How Much Do We Know Ourselves?
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~ Aristotle
How much do we really know ourselves?
That is a question to dwell on sometimes
after going through challenging life events.
After landing safely on the other side
and as we take note of the damages,
the losses and the disappointments,
we notice our growth.
We notice our human capacity to overcome adversity.
We notice the ways in which we came out of despair.
We might have been seated in deep sorrow
wondering about when the dark night would turn into a shiny bright day.
Our opened eyes illuminated the ceiling
while a deafening awakened silence consumed our time
with grief, pain and disbelief.
Thinking about how to fix the unspeakable,
wondering about how to heal another deep wound,
reflecting about what went wrong,
and how healing from this one,
seems like an uphill journey.
In the darkest nights, in which we succumbed
to our most feared emotions and our own truth
we judged ourselves based on our actions,
based on our dumb decisions and patterns
and it just seems like we do not know ourselves.
Thinking we do not deserve another chance,
unable to find the exit to a peaceful place,
we were surprised at being able to move on,
at contemplating the dawn transforming the dark night.
We were astonished at seeing the door opening
and the sunrise beaming at us as an invitation to freedom.
It was the light of hope shining through the door.
Kindness and compassion ran to our arms.
When we thought before we did not deserve the journey,
An inner voice kindly whispered,
“Go! Run and grab the opportunity to start over
and forgive yourself again.”
We now walk the path ahead
but looking back to the suffering,
picking up the pieces and putting them back in place.
With this new opportunity,
we hope to mend our selves with compassion and self-love.
We notice how much we have grown
and how much we have come to know ourselves better.
We think we did not need that past suffering and despair to grow.
We claim we do not want the pain to cross our paths again.
However, it has been present in our lives
and for that, it deserves to be embraced and acknowledged
as part of our journey.
And as we put the pieces together,
the great and not that great,
the Better Self with our dear Inner Dark Side
we get to know ourselves better:
our weaknesses and vulnerabilities,
our power and strength,
our fragility and destructibility,
our inner healing capabilities and greatness.
We get to know ourselves
and we get to love ourselves better.
We get to find ourselves
and we get to take care of our Wounded Self better.
We get to acknowledge all of us
without minimizing, denying, hiding, nor fragmenting
those parts we wish not belonged to the Self.
Because now we know… better
Now we know… ourselves
Now we know.
“I am strong because I know my weaknesses.
I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws.
I am fearless because I learnt to recognize illusion from real
I am wise because I learn from my mistakes
I am a lover because I have felt hate
and I can laugh because I have known sadness.” ~ Ziad K. Abdelnour
Merari Fernandez is a native Puerto Rican woman, who has found in writing the power of healing herself and the world. Encouraged as a child to put her mind into writing by her grandmother, she has found it beneficial when she cannot find the spoken words and when she has something important to say that can shake someone’s perspective. She is a therapist in private practice in Chicago, and has devoted her life to work with survivors of abuse as well as with any suffering human being who has come to her for support and help. She loves Yoga, animals, the sun, the moon, the sea and the forest and anything that claim to be alive. Although, she feels deeply connected to her past ancestors. She continuous finds new ways to be present with her current life and is open to what life brings to her.