I Dare You to Listen to Your Divinity Within the Tears of Letting Go.
I know life is busy, and it’s almost impossible to sit for quiet moments with ourselves — however, for me, it seems the busier things get, the more I need to get quiet, retreat and reflect.
Lately, I feel the need to re-group and push the Reset button, to get clear on my intentions, a spring cleansing ritual of sorts.
So, this is the time of year I clean my house — spiritually and physically. I tend to my heart, mind and soul. I write things off, clean out the cobwebs, purge and go about reorganizing through quiet reflection.
I listen to, and release my soul from, the meaningless feelings and the really fucking bad moments I have hung on to out of habit. I write off losses as I begin to make space for newness in my life for the coming year.
Today I listened to the crying that comes as part of the cleansing.
The tears for the new feelings, ones of enlightenment served with a side order of Holy; the acknowledgment of loss that comes with growth and is examined in those intimate and quiet moments that have worked their way through me and settled deep inside.
I cried for the woman I was, and the one I have become, and the one I am still destined to be. I cried for the recognition that comes after the acknowledgement that my soul’s knowing has taken root.
I cried for the feelings of love in the wake of accepting that my heart has a new peace for the old familiar sharp edges and the discarded limiting lenses.
I cried for the new and the old, as they have both pushed and pulled me away from and toward my yearnings. There is light in the contradictions of resistance and forgiveness.
I cried for the revealing of me and my need to connect until I am all hung out on the line, wind-dried fresh and crisp in the sunlight, washed clean and ready.
I cried for the ability to stand at life’s front door and be knocked down, to be circled by the critics in disbelief, consumed by their judgement and uncertainty. And for the behaving badly and the reverence of truth that rubs up against me reminding me of my part and my already enough-ness.
I cried for the acknowledgement of false expectations, false comparisons, and false investment in the stories I tell and re-tell myself.
I cried in honor of my divine cravings, the fullness of the present, and for my soul that never lies. I cried for the blessings, the goodness and abundance I enjoy.
Then I asked…
Now that I am here, stretched and expansive with curiosity, what now?
What is it I am willing to serve up, to lay on the line? What am I willing to be open to receiving?
Fear walks in the door disguised as procrastination, doubt and not being enough. Fear feels hot.
How often do we truly dig deep and touch the real yearning protected by fear within us? The too-hot-to-touch places that hold the precious things we say we want; the bigger than life dreams and Holy Fuck visions that we keep under wraps, for fear of judgement… and so, how often do we hold back and stop short on moving forward, from going all the way with ourselves?
How much sacrifice, vulnerability and uncertainty are we willing to wager in this one life, to have what we tell ourselves we want?
How much room are we willing to make for the new? What are we willing to ditch and say goodbye to, that no longer serves us yet keeps us safe?
What do we believe we deserve?
The soul exchanges with the physical and together they create our karmic experience… of what we are here to receive, give, and learn individually and collectively.
It’s all there waiting for us to call it forward.
“You get as many chances as you want; as many as you dare to make for yourself.” ~ Edward Bloor
Let life feel like an opening for much more. Let it feel potent and rich, a stronger pull to get serious and brave about what you really desire, and face what you fear.
I ask in my quiet moments…
What do I have to offer the Universe? How can I serve? What do I want to create in this world? How committed am I to the things I tell the Universe I truly want?
Here is what I now know is true:
- All my cravings are divine.
- Synchronicities are instructive.
- Procrastinations are sacred.
- Listen more. Speak your truth always, till it hurts.
- Meld your wants to your weakness.
- Create dreams when you don’t know how.
- Truth is not simple.
- Sacrifice isn’t something you do once.
- Enlightenment always comes with a side order of Holy.
This can be the year to commit more to ourselves, up the ante, and call our own bluff by falling softly into what is meant for us.
More love. More desire. More unfolding. More trust. More courage. More space to receive and accept all that shows up — which we have attracted.
Relax into what is, without the need to make it into what we think it should be.
Our soul, our wise woman, naturally absorbs what we are ready to embrace and to shed. Sit with her and listen. Ask her to tell you and show you, then let go and trust the wisdom of your heart’s desire without edit or question.
Communicate your desires consistently; be willing to sit with the seemingly void spaces while the Universe configures itself to accommodate your new life.
I dare you. I’ll be casting my desires right along with you.
Dana O’Dell is a Mindset Mentor and Writer. She is the founder of thebeautifulreal.com, where she writes about living with cancer from an outlier perspective. Where women who have experienced any life altering circumstance find inspiration. It’s all about love, forgiveness, faltering, falling down, and always getting back up. She holds space, witnesses women on overcoming fear and overwhelm. She is a vintage dress addict and smeller of roses, and is currently writing a memoir, her life navigation manual.