wisdom

My Confidence Trumps Fear.

You’re good to go.

You’ve gone through this long enough while circling the grounds of despair and confusion. You’ve been over a barrel on this one, not knowing what to do or where to go. And after all that’s happened lately, you are ready to move on. So, you wipe the final tears from your face. You straighten your shoulders. And you’re off, on to new horizons. To new things. To better things. Things that truly nurture your soul.

Day by day you’re feeling better now. And slowly the ground under your feet starts to feel secure again. Heck, there are even days you are able to smile again. And just when you think you’re home free, and ready to take a step forward, they hit you out of the blue. The old familiar voices you know so well show up once again. There they are, Mr. Fear, Mrs. Insecurity and Ms. Hesitant. You’ve had it with them.

You were so looking forward to leaving your past behind and starting over. So why do they keep coming back? Why do they still haunt you with their ominous stories?

You know by now it won’t work to ignore them. To walk past them, pretending not to hear what they’re saying. To cover their words with food, drinks and humor in the hope they’ll go away. You’ve tried that, and you learned the hard way it didn’t work out that well. So now what?

Give up on the dreams you’ve held for so long? Abandon your hopes of a future as good as anyone else has? Walk away from what might be?

No. You’re through with this. You are going to settle this thing, once and for all.

So you invite them all to your home. You sit them down at your table, and you ask them to show their hands.

There’s Mrs. Are You Sure You Wanna Go Through With This. Next to her, shaking his head, is Mr. It Will Never Work. On the other side of the table. you recognize Mr. It’s Not Meant For You To Happen,  with a smirk on his face. And of course, there’s Ms. It Never Worked So Why Would It Work Out Now.

They’ve all come to meet you. And now is your chance.

With an intense and determined gaze, you look them straight in the eye, and one by one, you give them the final chance to speak what’s on their mind. To tell what they so desperately want you to hear. And you let them speak. You don’t interrupt their outburst of worries and fears. You just listen, patiently. Without revealing your fear, without showing your anger, all the while keeping your cool.

When they’re done talking, and they’ve laid all their cards out on the table, the room goes silent. Not a word nor sound is heard. For a minute you stare at the table in front of you, and you see the cards they played. They played you the fear card. They played you the unworthy card. They played you the inadequate card. And deep inside in your gut, you feel them.

For a brief moment, it seems these old feelings rise up once again to try and hold you in their grip.

Your heart starts beating faster and faster, and little pearls of sweat appear on your skin. You try to swallow, but a huge lump has taken hold of your throat, hindering you from speaking.

But then you notice your own hands, tightly clenched together. And when you loosen your grip and open them, you see what’s inside; you see you have your own cards. And when you look closer, you recognize them. There’s the experience card. There’s the self-worth card. There’s the confidence card, tenacity card, and faith card. In your hands, you hold a perfect Royal Flush.

With a big grin on your face, and a fire in your eyes, you lay them at the table in front of you.

You win. Once and for all.

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LindaVanDerKwastLinda van der Kwast is a writer, a storyteller and a soon-to-be aura reader. She loves to explore what it is that moves people, and she has no fear of diving deep into a human soul to find that out. She likes to shed a light on things to guide people find their way back. It inspired her to start her website, believing that every person can be free to express herself who she is. At times she mistakes the sea to be her home, and you’ll find her at the beach, far horizons filling her eye, wondering what’s out there. Closer to home, you can meet her at Facebook or Twitter with a cup of tea and chocolate, balancing between expressing herself in Dutch and English.

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