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8 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Initiating The Midnight Talk.

So it’s late Sunday night, and you’ve had one of those weekends where things just didn’t feel right between you and your guy. You’re lying in bed next to him, wondering if you should say something. Here are a few questions to ask yourself before initiating the ever-popular midnight talk.

1. Is he already asleep?

Actually, never mind. If he’s awake, it probably means he’s worried about the relationship too. If he’s asleep, it’s still okay because he loves when you have conversations about your feelings. He won’t mind if you wake him up. You can probably skip to the next question.

2. Are you sure your brain hasn’t been hijacked by aliens for the past 48 hours? Is it possible that this is all something you have made up in your head?

Well, fair enough. I guess that’s true. If your brain has been hijacked, or you have been making up stories in your head, he should probably know… for his own safety. Skip to the next question.

3. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love drama? And when is the last time you had your fix of that in this relationship?

You know 10 is the highest, right? You seriously expect me to believe that you are at a 2? Okay, fine. Never mind.

4. Are you sure you’re not just feeling off because you haven’t exercised in five days (no, making your bed does not count as exercise), you had waffles for breakfast and pizza for lunch and a giant cheeseburger for supper, you watched that Ryan Gosling film for the 87th time, and you had three glasses of wine tonight?

No, you shut up. Whatever. Skip to the next question.

5. Is Mercury in retrograde or the moon full in Scorpio?

All I’m saying is that if you are dealing with that kind of astrological energy, this will not go well. Okay, fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Next question.

6. Have you been stalking his social media sites again?

Well, stalking might be a bit harsh. And I have no idea who Haylee is, or why she spells her name H-A-Y-L-double E. She’s probably just an old high school friend. Yes, she does have giant boobs, and no, I don’t know why she feels the need to show her stomach in every single picture. She’s probably super annoying in real life. Just forget I asked.

7. Is he asleep now?

That fake sleepy breathing thing? What are you talking about? But yeah, I guess you could be right. If he’s still awake, it is possible that he’s trying to think of a way to break up with you. But… just one more question.

8. Are you 100% sure that you want to do this now? Wouldn’t it be better to wait until morning? Make sure this isn’t just some feeling that will pass?

Fine, you might as well get it over with. There’s no point waiting. Tell him you need to talk.

There you go. Pretty much foolproof. I’m sure your guy will appreciate that you thought all of this through so carefully. You’re (both) welcome.

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wp-content-uploads-2015-01-andreabakerAndrea Baker has a Master of Arts degree in Counseling Psychology and once knew everything there was to know about Byron and Bundy. She is a certified Yoga teacher and ever-evolving student in Vancouver’s beautiful Yoga community. She has divided her life equally between Canada’s east and west coast … never living far from the sea. The ocean has influenced her writing, her Yoga practice, and her approach to life. She distrusts capital letters, loves sticking eka pada koundinyasana, and wishes she was just a tiny bit taller. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or her blog.

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