Pray To Love The Mystery & Set Yourself Free From The Need To Know.
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I wrote a prayer to a person no longer in my life.
I’ve always had a teeter-totter relationship with the notion of prayer. In my early years, it was a tidy, boxed-up philosophy: you pray to God for things. Things like health, safety, good tidings, favorable outcomes, and the liken.
Unsurprisingly, my obsessively inquisitive mind experienced difficulty embracing this static practice without hearty analysis.
Over the years, countless existential questions and zero accompanying answers re-shaped my approach and perspective. One question in particular continues to come to mind:
If God is an omnipresent, infinite energy that is in everything, why only pray to It/Him/Her? Why not branch out and pray to the Universe, the Moon, the Sky, the Earth, or to specific people in our lives?
After years of introspection, the practice of prayer is still alive in my life despite its deviation from any particular tradition. I’ve recently achieved beautiful experiences with the silent practice of praying to people in my life.
Most recently, I prayed to a person I was in a relationship with. It was an intense, fiery relationship that ended abruptly, a storyline that never reached a conclusion.
This situation, for whatever reason, still swivels and sways in and out of my mind on a weekly basis. Thoughts of an ex-lover I care about deeply, but cannot seem to communicate with in a rich, authentic way.
The practice was similar to composing a letter. I expressed my innermost feelings, contradictions, and questions. Weaved throughout the message were my purest and most authentic, soul-fueled energies. I prayed for abundance, wisdom, strength and insurmountable love in his life.
I prayed that despite our apparent discord, he and I will grow closer to our higher selves through any challenge we face.
I wrote with every cell, every fiber of my being as if, in some cosmic way, the energy would arrive in his heart like a gift on the doorstep.
I’ve spent too much of this brief, miraculous life worrying and fearing, clinging to outcomes over which I have no control, and losing sleep over answers I cannot unearth answers for.
This heartfelt practice, I believe, set me free from the need to know and tuned me into simply loving the mystery.
Call me insane, but I believe in a prayer’s power to resonate on both ends.
Pray to anything and anyone that perplexes you, causes you grief, holds you back, or even brings you immense power and joy. Send love and radiant energy to the things that repulse you the most. Express from your solar plexus, that deep place of knowing between your heart and belly.
Send love, with the recognition that love’s light casts out all darkness.
With honor and praise to the fundamental interconnection and sameness of all things… pray.
*****
An optimistic seeker of magic and moonlight, Amy Smith is a Colorado native who is inspired by nature, human connection, movement, abstraction, spirituality, and wine. She works full time in the running/outdoor industry and devotes spare time to running trails and rendezvousing with friends. You could contact Amy via her blog.
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