rebelle wellness

Don’t Let Hunger Seduce You: Live a Delicious Life.

I know what it’s like to feel hungry and to like it. To know your body needs sustaining and to ignore the pangs in favor of some other more interesting pastime. When you learn how to be hungry, it can be hard to let it go.

Hunger is a tool. Its function is to tell us we are in need. But for me, it became a way to control how other people thought of me. So often, more often than I care for, the majority of people are held to unrealistic standards. They are more damaging than I want to admit. But though eating disorders are a serious, serious problem, they are heralded as the change one needs to snatch that elusive sliver of happiness out of the gloomy air.

I never made myself sick; I never starved myself on purpose. I didn’t binge-eat and purge. But with the combined efforts of insecurity within myself and instances of depression or stress stealing upon me when I least expected it, I became unhealthily thin. The thing is, when you have disordered thoughts about food, it’s tough. Sometimes the thought of eating would make me feel even worse. Only at the point where I had black spots in my vision would I eat.

Nine, ten, eleven hours without food, and I just didn’t care. I didn’t have a label, and for that I’m grateful. I did not want to become something I believed I was not, but the truth was undeniable. I was not eating as a healthy person should.

Confidence and personal development have given me a much better, more well-rounded view of food. It’s fuel, sure. But it should be enjoyable too. I want my biscuits with a cuppa in the afternoon. A delicious meal full of nutritious vegetables and zingy spices. When you’re trying to control your look or your well-being by controlling food, you lose the joy of spontaneous decisions. You can’t just decide to make a cake. You can’t have extra roast potatoes.

Before long, your stomach shrinks, so it’s difficult to finish a normal-sized meal.

I can’t do Yoga without food. After a session, I feel so hungry, and I need to, because my body needs the fuel to build the muscle and strengthen. That’s what I have been seeking all these years of being aware of food as something to restrict. All nine years, I wanted strength. Now, I’ve been through enough to know I will always have it.

Strength is my constant companion, and the determination I felt to just stay hungry a little bit longer has transmuted into a determination for a delicious life.

Hunger can seduce you. In the end, of course, it will only reduce what you are. You aren’t what you eat, you’re so much more than that. Giving your body what it needs to thrive is an act of self-love. Denying it belies a wider issue. I faced mine, my many insecurities, and I am stronger for having beaten them.

The vigilance stays with you. I am absolutely aware every day of how easy it is to lose a few pounds, not feel like eating one day and just continue. It will be a case of constantly checking myself and caring about myself enough to fulfill my needs. Although, perhaps it will make me better at it in the long run.

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JosephineHicksJosephine Hicks is a poet living her best life and listening to the call of the Universe for her purpose. She longs for a questing existence. Challenge is something she embraces (after digging her heels in a little…) and she is a fighter at heart. She loves love. Unable to settle for long, she is an adventurer. She wants to honor those who are the best at what they do. Fearlessness is her aspiration, and nature is her teacher. You could contact her via her website.

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