Honor The Beauty Of Love.
You do not need another person to complete you. Do not pass on this incredible privilege and responsibility to someone else. Create a life where loving yourself becomes the most beautiful god-damned love story you’ve ever known.
You are not a failure if you are not in a relationship. Most people are not happy with themselves, so they are not happy in their relationships. Let’s be real.
If you’re in a relationship, and not happy with yourself or the relationship, you are not a failure.
Instead of looking for The One, be the one. Do the work to complete yourself so that you can choose to be with someone who compliments you — not completes you.
Someone who makes you feel connected in ways that you did not even know were possible. Who makes you feel intrinsically motivated to keep being the best version of yourself. Who inspires you to live a life that is your highest possible expression and truth.
Pain is inevitable, but it will be greater when you attempt to contain love into a society-shaped box. Love knows no bounds. You cannot control or tame love. Love is in your heart, and your heart is wild and free.
Forever love or forever relationships are the exceptions, not the rules. Yes, you may find one person who compliments you, whom you love and who loves you in return. One person whom you choose to stay with forever and who also chooses to stay with you forever.
A relationship where you commit to working through the hard times, to stand beside each other even in times of fear or doubt, and where you know that love goes far beyond the initial butterflies and first dates. This is beyond beautiful. And this is also rare.
If this is you, celebrate that incredible love and commitment as often as possible.
Be curious about your engrained views of love and relationships. It is likely you will meet many different people at different times in your life who you will develop feelings for.
Be careful of trying to contain your feelings into the society-shaped box of love, and letting the pressure of your expectations influence how you shape the relationship based on what you think should happen. Be open to what these feelings and experiences can teach you when you let them exist outside of containment.
Be brave enough to question your views so that you can experience life, love and relationships consciously. Just because you experience feelings for someone, it doesn’t mean you should be with them. Just because your relationship doesn’t have a label, it doesn’t mean it’s invalid.
Just because your relationship doesn’t look like a fairy tale, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Just because your relationship has ended, it doesn’t mean you have lost or wasted time. Just because you experience a break-up, it doesn’t mean that you have to feel bitter or angry.
If you are seeking love, connection, friendship, romance, a greater intensity of love, forever love, or anything in between — start showing up in every moment. Start being real with yourself. Start having real, raw interactions with others with no expectations of forever.
You are more likely to attract what you want by practicing vulnerability, embracing uncertainty, and living in the moment, rather than by hastily writing the script of your relationships before they have even unfolded.
If you have spent time avoiding relationships with others, please know that you are worthy of love and belonging. Know that others can be trustworthy and dependable. Know that if you are avoiding intimacy with others, you are avoiding something deep within yourself.
Know that we all find vulnerability scary, but without it, we cannot attain the love and freedom we are intrinsically desperate for.
Instead of buying a card covered in red hearts and flowers, write some words on a scrap piece of paper. Some words that express your love from deep within your heart. Some words that are so raw and true that they make you feel sick just thinking about them.
Some words that make you want to run and hide as soon as you write them down because you feel so exposed. Provide your lover this gift. Provide someone you love from afar this gift. Provide your friend this gift. Provide yourself this gift. Your own beautiful love story will begin, deepen or end here.
Honor the beauty of love by being curious.
Honor the beauty of love by being real with yourself, your feelings and your expectations of relationships.
Honor the beauty of love by learning to embrace the wild uncertainty of love, relationships and life.
Honor the beauty of love by listening to your heart.
Today, and every other day, honor the beauty of love.
Tessa Alexa Stanford is a fierce lover of love, life and herself. She is a role model of bold imperfection, vulnerability and self-expression. Tessa has begun her own personal groundbreaking ground-movement to co-create societies that value individual differences, emotional expression, and imperfection over perfection. After becoming disillusioned with the ‘Brain is master’ models of psychology she had been taught, she discovered the impact of self-worth on well-being, and the powerful combination of your brain, gut, and heart in navigating your self-worth battles. Check out her boldly imperfect breaking news, her daily blog, and her ground-movement at her website, Facebook or Instagram.