Assess Your Confrontation, Don’t Fight Back.
It’s good to get nailed to the cross sometimes, it really is. Confrontation is an excellent teacher, but it is uncomfortable, it can break us and it can be twisted.
I have found the only way to glean the wisdom for a potentially ugly situation is to rise above the intended arrows that are coming at us full speed — however, it is so very hard to be that Ninja Warrior.
It is doubly hard to defend our heart when the attacks are personal, and yet, if in these attacks (in the midst of the spewing anger) we can find discernment, grab it, hold it, we can then ask for guidance.
But how do we stand outside the contradiction, assault and criticism?
It isn’t easy, because we have an ego to deal with. Now this ego is not such a bad thing, it actually is a brilliant thing as it often stands sentinel over our heart. It is the protector, the guide, and the mischievous little imp that loves to taunt. But we must get a hold of it, look it in the eye, and tell it to chill when it is overactive.
Then we can attend to the issue at hand, and perhaps, I/we will learn something.
Is it real? Is it true?
The hard part is how to figure out whether or not there is any truth in the poison arrow — and if so, how do we digest it without hurting ourselves and someone else? More often than not, the little nastiness strewn about is meaningless, but the totality of the whole situation always, always has much needed information.
There is an underlying message, and the truth will in fact set you free.
Question it all.
Did you come from a place of love, or were you riding the offensive wave to only be caught up on the defense? I often find, when there is confrontation for my words or actions, that even my best intentions were (when I looked deeper) interrupted by some distant motive… and then I could completely understand why the arrows were shot.
They were to keep my head straight and my heart humble. Hello, ego check!
Here is where we get our wake-up call.
It is not advisable to fight back, that never works. What we can do is assess. Make the much needed attitude adjustment (on the self) and walk on. We can’t (and it isn’t our job to) try and persuade the marksman that we are not a target. They are on a mission to hunt our ass down, subdue us, and capture our soul if we let them. Don’t let them.
I made the mistake of not pushing away what I knew in my heart was tainted, and I let it go out of the mouth, off the fingertips, and the payoff? There wasn’t any. Duh. Lesson well learned… again? Gee, I just have to ask myself how many more times I am going to react, and more importantly, Why bother?
Here is a cold truth: things keep showing up until they have taught us what we need to know.
“Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretence. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” ~ Adyashanti
The bottom line is: Coming into our own, coming to meet our spiritual self, takes a lot of introspection. Not caressing the surface or dancing around the situation, but a deep, deep humble query into the things that flip the switch and make us crazy… then owning them!
As soon as we do that, we are defenders of the soul, wildly strong, and invincible against toxic arrows. They will still be launched, and they will still penetrate, but the immunity to the poison builds inside, and it is much easier to pull them out and heal the wounds.
Debbie Lynn is a mother, grandmother, artist, writer, dancer, yogi, rock climber, rock collector, and has been known to run with scissors. She is now sailing the West Indies with her husband on Indigo, their catamaran. She realized at a very young age that the outer reality was a far cry from her inner truth, and meeting her inner wisdom head on always turned into a challenge. The wonderment, curiosity and hypocrisy of life led to exploration and a cumulative documentation (art and journaling) of what she lovingly calls ‘the purge’. It is her way of ridding any negative energy from the daily grind. She says, “In essence, it is a way to start fresh and cleanse the soul.” Debbie has had numerous articles published in The Tattooed Buddha, Elephant Journal, The Edge Magazine, Sail Magazine, Multihulls Magazine and Simple Steps Real Life Magazine. Her daily posts can be found on Facebook.