Sparring With Your Demons: A Battle Cry.
Though you may feel these days that your heart is a mess, and that disappointment has broken you beyond repair, know that you are a warrior goddess.
Even when you are debilitated by fear from living with that fierce, violent fire with which you once warmed your world, remember that coals burn hot long after a fire burns out.
In the face of crushing disappointment or perceived failure, do not run and hide. For as comforting as the womb may seem, we were never meant to go back inside. Instead, suit up!
Answer the call of that ringing conch shell.
Rally all your spare tinder and recover a spark. In a rage of self-love, spar with those demons that dare challenge you, the ones that threaten to disassemble your peace of mind with their violent fury and poison-tipped talons.
Let them know you are ready to hear their stories and learn their lessons.
Behead Ego, Illusion, and Fear; they will fold from the force of your intention, from the ferocity of your love. Use their bodies as food for your worms and let their blood moisten the soil under your feet.
Bury them with respect and compassion, for they will always return to this world and will continue to be worthy adversaries.
Through conversion and transformation, let these once-demon angels serve you.
In the form of fluffy, nutritious compost, they will feed your soul with the love, integrity, and hope it craves. Their once heavy hold will slip into silk, inspiring movement and mobility. The compact dirt through which your roots previously attempted to break will break and yield to your power.
Let this demon-based compost inoculate your soul’s garden and propel its plants — your desires, creative endeavors, and relationships — into their big, bright, and beautiful futures. The ones bursting with ripe fruits in succulent colors, grounded in the deepest, richest soil this earth has to offer.
It is soil built from the blood, sweat, and tears of battle.
It hosts the most diverse array of microbes of all, just as lessons learned by facing one’s own limitations, and provides the largest expansion of consciousness.
In short, take the long road!
Do not accept the mollifying medicine of others, for you alone hold the herbs of your healing. Look within.
You know it is well worth the suffering and the strife because, at the end of this war, you will get to rinse of blood of those demons from your skin and dance in that garden amongst your flowering creations — fresh, free, and vibrantly alive.
Jessica Sobocinski is school garden teacher by profession, and a hiking, dirt-worshipping friend by nature; however, she is mostly just a young woman attempting to live fiercely and authentically. She is happiest when she is nude, nurturing living things, cooking, running, dancing, turning compost, sunbathing, and hugging.