My Climbing Rope Binds Me To The Power Of Your Wild Heart.
My love, you are Mount Everest.
Some who dare climb to the heights of your frequency risk life and limb. Others — true athletes and adventurers — see just another mountain to be conquered. I, on the other hand, am an explorer, a seeker, not a conqueror.
I am not averse to hanging out with a few Tibetan Monks for tips on how best to find the inner strength to honor your majesty.
You have shown me that you cannot run up a mountain. The movements are strategic. Mindful. Measured. You have to learn to respect the formation for the grandeur of what it is, if you are going to have the will for another day… and another attempt. The closer you get to that summit, the harder it is to breathe.
You have to learn to slow down the heart, mind, and body in order to truly survive the journey upwards. In essence, you have to acclimatize yourself to the perils that the mountain has withstood for its entire lifetime.
If you ever ask a climber who’s made it to the top of Mount Everest what the journey was like, the standard set of responses usually include: “You have to respect the mountain. And the journey is less about it as much as it is in finding the strength and perseverance from within.”
Often getting to the top of that mountain is a bittersweet victory. A lifelong bucket list goal crossed off the list after years, and perhaps decades, of training. If you are lucky to make it to the top. The closer you get, the more perilous the terrain.
Sometimes I think it may have been easier to have been a tourist visiting your gates. Sitting on the sidelines with my Polaroid camera and taking a few photos. Or a visitor who perhaps paints a few pictures that they later sell on eBay as a reminder to others who sat at your feet.
But, sometimes if you are lucky like me, you feel the mountain’s soul, and its rhythm inspires yours. It is less about conquering the climb as much as it is respecting the virtues of knowing that very few visitors get a chance to have a conversation with its soulful summit. There’s a wisdom in the mountain’s loneliness for over a millennium.
The more I try to climb, the more I learn to respect the mountain. But dare I say, I have fallen in love with its virtues as well as every nook and cranny that has taught me a new lesson.
I have learned to love and appreciate those who have lived on my Mountain for a thousand years and their lessons of living in his shadow for generations. The legends… the myths… and even the many uncomfortable truths that resonate deeply within my own spirit.
A part of me feels a sense of immense gratitude for the beauty that I’ve cultivated within myself lying atop your bluffs and escarpments… as well as seeing the vulnerability of your jagged edges upon others.
Once in a while, I may come across another seeker… a journeyman. Someone who has their own reasons… or connection to you. My Mountain. I watch, observe, and perhaps may even bond with a few who have had an opportunity to explore the depths of your darkness and light.
Sometimes, the tragedy of greatness is getting stuck in a moment shared with you a decade before. Unable to climb, and unable to leave those moments they once lived behind. Despite knowing they no longer can survive in your wild.
While I sit patiently to learn the secrets for your climb, others rush in, and the welcoming nature of your reception often makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing. Learning. Training. Understanding. Loving. Feeling. Giving. Being patient.
When I felt that respect in my heart grow into love, I realized I had fallen deeply for my Mountain’s soul. A rare and very beautiful thing… and in a way, the wisdom I seek has been afforded irrespective of the climb to its peak. I know you are going to give me a brutal fight when I choose to climb higher than I am today.
Our souls are connected for eternity, and you have always known I wouldn’t want it any other way if I am to rise in my love and admiration for you and your respect of me. For I am the seeker who dares to rise and name you mine.
I shall climb higher until I must trudge through snow, and your unbridled terrain. The closer I get to your cap, the more of the insanity in its conditions that I feel. But I also have had a chance to witness stories… and moments that others blazing by never took the time to appreciate and grow within.
A strength your winds taught me. A gift to feel their vibrations and to listen to those forces within me. I carry your echo with me as a means to keep moving forward, even when the forces of nature blow me back. The snow turns to blizzards… and the isolation in that coldness would make any other woman give in.
The air gets thin… the higher I climb towards your secrets. The time spent amongst those who journeyed have told me this before, and how to keep from pushing too hard until I have nothing left to give you when I arrive.
These disciplined shamans have taught me about time and space, and the ability to summon the energy around me like magic in order to manage your grace. So that I may continue to ascend towards you… and within my higher self.
