I Dare You to Fall For Your Best Friend.
“Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.” ~ James Thurber
On Saturday, September 7th, 2013, at one of New York’s dive-iest bars, I made my most frightening yet best decision of my life: I kissed my best friend.
In a sea of drunken people and blaring music, I remember my focus was suddenly only on him. Locked in tunnel vision on the one person who, in a romantic sense, had been the farthest from my mind, I was shocked by this unforeseen desire. At that point, he was my best guy friend of five years. Through college, we saw each other through good relationships, turbulent relationships, family and friend troubles, and everything in between.
He was my sidekick, my main dude, and suddenly, in one moment, it all shifted into something much bigger than I could have ever imagined.
If there is any advice I can share with all those in search of love, it is this: do not chase after anything but a best friend.
At first, the concern of dating him would not let me give in to my feelings. I was more apprehensive than ever. The idea of losing him as a friend if something were to go wrong made me physically nauseated. Therefore, after an unexpected kiss which seemed so magical that time stopped, I still found myself running away from my feelings. In fact, I was sprinting. I couldn’t handle how good it could be. I could not fathom that I deserved a love like this.
It was so real that it became paralyzing. However, he knew me better than anyone. This was a confusing whirlwind of change for both of us, but he understood my state of stillness, and pushed me to trust it and move forward. That is the beauty of it all: best friends fight for each other’s happiness. Best friends do not give up.
I must admit, we are not perfect. We have dealt with the highest of highs and lowest of lows. We have taken brief moments of time apart, only to discover that we craved each other’s guidance. We made our mistakes, shared our secrets, and learned to grow from them instead of holding resentment. Best friends do not cling to grudges. They talk, even argue, but they do not rest until there is a peaceful conclusion.
We are determined to remain balanced and connected. We will go into battle to be on the same page in the end game. We are our strongest and best selves as teammates. Together, we play to win.
Money does not show up when you find you are overwhelmed with grief. Attractiveness does not comfort you when you are suffering from loss. Power gets you nowhere when you are feeling lonely or ill.
A best friend is the person who makes you smile through pain, listens when you need to be heard, and holds your hand when you feel afraid.
Sept. 14, 2016 marks three years of dating my best friend. If you are lucky enough to find this person, do not hesitate to take a leap of faith. If you are yet to find this person, do not settle for anything less.
Jamie Wolfe collects her energy and passion from New York City’s electric streets. She moved to Manhattan to study drama at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, and fell in love with its edge and quirky charm. She attempts to find humor in all situations, and thoroughly enjoys comedy, dance, and a solid spicy tuna roll. She lives in constant awe of her surroundings, and has committed to capturing her emotions in writing so they last forever.