3 Survival Tips for Those Who Are Lost.
I am a girl who is lost.
Although it’s comforting to hear that a lot of people feel that way, it still doesn’t act as a compass.
I am lost in many ways. I’m a 26-year-old artist living in New York City… what should I have expected?
I’ve been lost for years.
Because I’ve been in this disorienting tango for so long, I can clue you into the steps I’ve taken to get a little bit closer to my destination: discovering what I want and deserve to have for a long-term career.
The first step is acknowledging the themes in your life. What are you doing or saying within your mind that is getting in your way? For example, a haunting reoccurring theme in my life is that I need everyone to like me. I am a people-pleaser. I will actively choose to put others’ desires in front of my own just so I am well-liked. I willingly sacrifice my own convenience and happiness for someone else’s. How sad, right?
Soon after I identified this theme (which took years of help and self-reflection to recognize… I’m no Buddha), I challenged myself to pick Me first and to accept the fact that someone may not like something about me. I became aware that I was doing a disservice to myself, and those I interact with, by continually putting myself in the backseat.
The second step is to identify what you want, and to ask for it.
I was that kid who got food-poisoning in class, but would choose to sit in discomfort rather then raise my hand and throw the teacher’s lecture off. Needless to say, I have thrown up in my eighth grade English class. As I reflect back on countless similar moments, I am astonished that I did not just ask for what I needed. In that specific moment, it was simple: I literally just needed to go to the bathroom… desperately!
Do you feel you deserve a raise? Ask for it. Do you want to take that girl on a date? Ask her. Do you want to go to another restaurant because you hate the one they suggested? Ask them. It can be big, it can be small, but deep down, you know what you want, so you might as well just go for it. Fortune Favors the Bold — the worst thing that can happen is you get told No, but isn’t this a gift as well? Yes, because now you know. Now you get over it.
Closure occurs. You begin to want something else… you ask for something else.
Finally, the last step I’ve found that leads me closer to finding myself is trust. The moment you survey the multiple paths you have in front of you, choose one wisely, commit fully, and trust that what you feel you want is worth asking for. Instincts are embedded into human beings for a reason. If you bravely choose to follow them, they may lead you on the right path.
I can tell you this… nothing changed since the beginning of this article, when I started writing it. I am still a girl who is lost, I am just putting in the effort to be found.
That is all it takes.
Jamie Wolfe collects her energy and passion from New York City’s electric streets. She moved to Manhattan to study drama at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, and fell in love with its edge and quirky charm. She attempts to find humor in all situations, and thoroughly enjoys comedy, dance, and a solid spicy tuna roll. She lives in constant awe of her surroundings, and has committed to capturing her emotions in writing so they last forever.