Risky Choices: What’s The Right Thing To Do?
This question is the one that keeps most people paralyzed.
You would choose action over comfort zone if you only knew what to do, right?
Like in a haze, you hesitate, dread, analyze, have snacks, and turn to Netflix.
To convince your mind to drop the fear, and implement the change that would finally help you breathe in some fresh oxygen, feels impossible.
How the hell do you know what’s right?
Trap #1: Often you call it the right thing, but what you really mean is the perfect thing.
Perfect, as in, you gotta have it all figured out, with all pros weighed against the cons, and a plan that makes sense.
That way, you’d move forward on your path with grace and ease. No stumbling, no torn knees and bruised elbows. Inbuilt zero-failure guarantee.
That would be ideal, as your mind and your ego would be relaxed and in control, they would be on your side.
You wouldn’t look silly, you wouldn’t feel pain, you wouldn’t invest time and energy in the wrong thing. You’d be smart and efficient. You’d be safe.
Since you’ve got a strong survival instinct and made your fair share of mistakes, this would pretty much sum up what you needed to know to choose the right thing: perfect conditions.
The road to happiness and success. No judgment, and being damn sure you’ll make it, and look good while you do so. Oh, and last but not least: the right thing would be easy, because easy just feels right.
You’re loved by the Universe (you totally want to believe this), so if the Universe loved you, it’d throw the goodies at you and make sure you’re having a great time on this planet, right?
Um, yeah. Except… No.
Trap #2: You compare, or allow being compared.
That’s deadly. Not only do you actively engage in comparing your options and choices with what others do, but you often allow them to judge, criticize and give you advice.
Know this: nobody except you knows what’s right for you. The benevolent people in your life can share their wisdom and experience and resources with you, but their path is different from yours.
All they have to offer is a different perspective — which can help tremendously to get you out of your funk, so you can start believing in your ability to create something different, a life that you love, a living that’s sustainable, relationships that are meaningful, nurturing and inspiring.
But ultimately you’re the one behind the wheel, you’re the one in charge.
The flip side of having outside inspiration that you can compare your status quo with others is this: there are also more than enough people who don’t have your best interests in mind…
… who distract themselves from their own fucked-up lives by telling you what would be best for you. They are often trying to apply societal standards and concepts, have their own small-minded expectations and opinions, and judge you if you don’t fit in.
Usually those who judge you are very far from having their own shit together. Instead of gaining clarity, many times you feel even worse and more confused. Fact is, you actually know and have your own pace and ways of navigating life.
You will fuck things up, you’ll fail. Promise.
But failure is a tricky concept. If you look back, often your failures propelled you right into the next phase in life that made you grow from the lesson.
It’s only failure if you look at it from a negative and critical point of view. It’s actually a lesson. And it just feels like it’s gone wrong, because the outcome wasn’t what you expected.
Yes, you are loved by the Universe. But as in every relationship, the deeper the connection, the more potential there is for getting hurt really bad, and being given the choice to work things out…
… to grow together instead of apart.
And the Universe loves courting. It wants to pour all its love out over you, but it also appreciates you romancing it.
Showing that you love it too. You’re the Universe in a tiny human body, a miniature version of this vast divinity. If you don’t show the Universe some love, it’s like you don’t have love for yourself.
The two of you aren’t only connected — you are it and it is you.
So, if you decide to open up to it, to receive and savor what it has on offer, trusting that this is exactly what you need to grow, you’ll be amazed how things start changing for you.
There are forces in the unseen that are dying to conspire to your thriving, that want nothing more for you than having your deepest desires fulfilled, to feel happy, healthy and loved.
Tough love is part of it too. Of course.
And you mistake the Universe’s tough love for bad luck, or for being doomed to suffer and fail all your life.
There is a smaller version of those forces in you — your soul. And it wants the same things for you as the forces in the big picture.
You can keep being paralyzed and stuck, or keep running — which is the same, but in a more dynamic way.
You can keep waiting for abundance, healing and happiness to come to you, delivered express right to the doorsteps of your comfort zone.
