Where Love Is, Fear Rides Shotgun.
I write a lot about love — finding it and losing it. Not just the romantic kind of love, but also the love you have for yourself, your life, your body.
I fall in and out of love with myself all the time. It’s a constant battle to choose everyday — to choose to fight to fall in love all over again. It’s something I owe myself. It’s something you owe anybody you choose to love and spend your life with. For me, it can be as simple as dragging my ass to a Yoga class or telling myself I love myself in the mirror (over and over again).
I’ve tried to pinpoint what makes us fall out of love with ourselves for brief moments on off days or for 364 of the 365 days a year.
I’ve tried (over and over again) to understand what makes us fall out of love with others. I’m still not sure I know the answer to that one.
A few of the articles I’ve had published have done pretty well. Each of them were about relationships in some capacity. Each of them about love. Love is the chosen topic of conversation a very large percentage of the time.
I’ve decided that there are two things — when you pick a conversation apart, down to its very foundation, down to its bare bones — there are only two things that people are ever really talking about.
One is fear.
And the other is love.
And a lot of the time, it’s hard to differentiate between the two.
Because we often fear what we love.
It’s pretty safe to say that what we fear the most is generally what we’re most meant to do. And what we’re most meant to do, is the thing that bring us innate joy. It is the thing that brings love into our lives.
And it’s because we love it that it’s important. And it’s because it’s important that it carries weight in our world. Whatever makes our heart beat, or whoever makes our blood flow, those are the people and the things we fear losing the most.
So, these two emotions, almost always, go hand in hand.
Where love is, fear rides shotgun.
But let’s clarify the difference, because both are powerful forces that will always, always be present in our lives.
Here’s some truth:
We lose because of fear, not love.
We hate because of fear, not love,
We question because of fear, not love.
Fear can make us stay when we’re supposed to move, it can make us leave when we’re supposed to stay. Fear can make us run. It can paralyze us. It makes things complicated. It is the thing that makes you question all yo’ shit. It can make us forget that we love ourselves. It can convince us that we don’t love somebody else. It can talk us into playing it safe when love is asking us to skip a little closer to the edge. Basically, it’s got the power to wreck good things.
On the other hand, love, in many circumstances, will make you stay. And that can be a beautiful thing. But love won’t ever make you run away. It won’t paralyze you or send you in the wrong direction. It won’t allow you to make excuses for unchased dreams or passions left unpursued. Love is an ally and a friend. It won’t ever make you feel like you’re not good enough, or pretty enough or worthy enough.
Don’t get fear and love mixed up. Don’t ever forget that fear is always going to show up to the party, no invitation needed. It doesn’t matter how strong you are, how put together, how particular you are when handing out the invites. Fear is going to tag along and muddle things up.
It’s going to tell you that you can’t.
It’s going to work its way into your daily conversations until it’s dominating them.
Unless you stop it.
You’re going to need to get up everyday and drag your ass to Yoga or tell yourself you love yourself in the mirror. Or choose to stay for love. Or choose to move for love. Or choose to leap for love.
Basically, you’re going to need to choose love.
You’re going to need to tell fear to take the backseat. You’re going to need to tell fear to sit down and shut up.
So, you buckle fear into that baby seat in the back, childproof the shit out of those windows, turn the music up, and go on a joyride because you’ve got this.
Because you own your journey, fear doesn’t.
Chelsey Reardon has a heart for truth and women who haven’t met theirs yet. She’s an advocate for coffee and conversation. She tries to speak like she writes — honest and with minimal F-bombs. She gives a shit about Yoga, body image, and self-love. She believes the sky is the limit, you just need to build the ladder. Follow Chelsey on Instagram or her website. She’d love to social-hang.