poetry

Loving You To Pieces. {poetry}

It is hard to come to terms with love

that strange feeling you did not experience

nor felt when everybody else seemed to know it well.

That strange feeling you hear you were supposed to receive

but you feel like you never did

or at least you did not receive it enough.

That weird feeling others show to each other

but you do not even know how to be with.

That absurd feeling of noticing how others

like and love you more than you do to yourself.

That strange, weird and absurd feeling of love.

 

Wipe your tears away and see with more clarity

How love surrounds you

How love holds you

How love heals

 

Wipe your tears away so you can see love

At your doorstep waiting to be seen

Waiting for acknowledgment

Waiting for an invitation

from you to come in

 

Wipe your tears away and take a few breaths in

As you resist the idea of running away from love

As you plan your next clever escape

from loving yourself

As you sabotage yourself

again

in loveless temptation

 

Wipe your tears away and stay present with love

Create space to feel the love from others

Very deep within

breathe in love

 

Stay with it, get to know it, feel it

Feel its flavor and texture

Feel its intensity and generosity

Feel the way back to sanity

By the way of the love you deserve

 

Resist the fear of love

I wonder about those who taught you to fear it.

I wonder about those who taught you this bad lesson.

Tell me who were those who didn’t understand love?

Who said you didn’t deserve it?

And, please, grieve their lies of loveless love

 

Let yourself be loved by Life

Let yourself be loved by Earth

Let yourself be loved by Fire

Let yourself be loved by the Universe

Let yourself be loved by those

who have countless times proven to you

Unconditional Love

 

Wipe your tears away

every time you reject love

because you cry deep within

every time you don’t give yourself the chance

every time you whisper to yourself

that you don’t deserve it

in spite of having loved

and longed for love

 

You know betrayal and lies

You know defeat and shame

You know pain and sorrow

You know very well how it feels

When you aren’t loved

So your doors are closed to love

Since you are too busy with the familiar

loveless and fear

 

It can be painful to receive

that which is unknown

It can be terrifying to love life

with open wings

It might prove you wrong

again

about you not deserving love

And it might be right about

how much you are loved

And how much you have invested

in your own unworthiness

 

Wipe your tears away

and know it is going to be hard

but open your eyes and see a new reality

open your eyes and see that

See that

You are loved by many

You are loved to pieces

You are loved.

***

MerariFernandezMerari Fernandez is a native Puerto Rican woman, who has found in writing the power of healing herself and the world. Encouraged as a child to put her mind into writing by her grandmother, she has found it beneficial when she cannot find the spoken words and when she has something important to say that can shake someone’s perspective. She is a therapist in private practice in Chicago at The Healing Journey Psychotherapy, and has devoted her life to work with survivors of abuse as well as with any suffering human being who has come to her for support and help. She loves Yoga, animals, the sun, the moon, the sea and the forest and anything that claim to be alive. Although, she feels deeply connected to her past ancestors. She continuous finds new ways to be present with her current life and is open to what life brings to her.

***

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