But even if that happens from time to time — in the form of synchronicities, coincidences and windows of opportunity — You open the door. Or you don’t. You make an important step or leap. Or you don’t. It’s on you.
I’ve acted on such a window of opportunity when it opened up for me.
I connected with a man on the other side of the planet last year, and we decided we wanted to see each other, be together, like — for real, forever.
It had that taste of destiny, and there was certainly a ton of magic in play. So, we met, had a magical wedding ceremony after eight days, and lived together for 90 days straight.
It was super challenging. After that time, we broke up, he left. I was super disappointed.
We had sealed our bond by mixing our blood, our DNA. That’s huge, you know… I felt like an idiot, like my heart would benefit from having a brain or shut up altogether.
Now, you may ask, “How did it turn out, where are you at with him now?”
I’m still connected with him, will always be to some extent, because once I love somebody, they’ll always be treasured in my heart, no matter what happened.
It still is an up-and-down, yes-and-no, on-and-off.
In the end, love remains. No resentment, disappointment, hurt or anger endures through time and space. Love does.
I don’t regret anything I did.
It was kind of crazy, yes. I wouldn’t recommend it. In the above process, I surely regretted a bunch of things. But in the aftermath, I’m grateful and deeply connected in love.
No matter how I move on in life, no matter the upset feelings and intensity (which, by the way, kind of fuels me, I’m twisted like that) — I’ll cherish the open heart that I was met with, and how my heart responded by sinking deeper into love and understanding.
I don’t give a f*%k about the opinion and judgment of others.
It was my choice. Of course I sometimes — okay, many times — doubted whether it’s the right thing to do, the right person to be with…
… but my heart screamed, “Yes, we need this! We love him! Don’t even think of not connecting!” And it’s brought so much growth and healing for the both of us.
All I feel is love and gratitude, if I put my ego aside, that occasionally wants to complain and rather point out all the things that sucked — which is okay and normal too, just don’t let it run the show.
Don’t be afraid of doing epic shit. Don’t be afraid of looking silly.
If you want to have your life’s purpose figured out first, or know how to build a six-figure-business in three months, you’ll keep yourself trapped.
If you need your soul mate or Twin flame by your side before you can muster the strength to start becoming alive, you have my condolences, because that won’t get you anywhere — ever.
It’s your life, and it’s about you. You’ve got the fucking Universe’s signature etched onto your soul! There are tons of love, power and courage right inside of you, waiting for you to tap into them.
No such thing as the right thing. There are only options, and life is way easier if you take them. See them as experiments instead of exams.
The only thing that’s pretty much always valid and helpful is this: keep moving, even if you’re scared. Listen to that whisper inside. Get clear on what you really want. Ask for help.
Without knowing what you want and without acting on it, you won’t get anywhere.
If you tell me, “But I don’t know, and I don’t have this inner voice!”…
… I got news for you: you do know, and you do have that inner voice.
But you also have such loud and distracting patterns and habits in play, a perfect system of numbing the shit out of yourself.
There is a way that works even if you’ve numbed yourself to the point of almost being unconscious: pay attention to the dream or vision or desire that keeps coming back, no matter how you try to suppress it, fight it and push it away — this is the golden GPS data of your soul.
And don’t tell me, “But what if it’s not good for me? That probably won’t be the right thing!”
I say it again: “No such thing as the right thing” — there’s not just one right thing to do. Actually, no matter what you do, it will be the right thing, as long as you make a conscious choice and follow through by acting on it.
If you don’t try, you’ll never know. And if you don’t move, you’ll never arrive somewhere new.
Try something new, follow that crazy thought, let your heart lead the way — you’ll only grow from it. I don’t say it’s going to be pleasure and joy galore, but you’ll grow.
So you gotta make a choice: Do you want to stay comfortable and stuck, or do you want to grow into the life that your soul is singing about with an enchanting tune?
Lina Boldt is a seeker, mentor and writer. She has a Ninja-warrior survival record, and can often be found in the thick of deep transformational work, which made her gain quite some expertise in breakdowns and breakthroughs. Her current mission is all about surrender, and she can’t live without chocolate. You can connect with her via her website or Facebook, where she also hosts a group for rebels and messy souls.