To All the Women Who Love Fiercely.
There comes a point and time in life when you realize it’s not your fault.
As much as you need to go through the emotions of trying to figure out what you could’ve done better, you realize that even your best wasn’t good enough.
That had you tried harder, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Not because your best wasn’t good enough, but because the person you wanted to give your best to wasn’t able to accept it.
So, as you’re sitting there, feeling like you’re back at square one, devastated, trying to pick up what’s left of you, you need to remember that you’re going to be okay.
It may not happen tomorrow, or maybe even the day after, but eventually you will be back on your feet looking back and being thankful for what you had to go through.
Every single thing, big or small, that we go through, makes us who we are. Experiences teach us different things, you can either learn from them, or you can take those experiences and become someone you weren’t meant to be.
You may say it’s easy for me to say, but it’s not. Coming from someone who has to pick herself back up tomorrow morning, it’s tough. It’s tough, because it feels like a constant thing.
It’s something I’ve become relatively good at through each experience though. The getting back up part for the hundredth time doesn’t take so long compared to the first time. It doesn’t hurt less though, that’s for sure.
I can tell you, from experience, that you will be okay when you wake up tomorrow morning.
You may have slightly puffy eyes and a broken heart that no one will be able to see, but you will be breathing, and that’s all that counts. Going through devastating loss takes time to get over, and it’s okay to take your time.
It’s okay to cry, and it’s also okay to feel. You don’t have to be tough all the time, because beautiful woman, you’re human.
You’re a beautiful woman having to carry many burdens, and it’s okay to sometimes feel the weight and admit that you’re not okay.
So, tonight I’m giving myself permission to feel, because I deserve that. I owe it to myself to feel every inch of disappointment that has come my way.
I owe it to myself to love myself enough to hurt, because I know if I don’t, I’m going to become the person I wasn’t meant to be. I’m worth so much more than that, and I should never forget that.
Even if my best wasn’t good enough for someone else, it was good enough for me. I loved fiercely, with passion, I fought until I had no more fight left within me.
I knew when it was my time to go, when hearing my own voice was getting old, and when it was time to give up. Not because I wanted to, but because I was left with no other choice.
Tomorrow I will get out of bed, wash my face, do my hair, put on my most expensive jewelry, and I will be okay. A little broken, but breathing. And so will you.
It wasn’t your fault, beautiful woman, you just did what you do best, you loved fiercely.
Zenka Hattingh originated from a classic romance novel, grew up in a small coastal town, and decided to venture out into the world, which led her to discover a passion for putting words together in a way that offers a little inspiration, an equal amount of laughter, and a whole lot of gumption.