Hey Baby, What’s Your Zodiac Sign?
As a professional Astrologer, I get to bear witness to the quirky personality traits possessed by the Zodiac.
I realize that we all have characteristics going beyond what it means to be born on a certain day. But when you add one’s place of birth, and time of birth, their true self is revealed, uncovering information that is specific. Unfortunately, I do not have access to the birth records of everyone on Planet Earth! So, here are a few insights on what it is like dating the stars signs, based on years of study… and practice.
Disclaimer: Before you protest that my insights are too general (or maybe even offensive?), take a look and laugh a little. I am aware that regardless of my two cents, you, dear reader, are one of a kind (especially you, Leo!).
Aries: When dating an Aries, learn to keep up. If you are moving too slow, feeling unsure, or in need of additional time, then you are already too late! Aries needs passion and intensity, and lacks patience for the reserved types. Sure, the Ram may throw temper tantrums when his or her efforts are thwarted, but they never hold grudges, and will love you until you can no longer walk.
Taurus: No rushing here — oh no! Taurus wants to graze. Taurus needs to chew its food and savor every bite. Taurus is always on time, but slow to get ready. Thankfully, the Bull makes up for its languid approach to life by slowly pleasing you in the bedroom. This is a stubborn man, and the women can be equally infuriating when they dig in their heels. Still, Taurus is loyal once attached, and they find hard to detach, FYI.
Gemini: With Gemini, you have to be quick. I don’t mean constantly on the move like Aries, but quick-witted with a sharp mind. In fact, it might be best to clone yourself so that you can match Gemini’s scattered energy by being everywhere at once. This will ensure that the Twins won’t get bored. Keep it light — it’s a win if you have something to teach Gemini that (s)he did not already know. Follow my advice, and Gemini might be faithful.
Cancer: Love their crazy. Seriously. Love their crazy. These people are ruled by the Moon. Just as the ocean tides ebb and flow in accordance with the lunar cycles, so too does Cancer’s mood. I won’t call the Crab of the Zodiac crabby, but temperamental is a fairer word. Cancers love hard, and are equally sensitive — don’t let the shell fool you! Rub their belly. Bring food, and you will have a domestic partner for life! This goes for the women and men.
Leo: If you can imagine the signs of the Zodiac as representative of the different stages of personal development, then Leo is the creative five-year-old. Treat them like you would a child who needs plenty of love, attention, and kisses. When they act out, however, do not put up with their shit (ignoring works best if Leo really likes you). The men, especially, need to be propped up, and the women tend to be more prideful. This sign loves as hard as a Cancer.
Virgo: This one is easy: just be perfect! And know that when Virgos criticize you (and they will) it is usually from a place of love… I think. No, just kidding, it is usually from a place of love. Virgos are givers, so please show appreciation for what they do, even if you have to fake it. Virgos are also big on hygiene. If you don’t take care of yourself (or that smell) they will be quickly turned off. This is especially true for the men.
Libra: Libra may be the relationship sign of the Zodiac, but people often interpret this to mean committed relationships. Libras do like the idea of companionship and togetherness, but the keyword here is idea. So try this: pretend like y’all are in a relationship. Just go with the flow, and do not ask questions. After some time of Libra weighing its options (in the form of other people), (s)he may decide to actually commit to you — and will do so for life.
Scorpio: Are you sure you want to date a Scorpio? If there are any doubts, then the answer is No. With a Scorpio, you are either in it 110%, or totally out. The reason this sign can be so intense is because that is its nature. Period. They need to know that you can put up with their brooding energy, jealous outbursts, and need for privacy. Of course, you can’t be too forgiving either. This sign loves fiercely — better know what you are getting into.
Sagittarius: Sagittarius loves adventure, and can’t really sit still for too long. The Archers of the Zodiac stay optimistic, and typically don’t want to have to deal with restrictions on their freedom in a relationship. With that said, be up for anything. Do not be a stick in the mud. Let them have the last word — always. Give them a long leash. Learn to accept their sarcasm, even when having difficult conversations. In doing so, Sagittarius might be faithful.
Capricorn: Try not to be stupid if you are dating a Capricorn. As someone once said, “Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever.” Show up on time. Be passionate about something. Make your Capricorn laugh once in a while too — they need that. This sign can be notoriously Type A, and doesn’t understand how people live life without routines in place. So at least pretend like you have your shit together. Capricorn enjoys providing for those they love.
Aquarius: Be a friend first. Whether you are a possessive Scorpio, or a needy Cancer, Aquarius can get along with just about anyone if the relationship is built on a foundation of friendship. Aquarius wants to know that you will always accept them and their weird genius. Loyalty is important to them; as long as you have their back, they will have yours. Aquarius needs a long leash, but rarely strays. They always come back to their friends.
Pisces: If you are open to recreational drugs, and comfortable with not knowing how your Pisces thinks and operates, then you should be okay. The Pisces symbol of two fish swimming in opposite directions is a great metaphor for the sign that has no real rhyme or reason for its mystical ways. But let’s be honest… this is what attracted you in the first place! They are intuitive creatures, catnip for those in need. Never take them for granted.