On Manifesting Money And Taming Egos.
We talk so much about gratitude and how showing gratitude can equate to abundance in our lives — an abundance of happiness, an abundance of love, an abundance of healthy relationships.
We never talk about gratitude and money. We never talk about what would happen if we took the time to tell money we were grateful for it.
Like a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a spouse or any loved one, it would probably show up more if we did. It would probably stick around longer.
We are all in a very personal, intimate relationship with money. This relationship, in particular, is complicated — hella complicated — but sure as hell worth figuring out.
My badass life coach, Janne Robinson, recently taught me a little about my worth and money. She challenged my relationship with my finances. What follows is what I learned from our conversation:
I’ve realized that money and I aren’t friends. We aren’t even co-existing. Because money and I have a history — a rough one.
Money hurt me when it didn’t show up. I watched it hurt my family. So, as a defense, I’ve gone and told money it’s not important to me and that I don’t need it in my life.
I grew up poor. That’s totally subjective. But where I grew up, I felt poor. I was taught that I didn’t need money, because that’s what people do when they don’t have any of it.
We put up the we-don’t-need-money-to-be-happy wall built on and by our financial instabilities. And I hid behind that wall. I still am.
Money is like an alcoholic parent who never showed up. When you spend enough time developing into a human without them, you’re hardened by the hardships their absence created.
You convince yourself you’re better off without them.
It’s a coping mechanism.
So my ego has been telling money to fuck its peace offerings for years. It’s been crouching behind the I-don’t-need-you wall too, like a little bitch — keeping its distance.
But we do need money.
I need money. Not exorbitant amounts of it, but enough to eat, to clean myself, to go to Yoga, to do things that feed my soul.
I need money to invest in my well-being and to create a positive energy so I can turn around and channel that into helping the people around me. I need some money to be my best self.
And if I really dig deep, my ego and I both know I need money. I just can’t forgive money yet.
You know when you’re mad at someone and your pride won’t let it go? You know when you just can’t find it in you to say, “I’m sorry, can we be over this already?” That’s where I’m at with this relationship. And I’m being immature.
Because I’m pissed.
Pissed that my father’s business went under. Pissed that I watched my parents declare bankruptcy. Pissed that I had to see my mother struggle. Pissed that I feel like a slave to my college debt. Pissed at the number my credit card bill reads.
I’m really fucking pissed.
Further, I’m angry with the people who money did show up for. I’m pissed at the people who had enough money to do what they wanted. I’m holding their opportunity against them, and dwelling on my own lack of financial freedom.
I’ve got a running list of every specific moment money didn’t show up. I carry it around in my pocket as a reminder of each time life kicked my ass and money wasn’t there to help.
I’m feeling butt-hurt.
I’m feeling bitch-slapped.
I’m feeling unworthy.
Aha. There is the issue!
I feel unworthy.
I feel unworthy because money didn’t choose me as a recipient at first. I’m feeling unworthy because it didn’t choose my family. Now, even if money wanted into my life, it wouldn’t be long before it was running in the other direction.
If a good man falls into your world, and you operate like you’re unworthy of his time and attention, he’s probably not going to carve out a permanent corner of his heart for you.
He’s going to walk away full speed, and he’s going to keep moving until he finds the woman who says, “This is what I deserve, this is what I am worth.” And then he is going to give that woman exactly that — more or less (ideally).
I want to be the woman who tells money, “This is what I deserve, this is what I am worthy of.”
Because I decide what I am worthy of. Just as you decide what you are worthy of.
And I attract things into my life by shooting rays of gratitude in their direction. I have the power to manifest good things into my life. Things like love, health, and even money.
It starts with approaching and addressing my relationship with money. And approaching it from a position and mindset of forgiveness and gratitude.
This week I am starting a mini project assigned by Janne. Walking in the wisdom of Louise L. Hay, my assignment is to tell money I’m thankful every time it shows up, and to make amends with the times it didn’t.
The goal is to stop asking more of it before I’ve even thanked it for what it’s already doing.
I want to create a space in my life that it wants to come back to and settle into. I want to show it I’m appreciative and worthy of its attention.
Just FYI: This translates into the raise you’re afraid to ask for. You are worthy.
You are worthy of a whole lot of things. You just need to believe that you are, and declare it to the Universe. Say it out loud, ask for what you need, and then show gratitude like a classy bitch.
In money’s case, thank it for putting food on your table, thank it for putting gas in your car, thank it for the roof over your head. Many of us work hard and still struggle to make ends meet, but if you have the above things, be grateful.
Thank money for how it has showed up, and stop hating on it for all the ways it hasn’t. Welcome it into your life and your home. Start treating it like an ally, instead of an enemy. Forgive it for not always being there and make it your friend.
Because If you can’t, it may go find someone more appreciative and receptive to settle down with.
Chelsey Reardon has a heart for truth and women who haven’t met theirs yet. She’s an advocate for coffee and conversation. She tries to speak like she writes — honest and with minimal F-bombs. She gives a shit about Yoga, body image, and self-love. She believes the sky is the limit, you just need to build the ladder. Follow Chelsey on Instagram or her website. She’d love to social-hang.