It Is My Own Wonderful Life, And I Would Rather Be Quirky.
Placed in a close gene pool, how do you fare?
As last year’s Christmas festivities came to a close, I was confronted, once again, at how I do not fit the mold. I found myself once again standing in my parent’s garden on their notable anniversary, being spoken to by a woman (who I later found out is related to my mother) and being told that I had experienced rather a lot of bad luck.
You see, family and I do not always sit comfortably together. We are invited guests that initially find out that we have something in common, stutter on other subjects, and are then glad to say goodbye. Except with family, your presence is embedded. There is no running away from that guest!
Let’s go back to the woman at the anniversary party. I stood there talking to her — the daughter of the hosts, festooned to the nines and with a smile on my face. Nobody else would have known my history, yet, family holds my past close to their chest.
Forget the mantra: “Don’t ever use someone’s past against them.”
As one of my friends says, she only does normal. So, I suppose, there is my answer. Observationally, I know that normal is the daughter who is worshiped and accepted — flaws and all — by everybody (the girl who is firmly rooted in her hometown or someone who has turned their life around for the good). That certainly is not me.
I cannot maintain popularity. In fact, I would rather be my quirky self. I cannot pretend to get on with everyone without questioning my sanity.
And in the meantime, I am still searching for the answers — rewriting and editing myself, seeking advice when necessary to make me strong.
It is my own wonderful life, and although I do not disregard the value of family, I only have fleeting moments with them now. My best times are yet to come and somehow, I think they will be with like-minded creative people, who have had to heal and have had to struggle to find their place in this world.
Goodness knows, I have traveled 300 miles to find my voice. And if normal makes you popular, what can being alone bring? Be gracious, do not antagonize those who may mean well, start your life when you have this clarity!
My family, surely, is what I love: my partner, my dog, my friends, my environment and what maintains my well-being.
I am lucky to be alive, things may have gone out of kilter at times, but I have always had the courage to work things through and to fight to make my voice heard.
Take stock of the mistakes, bad luck that comes your way because one day, you will have a defining moment, where everything falls into place and makes sense to you. Do not keep going around the same roundabout time and time again with family!
Seek your solace, and know when to take this route and when not to.
Keri France is a sensitive and strong soul, who believes in the power of creativity for personal growth. Originally a southerner, she has returned to live in Manchester, after 19 years, and has found a new confidence since her relocation.