What Is Healing?
Healing, according to Webster’s dictionary, is to return to a sound state. It is to relieve anguish and suffering.
To me, healing is to walk around the world not feeling like you have a big fat open gaping wound in the middle of your body, saying Here I am. I have been hurt, and I am open and vulnerable to be hurt again. It is not feeling like there is something wrong with you for having suffered what you have suffered, and not feeling like you have no way to defend yourself when someone attacks the very thing you are trying to heal, consciously or unconsciously.
It means not feeling like you might not make it through a day or a situation without falling apart, because you have no one to lean on, and no one to depend upon — especially yourself.
Healing means you have walked through your unresolved feelings over and over and over again, and finally have come to accept them all as your own, with love. You have come to understand that you have been hurt or wronged or abused, and it is not your fault. You only had a natural reaction to an unnatural or unhealthy situation you were in at a particular time and place in your life.
There is no need to blame a particular person who caused you harm, because your goal is healing, self-love, and understanding, and not hate or anger or making yourself a wronged victim any longer.
You have come to understand the feelings that keep coming up in your day-to-day life, and have finally found the root. You know it is from a deep-held belief that was formed a long time ago, that you never even think about anymore, because it so deeply ingrained in who you are.
That belief was formed from within an event or circumstance that played out in your life where your needs were not met or you were hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually at a deep level.
It could be that you’ve never felt good enough to even begin to believe that your dreams in this life can come true. It could be that you feel like you will never make enough money, or find the right partner. You will never find happiness or satisfaction in life.
Any of these, or something else entirely, could be the belief that was formed all those years ago in a circumstance that was beyond your control. And you’ve had to deal with it for all this time while never understanding it, and always having to deal with this constant pain and heartache, and feeling that maybe there is something wrong with you.
Healing means you’ve walked through these feelings, and really felt them. You’ve let yourself have that gut-wrenching, mind-blowing cry you always hold in — just let it all out, and felt like it will never end. You’ve lain on the floor in a crumpled mess. And, you’ve let out all that anger that is inside — and yelled and screamed and hit and punched (soft objects in a safe place) till you felt like your arms and legs might actually fall off.
When you’ve done all that and let yourself feel, then you are on your way to true, lasting healing.
Because after that release happens, there is a new configuration that has to form within you where that old emotion was. It happens both consciously and unconsciously. You may suddenly have new revelations of another time in your life where you felt exactly the same kind of despair, hopelessness, and rage. And now, looking back on it, you have a new understanding of it.
You understand why you felt that way then, and why you feel the way you do now — the pieces connect. There is a new energy brewing inside of you. It is of love, of embracing yourself. You don’t need to feel bad anymore about how you feel. You don’t need to judge it or push it down or away from you. You love yourself for feeling exactly the way you do, and realize you don’t have to hold it in anymore.
You can move on now, to this present moment, right here, right now, loving yourself, and using this new-found knowledge to feel okay. To feel grounded. To feel happy. To feel healed.
Ruchi Jain is a pharmacist and counselor. She walks the line between the Eastern and Western worlds of medicine, and hopes one day the two will be used together in harmony. She is a perpetual learner, and is really good at putting herself in awkward and uncomfortable situations, for the purpose of growth and healing. She enjoys Soul Motion movement practice, Yoga, painting, pastel work, and writing. You can find her on her website or on Facebook.