color of the feeling.
How does that feel?
You may start to feel different.
Ask the fear why it is there.
What answer does it give?
How can you change this feeling?
What would make it go away?
Listen to your thoughts. The answers are inside.
It may help to write down some thoughts.
Then fold up the paper and put it away.
Imagine yourself on a beach or in a safe place for you.
Take some more deep breaths. See what you see, hear what you hear, and feel what you feel.
And relax there for a while…
Embrace your fears and move on.
Fear can be a bridge from misery to happiness.
Fear can be a sign — a sign you have fallen off your path.
Fear can be a friend. A whisper that says, Listen to me.
Fear can be a teacher. It can guide you to new places.
Fear can be a clue. If you ask it why, it can help unlock your own mystery of what to do next.
“But isn’t fear bad?” I hear you cry.
Fear is only bad if you ignore it. It’s here for a reason, so you may as well embrace it and see what can be done to change it. Remember, most feeling are temporary. Feelings don’t last forever. We can’t be in a state of fear forever. It will pass.
This will help it disappear quickly and help you move forward to where you need to be. The fear will get you there, it is something to face and acknowledge rather than ignore. Not only will facing your fear be a start to changing it, it will also bring you closer to your goals.
At one end of a scale we have fear, and on the other end of the scale is a blissful state of happiness! So how can we effortlessly move along this scale? Because although it would be lovely to constantly be at the happy end of the scale, fear has a funny way of creeping back time to time.
But hey, you could welcome it, get acquainted with it, as it’s here to help and not to stay forever. Face it and it won’t hang around. It may involve change or growth but it will be worth it!
Most of us don’t like change for a variety of reasons. But sometimes a change is needed. This may mean action or it may simply mean a shift in perception, both are effective. This doesn’t mean selling your house and worldly possessions, and running away to a silent retreat for the next six years.
It means looking inside. All the answers are inside and they are waiting to be found. What your feelings are telling you can give amazing clues into feeling less trapped or fearful, and how to move into a phase of peace and happiness.
What about situations that you can’t change? The ones out of your control? You may have to accept that you don’t have control over every situation. The best thing to do is to let go.
If you cling to the outcome, you may spend a lot of time in a deep ocean of turmoil, worrying and clinging on to it for dear life. The way to let go and not worry about the outcome takes some faith.
How to Let Go of Worry.
Think about what is worrying you.
Think about what is the worst that can happen.
Think, is this a true fact that it will happen? Probably not, so why spend the next few days worrying about it?
Now think of all the other outcomes that could happen. Do they seem better?
Think about what you would like to happen. Write it down and put it somewhere safe.
Now let go of that outcome. You don’t need it. It is there. The Universe knows it is in a safe place. Now you can forget about it.
You may want to imagine the worries associated with this floating up into a balloon, as it carries your worries away.
Congratulations, you have faced your fears today!
Tomorrow is taken care of now.
Katherine Mullin loves exploring. She is a teacher, and loves the knowledge learning brings to us. She believes in creativity and kindness in all things. She has just qualified as a NLP practitioner, and hopes to build her own company around NLP for education, business and therapy. She has her own small Reiki room too, which she uses to heal and relax her friends. She meditates and practices Yoga to hear whispers of the heart and peace out from a busy day. She loves swimming in pools or open water. She is very excited about the Aerial Yoga that is coming to Liverpool. She believes in great hidden secrets, like Roald Dahl said, “… watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” She also loves photography, art and fashion, and hopes to develop work on a Yoga photography project in 2014. You could connect with Katherine on Facebook and Twitter.