The Not-knot — Part 1.


The not-knot, she reads on the label of a designer pillow as she browses through the Icelandic store. The designer has filled a long, round, woolen tube, tied it into a beautiful knot, and sewn it together.

This knot won’t open anytime soon. It’s made to support, to stay tied. If it were to unknot at some point, it would be because it’s so worn or has been shaken, thrown and used to capacity, that it couldn’t support anymore.

My heart is like that knot, she thinks to herself, but my heart is ready to untie. One end hanging loose, now is the time to find the way out of the pattern.

The designer of her heart knot is herself. And as the masks worn have been taken off one after another, she still has no idea what the result of the unknotting will be. And no idea of what the not-knot holds and absolutely no idea of how it will feel to untie it.

As she sits in the car speaking her truth to her family, as she steps up to ask the question, “What is really going on here? Let’s talk about the elephant in the room,”  and as she listens to them, she feels her heart being untied.

As she speaks her truth, she knows this may or may not be resolved for them, there’s nothing she can do. But she can resolve it for herself. No need for anything other than what is.

She has felt truth and her guard is down. Willing to listen — to shake. She is worn, and has used this pattern to capacity. She is untied. Spontaneously.

With minimal effort she holds herself open and lets the fears move through her, lets the possibilities flow. All may be lost. All may be found. Nothing will be found without risking losing it all.

As clichés become truths, she realizes the depth of all that is simple. Take a deep breath. Feel into yourself before you act. Love the other before you speak. The only thing you can change is you.

The core knot. She didn’t know what it was. Didn’t know it was so close to her. Didn’t know that the actions and contractions of another could so deeply influence her.

She hadn’t seen her own untruthfulness because it was well hidden. Her staying small didn’t serve them. Their staying small didn’t serve her.

There is no reason to live a life where our connections are made wound to wound. Now is the time to connect from power and willingness and vulnerability. To stand firm, now, here.

Things as they were had just been lost, and nothing yet was in place. Let’s give space now. Turn to the simplest of laws.

When a necklace is knotted up, it won’t untangle by pulling harder. It needs a wiggle, space, yet another wiggle, and more space. Until you see how the tangle is arranged, and what ends have been twisted around the others, you can’t undo it. Even when you see it, the tangle is still there until you start the untying.

Moment to moment, action by action; taking a breath, giving space, and wiggling to shake what has been held as truth to let a new pattern unfold.

The new truth emerges from the root knot outward to change everything we experience as the world. Not knotted. Unleashed.




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