To the Married Man Afraid of Me.
Let me be clear. My body is not a hurricane ready to smash your life to pieces. My breasts are not sirens luring you away from your life of dignity.
I once lived guilty because an entire world convinced me that it was my beauty that could hurt me, but no longer do I go hungry from feeding off those damning lies.
Whether my breasts are out or in, that is none of your concern. Whether I wear nothing or everything, that is none of your concern. Whether I smile at you or frown, that is none of your concern. You are not powerless when faced with breasts, I promise.
With fear in your eyes you hold tight to your mate as I walk by, and avoid eye contact. She hates me too, afraid of what your attraction to me might do, what it might open up for you both.
Stop holding me accountable for your hatred of sex, your body, your hatred of attractive women. For what you say they do to you and make you think. It is you who makes you think. You damn the thought of seduction as some tool of slavery instead of a beautiful divine gift. Blaming the shining thing for calling you to it, for wanting it.
I offer that it is not just my body that you are attracted to, it is the sacred feminine energy I exude that you want, that you crave, that heals you. The fact that you can sense I get you, that you don’t have to pretend anymore. Go and demand that from your wife by being the sacred masculine that you are, not by asking me to figure all of this out for you, or making it my responsibility to hide, so you feel less scared.
It is easy to label me whore, lewd, provocative, acting as if the female body is a weapon that must be stomped on. What really must be stomped on is your fear of the Divine Feminine, that it brings you to your knees and you’re not used to wanting something so damn much.
I don’t blame you. They tell you the want is where you go wrong. That you should cut off your lips, arms, thighs, heart at the sight of any beautiful being that makes you need. It is messy. It is crazy. The Divine Feminine is ever giving, holding, ever laughing, ever dancing in the rainstorm in the middle of the night. It will fight with you when you don’t treat her right. It will hold you and you will finally be able to cry.
She moves in a way that she knows that her very touch can burn away the lies and light you on fire. It is natural for you to want that bliss so much that you would forfeit your very life for just one taste of that decadent heat. But remember, your hunger is not just for me: it’s for the part of you that comes alive that has been asking to come out and dance this whole time.
The moment you yield and allow yourself to feel a sensation of joy or yearning in your heart in my presence is the moment you awaken, and nothing, no one, can take that from you and misshape it into something evil. It’s a gift that you hold to your heart and you channel it into your art, into your love, into your creativity, into your passion, into your family.
I hold space for you to work this thing out and realize that your desire is one of your precious gifts that you deserve to kindle and grow. I have not made it come alive, just as no one else can truly make it grow other than your willingness to be who you are.
Maria Palumbo is a healer. She is a dancer in the dark. She lovingly guides women in the retrieval of their own souls through coaching, workshops, and community development. She celebrates freedom from shame in body, mind, and soul. Her work is fun and delicious, making the journey of healing gorgeous and satisfying, like a kiss under the Full Moon. Fall in deep love with your soul by connecting with her on Facebook or at her website.