Don’t Rush Away The Unworthy Woman.
You can’t escape her
You can’t run from her
She’ll find you
… she’ll hum song-lines over your skin and watch you shiver
She’ll pull at every sore and bleeding God-hole you hold
She’ll make you crawl the walls of your own heart
… the unworthy woman.
Unworthiness is not a disease that needs a cure. She is a woman who simply misplaced her truth along the journey.
She stopped off and left her jewels by the stranger’s bedside table. She threw her river maps into the hands of the mistrusted. She is sacred land.
Don’t rush her away.
She is the shadow of truth, and she will enter your life through a series of events and experiences holding a letter that reads…
I’m here to unite the unhurt with the hurt. I’m here for you to feel me. I’m here to liberate you. I’m here to watch you bleed out. Stop berating me. Without me, you are river-less, empty and incomplete. Feel me. Listen. Do what I say.
Don’t rush me away…
Hold no fear. All I ask is you open a window for me to hurl all the bones from my chest out of the window. Cut the cords. Bleed the truth. Open.
She is powerful.
She is painful.
… she’ll make no apologies for throwing you into the river of anger, resentment, and sadness. You’ll spend hours, days, years and lifetimes following her song-lines. You can’t drown out her scream.
She will find you and destroy everything beautiful within and around you until you hear her — until you feel her. Don’t cut her off because what you feel is ugly and unpleasant. Stay with her like you would for a child in need.
The unworthy woman is a force, an energy, a song-line. She’ll hurl your into exile, desert, and silence. She’ll wrap you up in shitty newspaper, and watch you drift down the river screaming. Ruthless. However, without her, we have this deep yearning for a deeper life. Without her, we’re colorless.
She is a shadow. We need her like night needs day.
We must adhere to her call. Listen to what she has to say without thinking of a plan to rid yourself of her unpleasant arrival, or is it just me that does this?
The truth is, she doesn’t need to be healed. She is the healer. She doesn’t need to feel good. All she needs is space to feel the darker murky waters. She needs to howl. She needs to curl her soul under the night sky. She needs to scream in the forest. She needs to sway her hips.
She needs to tune into her truth.
She needs to rid herself of all the unsent letters stuck to the roof of her mouth. She needs to empty her chest at the root of an old wise tree. Allow.
And remember, the unworthy woman living within is the ledge into liberation. She will propel you into radical self-love. Her scream is the ledge we stand on right before we fall into authenticity, wholeness, vulnerability and love.
She holds a chunk of soul. When we deny her arrival, we shut a part of our power down, and we run like a skinny withered wolf without instinct. We run with no kill to feed our cubs.
I’ve spent years berating, judging and silencing this great woman within me. I tried to kill her off. I tried to workshop her into silence. I hit her with positive affirmations. Fuck — I did it all. Nothing worked.
She remained, and so did the resistance and the unsettling pain that echoed within my bones. Fuck — it hurt to breathe. She is ruthless when getting your attention.
I feel you when you ask…
How do we soothe her when we’ve exhausted everything?
Why is she still screaming within me even though I’ve attended all the workshops, courses, booked into all the practitioners and healers, yet I still suffer?
All I can say is…
… you must give her the medicine she craves…
Give her a wise old tree. Give her an ocean. Give her a blue moon. Give her space. Express her. Move with her. Give her the gift of acceptance, and she will do the work for you.
She will prepare you for the arrival of love. She will carry your soul-bones to the water. This great storm of woman only lives skin deep in each of us. You can’t fight her or heal her into remission. She is the other you.
Believe me when I say… allow her to be. Allowance will open a floodgate of rushing acceptance through your veins. Acceptance is incredibly powerful, the way it glues you back to the sun and moon. I call that a miracle.
The truth is, the unworthy woman is a journey into soul-life. She is an invitation into deep self-love.
Don’t rush her away…
Pia White is a Soulful Seeker, Writer, Intuitive Mentor and Artist who has traveled far and wide within both the inner and outer landscape. Her life path has been devoted to exploring the emotive strings that created her chaotic and soulful experiences in life, sharing these heart felt entanglements with others through creative expression, mentorship and storytelling. Her life has been full of adventure, chaos and delight. You will find her eating tahini out of a jar with carrots, meditating under trees, and stalking the ocean shoreline seeking the wisdom. She is learning to be unapologetically herself. You could contact Pia via her website, Instagram or Facebook.