you & me

Flow In Daily Life: Be Willing To Get Willing.

We know that feeling, that energized focus, that total involvement, and streaming joy in what we are creating, so what gets in the way?

Sometimes it’s helpful to think about flow as the natural stream of energy within us moving around without anything in its course.

What is the resistance that gets in the way of flow in our day-to-day experience? Why do we need to talk about it?

I remember a time, about 18 months ago, when I was in the middle. In the middle — of having finished what felt like, at the time, one big chunk of a life, a job, a house, a place, a relationship… all within a few months. And I was wondering what I was still doing there.

In fact, I asked myself this question every day for weeks, then every hour, then what seemed liked every few minutes, until all I could feel was a big weight sitting underneath my shoulder blades and forming a tight stretchable rubber band in my jaw.

Each of us has our own version of this — this personal outrage at the experience of life being chaotic and unpredictable. Why is it like this? Where is what I want? Why isn’t it here yet?

Why is there this huge gap between what I just destroyed (purposefully or not) and what I want to create, that feels like the uncomfortable wet material against my skin when I’ve just been out in the rain without my umbrella and I’m sitting in my soggy pants pressing on the seat beneath me on the long bus ride home.

Resistance, really, is anything we do to prevent us from going deeper into ourselves. It is a natural feeling, because most of us are afraid of really being who we are, at the deepest, most fundamental level of essence.

“When I argue with reality, I lose — but only 100% of the time.” ~ Byron Katie

Have you ever found yourself saying, “I really don’t like this, it needs be different.”

Thinking that you’re having the wrong experience, to quote Katie Hendricks, is the quickest way to make yourself go crazy. We are, in essence, at that moment, arguing with reality. We think we know better or should feel better or different. Energetically, you’re saying to the Universe, “I don’t agree.”

At that moment, whenever I remember to do so, I take a breath and simply say to myself, “This. This is how it is. I’m willing to love myself for everything that happened and everything that didn’t happen, and more often than not I may not be willing at that moment, but I can be willing to get willing.”

This is an act of faith in some respects. It forces us to let go of what we know, and be willing to have the Universe present us with a different perspective or solution, one that we may not have conceived or thought of from our current awareness.

From there, it can lead us to a bigger letting go of what we think we know about what is happening or the judgments we are having about our current experience. Once we are willing, the next step is to wonder how we can open up a space inside to wonder about the deeper aspects of our current situation.

Self-discovery exercise

Ask yourself the following questions, and see what comes up, as an initial exploration:

* Am I resisting my current experience?

* Am I flowing with what wants to happen?

* What would my life look like free of resistance?


VandanaVermaVandana Verma is passionate about transformation and helping people create shifts in their lives. She has completed a two-year leadership and transformation program with the Hendricks Institute and has trained with them since 2006. She is also a certified Conscious Living coach. Vandana started her career as a medical research scientist and as a faculty member at the University of Michigan, and is now happily directing people towards their most fun, creative selves as a coach. You can find her at Inside Wisdom Coaching.


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