Divine Connection and the Transcendence of Physical Union.
I didn’t say Thank You…
It’s been 5 years. That’s right, 5 years, 1 month and 12 days since I first saw you in the physical, and yet today I feel you more strongly than ever.
It’s 5 pm, and I’m already looking forward to the four-day Easter break that can’t come soon enough. Then all of a sudden I get that little nudge to look out of the office window, and there it is, a sign from the Universe, to me. A huge lorry with big white letters spelling out your name.
I love those moments. It doesn’t matter where you are on your path, if you’re open to it, you will always be guided in the right direction, or at least given a message you needed to know at that moment in time.
It wasn’t long after that I started to feel strange. I’ve been sober for years now, yet that sensation of taking a drug never goes away. Instantly I felt high, but knew right there it wasn’t my symptoms I was feeling, but that of yours.
You had opened up to this beautiful connection once again, and although you wanted to numb your feelings like you do with all the memories that are so painful to you, in that moment I felt elated. Not for wanting to reconnect in the physical, this soul-deep connection goes way beyond that.
It took you to run like the wind, which in turn caused me immense pain, and that’s when I knew I needed to do my own inner work, because all you did was mirror back to me everything that needed to come up for healing, and boy, did it click after that!
You see, I can laugh about it now. Not because I’m totally healed, but through purging all my wounds, addictions, childhood traumas and abandonment issues. Also, from the soul contracts that have come into my life to help me grow, and yes, that also includes the bad ones. I won’t go into too much detail because I feel this will be long enough, and you know how much chatter I have in me.
Do you remember that night of me telling you about the guy who died? Well, I was too ashamed to tell people what really happened. Obviously, my closest friends and family knew what he did to me, as it wasn’t nice at all. In fact, it was quite evil, but everything happens for a reason, and although I didn’t deserve it, it needed to happen because what became of my despair in wanting to end my life really became my miracle.
And then there was you…
It’s so weird being that it has been 5 years since I first saw your beauty in the flesh.
I still remember that night as if it was yesterday. Your eyes took me to a place I never thought I could go, they smiled at me like the sun smiles on Gaia on a warm summer’s day. We stayed up most of the night, and as you held me in your arms, it felt like it was for the thousandth time, yet after breakfast, I watched you walk away from my car with a feeling that could be the last time I would look upon you in the physical.
It’s the little details I noticed about you. My eyes were like microscopes that evening as they scanned your fine chiseled features, the dimpled chin that I found so adorable, to the hairs on your arms and softness to your skin when stroking around your belly button. The silliness we both became when staring into one another… I could have laid there forever.
I am no longer the woman I was all those years ago. I know, in this life we will always be continually healing and growing, but I feel like I can finally let go of an outcome because I see the bigger picture. I thought being with you in the physical would make me happy. So you see, you gave me the biggest gift of all.
Your running took me on a journey of not only loving myself, but stripping away the old template of my unworthiness and knowing that I can manifest my own destiny and also spread love and light to anyone who’s in need of it. I am so thankful for that, and will forever be thankful for your loving embrace, because we are never really apart. I’ll always be right there with you, every step of the way.
I’ve been cheering you on from Day One, and I couldn’t be more proud of you — you are a part of me, and I am a part of you, my love.
I do have times when I wonder, what if I saw you in the physical now? Would we both be pulled to one another again? Would we feel the overwhelming rush and tingling sensation over our bodies like we felt on that cold February night? I know you felt it as I remember you gently stroking your cheek with the back of your hand, your body vibrating to the rhythm of mine.
Whether you knew the Divine was at play, I knew you were in awe just like me. Would all the memories of separation come flooding back? Or were you just the catalyst to propel my growth and transformation into the woman I am today?
I have to be honest, I don’t know the answer to that. All I know is how different I would feel this time. I know that I would stand in my calmness, I also know that I would be aware of the energies more. To be honest, I would embrace every ounce of your being while I let you be the free soul you came here to be. After all, you are the other half of me.
And if this physical union is not destined for this lifetime, our souls will find our way back to each in the next, where we can entwine all over again.
Thank you for awakening my soul and bringing me back to life.
Cary-Ann Glastonbury is just a girl from a small town who found her passion for writing through experiencing a catalyst in 2011. After having a spiritual awakening, she’s now on a path of not only loving this journey of what the unknown brings to her, but also has a deep yearning for a greater cause, a cause which includes spreading love and light wherever she goes, helping raise the vibration of the planet into a new paradigm, where we all walk together on a path to a better existence for humanity, and inspiring others to find their way to living in peace and truly loving themselves for who they are. You can reach out to her via Email.