I Am Never Alone on This Road.
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Determined, I keep going, my eyes fixed on the road in front of me. The road looks empty and abandoned. There’s no one in front of me or anyone around me.
It seems nobody has ever ventured down this trail before. There are no maps of this area, nor are there any signs along the road to point me in the right direction. Still, intuitively I know where it is I want to go. In my mind I have seen the images, of this point that I’d like to reach. In my dreams I’ve felt it, the fulfillment and pride of getting there.
It’s this feeling that encouraged me to leave the familiar behind and set out on this adventure.
It’s not so easy, this uncharted road I’ve chosen. Trying to bypass all the potholes and bumps that are out there. And because I’m all alone, and there’s no one ahead of me, no reference point at all, it easily happens that I don’t see these holes in time and walk straight into them. At times an eerie feeling creeps up on me, that there might be more to this one goal I’m after.
Is it really one straight road? Shouldn’t there have been some exits by now? Is it normal that it takes this long?
Not everyone around me knows that I’m on this journey. For months I pondered if I was going to tell them about my dreams, my goal.
Of course, I know there are friends willing to back me up and encourage me to at least try this new thing I’m after. Still, I also remember other occasions. Times when opinions were uttered inadvertently and unsolicited good advice was shared without any hesitation. Occasions that many times discouraged me to speak openly about the things I felt within.
But this time, this longing inside me is so strong that nothing will stop me from following it. So I’m off. And I’ve decided to share my thoughts and my dreams only with a few good friends. They know exactly where it is I intend to arrive. Others are only aware that I’m somewhere, out there, en route.
A bold and courageous move. One with a flip side to it. At times it feels lonely being out there, almost invisible on this desolate road. It’s on one of these lonesome moments I stop for a moment to sit down. For a minute I look around and I take in the surroundings I’m traveling in.
Not too far from this point I’m resting, I notice an individual sitting on the side of the road. A woman dressed casual but elegantly. It doesn’t appear she’s a traveler. It seems she is waiting, for something. The woman looks at me and smiles, and beckons me to come closer.
I hesitate… Who is this stranger? What does she want from me? Can I trust her? I stare at her, wondering if I should walk up to her or not. But there’s something in her eyes, so kind and inviting that melts my reluctance away and I decide to accept her invitation.
We talk. About dreams and about being on the road. It’s an open conversation, and more importantly, it’s a two-way one. One without judgments and without opinions and advice. So different from what I’ve experienced before. Instead there are questions. She likes to know who I am and why I’ve chosen to travel this particular road, why in this way, and what is it I’d like to achieve.
The more questions the woman asks me, the more I feel seen by her. The more I feel seen, the more I feel safe to share. We talk for hours, and I notice how good it feels to express the things that live inside me. And it is now that I become aware how much there is that wants to be told and how vast my story is.
Hours later, I get up to continue my journey, and it’s then that I notice something’s changed.
It seems there’s so much more that I see. Details I’ve missed before, now are distinctly clear. I see side roads, running along this main road I’m traveling, in the same direction of where I’m going. I notice small signs around me, pointing me in the right direction. Meeting the strange woman has opened me up to new ways of seeing.
For a moment I close my eyes, and a smile spreads over my face and a warm feeling takes over my body. It surprises me, and yet it feels strangely familiar.
When I open my eyes again, I spot a new challenge appearing just in front of me. I accelerate, and with this newborn fire within me, I continue my adventure. My smile has made way for a roaring laugh which now leaves my mouth, knowing that whatever happens, I can do this.
I learned throughout the years that there are many kinds of people you’ll meet in your life. Some will look at you and see what’s on the surface. Some will look at you but can only see through their own lenses, colored by their experiences. And then there are the ones who see You. Who make room. Who allow. Who just love.
Sometimes they stay. And sometimes they’re merely a stranger you’ll meet at a given time on the road you are on.
Still, they are the ones who truly encouraged me. They are the ones who made me realize that I am never alone on this road.
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Linda van der Kwast is a writer, a storyteller and a certified aura reader. She loves to explore what it is that moves people, and she has no fear of diving deep into a human soul to find that out. She likes writing about feelings and intuition. She hopes that one day people will recognize the powerful gift of feeling again. It inspired her to start her website. At times she mistakes the sea to be her home, and you’ll find her at the beach, far horizons filling her eye, wondering what’s out there. Closer to home you can meet her at Facebook or Twitter with a cup of tea and chocolate, balancing between expressing herself in Dutch and English.
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