Sisters, We Need Each Other.
Today I had this sick desire to want to spit on someone’s success. To make fun of it, put it down, make it seem small and petty, like nothing that special.
I am sickened by this. This is because I have been taught to do this implicitly by female mentors in my life. I have been taught to feel insecure, be competitive, and feel small, especially if someone else is achieving greatness. I have been taught to cut someone down instead of building them up.
So often female mentors seem to be unkind to the sensitive, the compassionate, the giving, or gifted. I have very often received destructive criticism, been ignored, iced out, told to shut up, that I’m too much, overreacting, less important than someone else, not to believe in myself.
I wept as one of my first supervisors in graduate school brought me to the place where I almost left my soul’s work believing I was not good enough. A beloved female mentor and professor of mine quickly took this supervisor’s side, crushing my spirit further.
This dismissive cruel energy I’ve found elsewhere. I’ve had dear female friends fall off the face of the earth without explanation, to find out months later, from begging them for clarification, that they secretly resented me for something I did. Others tried to use me, or bully me.
Others just simply came on real hot and excited to be my friend, and then disappeared in the matter of weeks.
Women, why do we do this to each other?
Why do we put each other down?
Why do we cut each other out, without a second thought?
Why do we hurt each other, without apology or remorse?
It is not the men who are stealing our power, holding us down. It is us. They couldn’t do anything to hurt us if we stood by each other, held each other’s hands. If we walked in, instead of away, in our time of need.
Women, we must love and nestle the goddess in each other, lean in to her, love her, laugh with her, be awed by her beauty, and try not to destroy her. We must let go of the jealousy, as it steals our lifeblood and dulls the beautiful light we create in the world.
We must stop this, this belief that only some of us get to be all powerful, all creative, all beautiful. That somehow there is not enough joy to be passed around. When we get this joy, we get to enjoy it more by sharing it with each other, not hiding it away.
The truth is, if we get a high by putting other women down, making fun of them, hurting them, we will amount to nothing. The work we do in the world will be limited to a very small group of people who believe exactly like we do, and eventually that crowd will dwindle. For no one likes to feel less than, when they start to get better.
No one wants to be treated like a victim when they know they have so much more for them in the world.
This is the mother wound of the earth in throbbing full force. It is the part of us that feels threatened by the strength of another woman, instead of inspired, encouraged, held. The part of us that does not befriend, love, and support other powerful beautiful women.
The part of us that feels comfortable and safe being the most beautiful one in the room, or in a group of friends.
Let us love each other by first healing our collective mother wound. By healing this wound, and becoming our own loving gentle mother, we will be able to shower love on the women in our lives. When we take that role that we have so desired from our mothers, we get to stop resenting them.
We get to accept that they are human, just like us, just like everyone else. Only then will we be able to be truly authentic, compassionate, and supportive of each other. Otherwise we’re acting out our anger on each other, without realizing it or meaning to.
Our mothers taught us how to love each other, taught us what is acceptable and what is not. It is time that we stop blaming them for our downfalls, and stop elevating our fathers. As that is the other side of this mother wound: father/male worship.
It is favoring, looking to, or craving validation from the male in order to feel sound in our soul.
We see this running rampant in society: society protecting, praising, and favoring the male ego through blaming the victim mentality, seen in cases of rape and abuse. By how we treat our female vs. male leaders, constantly trivializing a female politician’s standpoint.
Women will fawn over and seek a man’s praise, and put their relationship with this man above and beyond their relationships with each other. Let’s do a collective shift away from belittling the female energy, into honoring it with our entire being.
It is time that the critical, demanding, condemning energy be absorbed back from where it came, and in its place, we open our arms to each other, laugh, dance, and delight in each other’s incredible power.
I’ve been given the gift of becoming part of a community called Wild Feminine Un.Leashed. For the first time in my life, I am a member of a truly loving authentic female tribe. Everyone is incredibly beautiful, talented, whole, and completely open about who they are and what their struggles and triumphs are.
In everyone’s moments of weakness and vulnerability, we are showered with complete love, reminded of our power, reminded that we belong. I have never been privy to such a powerful female energy, as well as such a loving female leader, Alexandra Schueler, who has been gifted the gift of divine maternal love.
She is such an incredible force for truth, beauty, and female power. She never makes fun of those in the group, or makes them feel stupid or small. She treats all women as her beloved soul sisters. No one is more important or beloved than the next.
She is constantly fueling our fires, showing us our power, reminding us of our love. And because of this love, she sets the pace and makes true female friendship so easy, so real, and the only thing that is accepted within our walls. She is changing my life.
This is what our world needs more of: soulful women falling in deep adoration of each other. Loving each other’s bodies, not telling each other to cover up. Loving each other’s thoughts, not telling each other we are wrong. We do not have to work hard for each other’s support.
Instead, we stand adoringly on the sidelines, cheering each other on. Saying out loud:
She is a warrior.
She is a goddess.
She is simply one of the most beautiful people I have ever met.
She is a force of nature, rocking my world.
She is everything I hope to be, and I’m in awe of her strength.
She is changing my life.
She is amazing.
She is on fire.
She. Is. Woman. In the purest divine sense.
I beg of you, my sisters, dig deep and find that well of love and sweetness that we all possess. Once you do, no one, nothing, can ever, ever, make us break, ever again.
This time, let us stand together.
Maria Palumbo continues to expand every day, learning to love the wild, terrifyingly beautiful life outside of the box. Shifting from psychotherapy to the world of sensuality and self-care, Maria is creating a new way of healing for all women. She is excited to teach the art of self-seduction that she has learned through the years from falling in and out of love with her own body. Now she is in love for good and there is nothing quite as satisfying. Follow this delicious romance and connect with her on Facebook, Instagram or her website.