The Relative Lightness That Surrounds.
6 a.m. in the morning and I roll over, only to notice the glimpses of faint light coming in from the French doors that lead to my small environs.
It’s a good place, a quaint basement that’s been remodeled and fairly self-sustaining. I’ve been here for way over a year. I have only two pairs of real shoes and a free-standing clothes rack that houses maybe 30 hangers at the most.
One small dresser, a futon that keeps my back healthy and allows enough room for both my pup and I to sleep comfortably, this is the material side of everything now. There are plenty of shells and feathers, and crystals and candles to keep my heart intact, my spirit driving forward, and this simple self of mine to feel balanced.
Each month that ticks away, I find yet another few items to lighten my load and donate to the less fortunate, and each trip to the nearest homeless shelter or donation bin, I am lighter in all that I have and all that I have come here to do.
It is often funny to me how a simplification of life changes from season to season, and with each passing year that I’m here on this fine planet of ours. The longer any indecision plagues me, the more I prolong the importance of graceful endeavors. All of that has morphed now, the complicated scenarios of living and being.
When nature is permeating within my veins and soul, I take one glance outside and stretch my arms so wide they could easily extend from one end of the room to the other. That’s how willing and open I have become. I always felt that I had it down pat as to the comings and goings of my heart.
It is such a balancing act between the mass where my ears hang and what is housed above my ribcage. Tender and surefooted are some things that have to be worked on every moment I look in the mirror and notice a new crinkle on my face or a different way my skin hangs.
I gently fondle the person I am, because it’s exceptional to feel in a body that never gives up. Is it anywhere near perfect, or was it ever? Not in the slightest. The only chemistry that makes the heart beat and the brain think is the shedding that I now embrace.
I gather more items to give away. I glance through old photos and memories of where I have been, who I was, and how I felt. I then secure the flat plastic memorabilia crate under my bed. The likelihood of a revisit is not high on the priority list. I have lived those lifetimes.
I have experienced the heartaches, the highs, the lows, the vacations, the lands, and the dynamics that took me from one scenario to another. The proverbial beam shining within is all together something new.
The breaths that I take first thing while sitting on an old plaid two-seater couch covered with a blanket for my pup are about the most vital moments of each 24 hours.
The doors are flung open, the crows are talking, with their conversations intermingled with those of the songbirds and doves, a gentle breeze hangs in the air, and no words are spoken. Even my precious canine is still asleep under the covers. He gets it.
This is my time to check in with the sounds and rhythms of nature, a time to unmask what is truly inside my bones, a time to accept and allow, and 15 minutes or so before life unfolds and remains calm and fairly collected. I cherish it. I bless it. I often cry tears of gratitude for how the unfolding of each day can be.
I made this relinquishing of material stuff happen. Was it easy? From the onset, I had an internal battle with a need versus a want, so no, it wasn’t a cakewalk. There are too many beautiful human souls to thank for the spring in my barefoot stepping.
As one door slams shut, several others open just a tiny slit, then more and more ajar, and the waiting and patience of a full-blown entrance finally pays off and has its merits.
The surrounding energy is both familiar and forgiving. No two days are ever the same. The sun rises, the sun sets, the moon becomes new and circles to fullness, a life well-lived.
The sea is nearby, bestowing its continual gifts that bring me joy, and whatever has been laden on my heart and soul is magically washed away when my pup and I spend time there. Nothing lingers too long that is heavy or dark. I have chosen a different way.
The internal roadmap that led me to how I choose is a celebration of the best kind.
After a day full of all things wellness for ourselves and others, my love-of-a pup and I say our prayers and worship the surroundings, for this is our true way of keeping the lightness inside and also emanating whatever magic we can muster to the outside world. Simplicity of spirit does a body good.