For me, reaching the top is about having that conversation with you as my Mountain. A moment of peace. Solitude. Serenity. Honesty. To whisper how we’ve made love to each other’s souls for years as I’ve climbed.
You will tell me how each step you’ve felt turned your stone heart into molten lava. How you’ve felt every scrape of your rubble under my fingernails… and held your breath with every perilous footing upon your edges where I held on by nothing more than a prayer to your soul.
In turn, I will tell you about the beauty of my demons getting baptized in your rivers. Building strength in my mind, heart and body to pull myself up when I fall down… and commit to your climb one more time. I will remind you of the honor in your mystery. The virtues in your solace.
I will speak about the light I brought to places where I spent time finding myself and playing with others in the innocence of your greenery. I will whisper the depth of my respect and the unconditional nature of my love for you. For the world you have given me by being nothing less than the unyielding landscape that you are… as you are.
I found peace in your hollows. Strength in your crevices. Balance along your edges. Intuition in your darkness. Fearlessness in your light. You see, my climb is necessary to inspire my Mountain to live on for another million years. To live the journey of its creation through my soul once more.
I shall help you find stability in your own footing so that you are able to inspire truths for generations to come.
My Mountain was born a million years ago from the depths of chaos and macro change. A rare magic born of a cosmic force colliding all the elements together… earth, wind, fire and water. Folklore says that the more powerful the force, the steeper the mountain becomes.
Thus, to understand your birth is to understand the perils that formed you. I am a seeker… I seek to know the vibrations of your soul. The journey within you resonates deeply within me, as that same force created me as well.
What gives you your impervious strength is the same tragedy that gives me the courage to find you in each lifetime.
The seeker is the opposite of her mountain. She strives to feel, witness and experience its wild without and within. The mountain, on the other hand, is absolute in its resolution. Grounded firmly in place. Entrenched. My Mountain has the power to rain chaos, and to command the energy that created it upon me.
As the explorer, I trust that what I seek… the mountain already is.
My love, I am fully aware that this hill I climb is just one pinnacle of many. There are a vast array of others to see once I rise enough where you will let me gaze atop your world and look out to the vast horizon that is fully you. I will learn in time that you were never a mountain.
You are a range that extends further than the eyes can see and the mind can comprehend.
For all the summits you possess, this is the way I was shown. It is the hardest of the climbs to be confronted for all those that one day bask in your grace. But, it is in many ways the most vast, awakened, expansive and breathtaking.
Once in a while, I have moments where I question why my soul had to connect with this unattained part of yours. Couldn’t I have been shown the way through one of your other lowlands or valleys where the others have always been given the freedom to play? Then I remember it is I who has the strength to journey this high.
That is why my soul was chosen. Because I can. You’ve always known that. And that is why your wind whispers across the skyline and into my dreams.
My soul needs to explore every part of your world. You. In order to embody the light and wisdom I have learned from every cavern you possess. You see, my compass seeks to know all of you because I have fallen in love with your soul. Every ridge… every gorge… every part of who you are… is home to me.
And I will risk dying a million deaths to have an opportunity to truly live at the edges of your terrain somewhere between darkness and light.
In turn, you will learn all of me. Every bump, bruise and narrow escape studied and lived along your slopes. You will make love to me with your rain showers… and I to you as my climbing rope binds me to the power of your wild heart.
Every step forward and every one backward is a lesson you deliberately choose to teach, so that we both may one day possess the strength necessary for our overdue conversation.
When I arrive, you will know that this journey was never to be about making it to the top or learning your secrets. It has always been about our souls learning to live together again as One.
V. Nicole Godin is a soulful creator of life and art, and a relentless seeker. A warrior goddess, philanthropist, empath and survivor, she is passionate about sharing meaningful conversations of the heart and soul through the timeless language of vulnerable truths. Those who know her well describe her as an inspired badass free spirit whose quest is to live authentically through the beautiful energy of those around her. When she isn’t riding motorcycles, meditating, mentoring or teaching, she is helping others find the strength to rise from within. You may contact Nikki via Instagram or Facebook.