The Soft Heart of Fear.
There is a lot of change and shifting happening for so many of us right now.
Change usually seems to be accompanied with a myriad feelings, including fear.
Fear: false evidence appearing real.
You can beat your fear. Conquer your fear. Ignore your fear. Be fearless. Where there is fear, there is no love, but there is another way. Embrace your fear. Honor your fear. Befriend your fear. Understand your fear.
Your fear is trying to love you. Fear is a biologically-based response to danger in the environment. You experience fear because your system senses that you are in danger.
Danger. Danger, Will Robinson.
Your nervous system is designed to act in the signal of danger. Fortunately, most of us aren’t trying to run away from lions and tigers and bears. Fear is still wired into your nervous system for your survival.
Since you can’t beat it into submission and overcome being a human, it’s more sustainable to develop a curiosity about what wisdom it has to offer you.
The heart of fearlessness is discovered through embracing and befriending fear. Now that you aren’t usually in actual danger, and you are still wired for fear, your system recognizes anything that might be dangerous to your ego as fear or anything that feels threatening to your comfort zone.
That means that the fear response can be triggered by things that are only happening in your head! In that sense, it feels real. That’s because it is real to your system. It’s really important to understand this difference.
Most of the teachings I see about fear is that it is “false evidence appearing real” and to act anyway, discounting fear’s validity. This does not serve you towards fearlessness. It serves you towards acting in the face of fear, which is valuable in it’s own right and and important skill to hone.
Sometimes you just need to take a leap.
Fear is energy — the stories you have in your head, the thoughts that surface that feel real. It’s important to honor these stories. Something I’ve discovered in my own journey is that every experience has wisdom and negative qualities.
When I started my inquiry into excavating the wisdom of so-called negative experiences and emotions, I found that there is not only wisdom, but deep love and a ground to play in for transformation and embodiment.
There are the stories that you play over in your mind about life, men, women, love, money, business, speaking your truth or being yourself, being vulnerable or the unknown are actually trying to protect you.
That means that these stories while they are not real, are real in your system because they are directing toward experiences that are unresolved and need attention and love. They are projections of past experiences onto the future. Those experiences are still real — alive in your nervous system.
Simply rewriting your story or dropping your story maintains this emotional energy in your nervous system. Then, when something similar happens, you get triggered and it’s difficult to know if you are actually in danger or if it’s a message from the shadows pointing back to your own wholeness.
Become curious about your fear. Are you actually in danger such as physical, emotional, or an unhealthy situation? If you are, then get out of there!
Are you feeling vulnerable? What are the stories that are being activated? Where are these stories trying to guide you for healing?
Transform the energy of your story, free up your heart, learn the wisdom language of your shadow and learn to embrace your fear as a path back to wholeness and your innately courageous heart. Beneath your fear is a vast wellspring of love.
Are you brave enough to travel there?
Dr. Nandi Hetenyi is a shadow integrator, wisdom excavator, scavenger of the heart, ambassador for embodied self-love and interloper working for the light. She has a gift for going beneath the surface and seeing where the light needs shining, the spirit dusting and the shadow cleared. She believes that when a woman learns the wisdom language of her shadow she connects with her vital feminine essence and becomes free to embody who she truly is. She works with women to transform all their shadowy bits and stuck places into confidence, joy, freedom, inspiration and creativity in love and work. You can find her at her website and on Facebook .