poetry

I’d Like to Keep Laughing. {poetry}

 

Make me willy nilly silly
like a cotton-fluff kitten.

You know,
I’ve been serious before.

been down that rabbit hole
of “What’s the point?” before.

Been stuck in the muck
caught in weaving my own
trapped, trapping web.

You know,
I’ve forgotten to look at the sky
and let my mouth spill open
in timeless Os
of wonder.

I’ve closed my eyes before
not to blink
but, to shut them.
To turn off the steady stream
of the little big existences
existing right before me.
(Because that’s Life, you know?
One big drunken pavilion formed theater
led by that little pan-man.
You know?
You know him.
I know you do.
Dionysus?
Yeah, that one.
He loved to drink.
And fuck.
And watch drama.
Well that’s all happening in front of us anyway.)

I’ve bristled
at the tinkling laughter of a stranger before
just because I was feeling a little lonely.
a little too verklempt.
Oh yes, too verklempt, indeed.
My mouth set in a decidedly twitchy black and pitchy frown.

You know, I’ve done that.

I have!

You wouldn’t believe me.

I can see that you don’t now.

Because I’m intoning
lyrical wind chimes as I tell you
and because
my eyes are open.

No,
I haven’t shut them.

Because.
Well.
I was about to say:
Because.
of You.

But it’s not because of you!
(laugh!)
Can you even believe that?

It’s not because of you.

Because,
Because.
I already found my way out of the rabbit hole
out of the set frown
out of the bristles…

some time…

Well, it’s been some time now.

Yes, it’s been some time now since then.

It was before I met you.

I found my way in to a glistening
slippery minnow flow
in to deep proverbial rolling laughter
in to the divine comedy of it all.

This laugh. This life.

I found myself never again surrounded by strangers.

Just by people walking next to me.

(inhale)

(exhale)

And then…

and then…

and Then,

You came.

You!

My eyes were already open.

But now they’re open wider.

So it’s not because of you.

But with you,
the whites of my eyes
are getting whiter.

Yes, with you
I’d like to see if we can spill some more light in.

Into this existence.

Can we peel back the facades
and roll down some holiday snowbanks together?

I’d like to keep laughing.

Can we turn that serious soundtrack down a little?

Turn it on when we want to.

When we want to turn each other on
I’ll get serious with you.

Can we?

Can we, please?

Can we?

Please?

***

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Brittany Connors

Brittany Connors

Brittany Connors is an actress, writer, and general life enthusiast based out of NYC. She is a lover of story, text, and all of the various expressions we find to make sense of ourselves and the world around us. She believes all expression is a celebration of this breathtaking existence.
Brittany Connors