you and me

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay.

It’s okay not to be okay.

It’s okay to fall apart.

It’s okay to let others in, to lean on them, to ask for support, and to be vulnerable.

Give yourself time to recover.

Give yourself time to grieve.

Give yourself all the time you need, for anything and everything that matters most.

The fastest way to feel better is to accept it when you’re feeling bad, and not resist it.

It’s only natural to resist feeling bad. It’s uncomfortable. We want to move on and fix whatever is causing us pain or discomfort.

But what if we can allow ourselves to sit with the physical sensations of that discomfort instead? What if we can learn something from it?

If we’re afraid of feeling bad, we’ll always be running from something. We’ll never be safe. Painful things happen. We can’t guarantee that they won’t. And we can’t outrun everything we’re afraid of.

It takes guts to stand still.

But dare to do just that. Dare to face things and find that you can cope with the uncomfortable. You can cope with pain. And you can move through it.

You don’t need to run from something you know you can face up to, and live with, otherwise you’ll always be running. You’ll never be done.

We live in polarities — good and bad — wanting as much of the good as possible, and as little of the bad. It’s only natural. But it’s also a very stressful way to live, because we’re not in control of everything that happens.

When living with the good and the bad, our lives are a constant roller coaster. We’re thrashed about high and low, sometimes unable to even enjoy the highs, for fear of being thrown back down.

What if we could aim for peaceful and centered instead, even amidst whatever is happening around us?

What if we can drop the labels of good and bad, and trust that every experience is happening for us, and not to us, and that it’s here to teach us something important? This is difficult to do, but freeing beyond belief.

If something is wrong, we want to fix it as soon as possible. We want the happily ever after. But the truth is, happily ever after can only ever happen on a daily basis. Joy can only happen in the present moment.

What if there was nowhere to get to? What if where you are right now is exactly where you’re meant to be? What if this is it? Because it is, and the sooner we fully realize that, the freer we’ll feel.

Stop looking for the endpoint and the finished product. It’s an illusion. Our lives will always be messy, and we’ll always have an array of experiences.

This isn’t depressing if we can realize that it’s all supporting us, and that it’s all helping us grow more fully into who we are.

There’s no rush to get anywhere.

Why not be here now no matter what you’re feeling?

You don’t have to hold it all together, even if you’re usually the strong one. You need to let go of trying to do that more than anyone. Try it out, even a little at a time, and notice that you’re still safe and you’re still loved when you fall apart.

You don’t always have to play a role for other people. You can allow them to support you too. You can show them the chinks in your armor. You can remove the armor altogether.

It’s okay not to be okay. Breathe that in.

If you allow things to fall apart, you may just find something beautiful amongst the ruins.

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KellySalterKelly Burns is a UK-based writer specializing in women’s health and the mind-body connection. She writes for both print and online publications, working on a flexible and freelance basis. She also provides expert opinion to the media, and is the author of the Inner Jewel Weekly blog. You can get in touch with Kelly via her website and connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

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