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Unbreakable.

 

{via Tumblr}

{Photo via Tumblr}

By Lisa Tolbert

Look at me, listen please.

I know what you see

and what you hear.

But I am telling you,

showing you now,

that you are not seeing

or hearing it all.

I’m a shining star,

filling up the sky

with my energy,

warmth and light.

I am a melody,

sweet and strong,

filling your head

with visions of joy.

I am all this and so much more

than any of you really know,

because underneath the glow and tune,

there is a dark and solemn gash.

A wound created long ago exists

in the core of this creature, strong.

You think I am unbreakable and pliant,

but the chasm of pain weakens my joints.

I keep the chasm covered with my love

for self and for life and for joy.

And I keep it hidden from view of those

who would run from it,

or choose to take advantage.

I know I am deep, complex and dark

on a level that most cannot comprehend.

But I know me, and I embrace this

as a big girl, full of experience and jaded.

It is this secret pain I carry

that fuels my need

to move, laugh, smile,

and catapult myself

through my world, my space, my life.

Keep moving to stay alive.

So tonight I look in the eyes

of the woman I know,

better than I know anyone or anything,

as her smiling face

sits beside my typing fingers

on the page I have created to express me.

And I see her for the queen she truly is.

I see the little girl need inside her big girl heart,

and I reach out to her

with my every single thing

to let her know that,

even when you don’t see her.

I do.

And I am here.

And we are going

to keep living,

laughing,

cartwheeling,

and breathing our way,

day by day,

through the tunnels

and over the bridges

of this thing we call our life,

and we will be together,

even when everyone else

has closed their eyes

to the reality of our complexity,

in favor of the single-sided shiny side

that everybody loves,

and everyone desires.

Knowing above all

that it is the dark corners

of the we that makes us

glow so viciously,

and the knowledge

 of the tenuousness of joy

that propels us to embrace ourselves

and choose to live completely in contentment,

regardless of the shaking of our soul

and the burning of our tears.

We are here, and we remain as always,

unbreakable.

 *****

LisaTolbertLisa Tolbert is a writer, painter, weightlifter, lover of life, and a seeker of truth. She tries to bring light to a dark corner when she sees it — by asking questions, holding hands, and smiling through tears with those who are hurting, including herself. Self-empowerment is the key to change. And her mission is to be fluid like a stream and bring change, sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently, to a fearful world.

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