Uncontrollable Change, Infinite Choices: Don’t Live Life On The Sidelines.

You’re crazy! they said.

Who do you think you are? they asked.

How are you gonna manage that? they inquired.

Do you know what that costs? they queried.

Shaking their heads in disbelief, inquest turns to unsolicited advice.

And stories of warning.

You should really do this, they say.

I knew someone like you once, they share.

Then they came to their senses, they add.

Luckily, I didn’t listen to them. Well, at least not always, and not forever. Eventually, their rhetoric and warnings only served to strengthen my resolve to tiptoe to the edge of the unknown and plunge into possibility.

It was deeper than expected, and rougher than imagined. Thrashing around, flailing to find something familiar to cling to, and crying uncontrollably, inconsolably.

There were times I thought they were right, after all. Quitting became a serious consideration. Yet each time I found myself on the precipice of giving up, a voice would steer me back to my original course.

Sometimes a caring friend, a loving family member, or the sweet sound of my soul, would whisper Keep going.

And I did. As time passed, the tears dried. The unfamiliar became familiar. Dreams became reality. Life felt lighter without the fear and judgments from others.

Walking the path, I came to more precipices, more edges leading to new and exciting, yet terrifyingly unknown, possibilities.

I jumped, again and again. Splashing in the waves of dreams and doubts, fears and failures, love and laughter, and the pure magic that accompanies life.

Unexpected waves of loss hit me hard, washing away the foundation of all I valued in life. By this time the volume of my soul had been turned up so high that  I knew I had to keep going. Reassess. Rebuild. Rebalance.

Discover the possibilities amongst the wreckage. After so many leaps, I was well equipped to uncover joy and love buried within the destruction.

When I happen across any of them now… Oh, you did it? Must have got lucky. Must have had secret resources we didn’t know about. Must be nice, their tone dripping with indignation and tinged with envy as they had always stayed ashore in their own lives.

The only difference between us is that I made a different decision. And I kept making it. Over and over.

My time on the shore taught me,

Nothing is sadder than living a life on the sidelines,

Holding dreams and desires prisoners in the heart,

Handing out advice.

Those who heed it are holding back their brilliance,

Reining it in, detaching from and

Dampening the internal fire.

You came here to burn bright and shine your light.

Change. It happens. Sometimes in gentle waves, making such gradual changes that the tiny nuances are not noticed until one day, upon waking, the realization hits: Everything is different.

Other times change rages in a tsunami. Terrifying in its wrath to release all that is known, carrying one off to a new world, surrounded by uncharted territory in every direction.

Uncontrollable. Change, that is. No one escapes it.

Some stay forever stuck in the pain of change. Moaning about the unfairness of it all. The tragedy. The horror. How the memory of heartache will forever be buried deep in the heart. Dark, damp, cold sadness.

It’s what is returned to daily. The scab ripped off each morning for fresh blood to bleed through the present moment.

Always crying at the rain of yesterday, missing out on today’s sunshine. Days, years, and decades of sunshine. All sadly gone unseen.

The gentle waves of change still lap at the feet of all. The tsunamis still come and wreak havoc on the safety of the shore.

The pain, the unfairness, the tragedy, the horror, the heartache exists for us all at some point.

And the sunshine exists for all too.

Then there is this moment.

Always here. And here. And here.

The present.

A gift to choose.

To stay stuck picking the scab, or to get up and marvel at the miracles and feel the sunshine all over you.

Again and again, you choose, each moment.

That, my dear, is the only thing that will never change. Infinite choices are yours to make.


AimeeDuFresneAimee DuFresne is a Joy Catalyst and soul-shifting creator, coach, traveler, and latte-lover. She offers online guided JOYrides for women ready to shed the sh*t and shine their soul fully and brightly. She gently guides women to declutter mind, body and soul and embrace their true power. Also the proud author of Keep Going: From Grief to Growth, Aimee and her husband packed up their Prius in 2014 and have been traveling the country speaking, housesitting and petsitting ever since, continuing to spread JOY wherever they go. You could contact her via her website.


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