wisdom

Unraveling Darkness: Ode to an Inconstant Moon.

 

The issue is not right or wrong. It’s not God vs Goddess: The Smackdown.

Talking about patriarchy isn’t cursing all men who are also injured by the current structure. Talking about matriarchy doesn’t mean we get to deny that we’ve had a part in all this messiness.

The cursing, however, is necessary to move into the awareness of the larger picture. We have a lot of cursing, wailing and rending of garments to do at times. We have a desperate ignored need to clear the decks, so we can see the glory beyond it.

In Shadow work, we are deliberately facing our hatreds, both large and small. Our fury and our petty grievances are witnessed and owned so that they may be integrated. We don’t punch, hit or kick anything into change. We can force compliance, and we have done that for far too long and to the detriment of ourselves and others.

Forced compliance drives pain underground, where fester isn’t a strong enough word to describe what happens to the buried pain and how bad the repercussions of that can be.

We’ve taken the light and fluffy, and made it a way of being which leaves us living half-lives.

We make memes that comfort us, that sometimes give us moments of clarity which aren’t followed up on because following up requires walking into Darkness. So let’s talk about how the Moon relates to this.

We’re fascinated by the Moon. I always have been, even as a child, drawn to the Moon. As a teen, I would stare at the night sky and drown in the loneliness of feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere on the Earth and never would. I believe those hours of focusing on Her kept me from spinning far enough out of control to commit suicide.

How ironic that I would choose the most fluid and inconstant source in the sky to anchor in. I was spinning, and I chose a variable symbol continually changing light to dark to light to dark.

“O, swear not by the moon, th’ inconstant moon,

That monthly changes in her circled orb,

Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.” ~ Romeo & Juliet, Act 2, Scene 2

Juliet was wrong about a lot of things, but about this in particular. The only constant is the inconstant. Swearing by the moon acknowledges that some days we love, some days we hate, and in every day there are all shades in between the two. We can hold them all as a larger whole state of Be-ing.

Swearing by an inconstant moon is an expression of the deepest honesty and ownership of our cyclical, fallible, inconstant selves.

I see why we stare at Her as women. It’s no secret that our cyclical nature has been criticized and denigrated at the minimum, and raped and killed at the maximum. However, in questioning this fascination, I see a truth that has been there my whole life and I didn’t see it quite this way.

I was made for Shadow work. It’s easy for me, seeing the darkness of humanity and inside of individuals comes as naturally to me as breathing. I was made from the Moon herself in this regard. Follow me on this for a moment.

Our fascination with the Moon carries a message for our salvation. She cycles, Shadow and Light, Shadow and Light, showing us every 28 days the wholeness of who we are if we’ll allow it.

We stare at her in our feelings of defective stuckness with our hearts breaking from the denial of our own personal power. Instinctively turning our faces to Her light, She shows us it is our own light that She is reflecting back. We need to own our brilliance.

We stare at the night sky when She is seemingly gone, wailing that She has abandoned us for parts or people unknown, crying like Motherless children, and She whispers that it is our own darkness that She is reflecting back. We need to own our Shadow.

Many of us have watched the Moon without fail as She has told us the story and shown us the way to move in circular, cyclical ways through the world in Shadow/Light/Shadow/Light.

Transferable knowledge to our journey of exploring Feminine/Masculine/Feminine/Masculine.

Each as different as Night and Day. Each as necessary as Night and Day.

The calling we feel surging in our wombs, in our bellies, in our blood, is to re-member. The Council table we need to take a seat at first is our own. We cannot meet the Sacred Masculine when we are carrying around the untended energies of rage of our own unhealthy masculine energies which cause us to reject the other side, the female side of ourselves.

We cannot perceive the depth of the Sacred Feminine while strangled by unspoken anger toward other women who have hurt us more than any man, the unspoken that would kill and destroy everything around us.

That is killing and destroying everything around us.

Cursing God is necessary for healing. Cursing Goddess is required.

We need most to understand that what we are crying out for is right here in our own physical bodies which have also been trying to talk to us our whole lives, but that’s a topic for a different day.

Nothing moves until we accept it fully, and that is more than a meme. It’s not cat-poster philosophy or catchy fortune-cookie nonsense. Oh, we do love to talk and sing and discuss these topics. It feels good to do so, and it gives us hope, but it can’t heal us at the core.

Nothing moves without complete acceptance of it.

If you are weaving and find a knot, you cannot cut it out lest you destroy your creation. You are required to stop and tease the threads back into their individual wholeness, before you can weave them into a larger wholeness.

Unweaving knots may involve some cursing, some yarn burns, some, actually a lot of, deep breathing.

Facing, and even more, embracing the parts of ourselves we like least, is the only thing that can heal at a depth you may not believe is possible.

Dark of the Moon: Who do you hate? Find that in you, and feel the resistance to it. Breathe.

Light of the Moon: Who do you love? Find that in you, and feel the resistance to it. Breathe.

The Moon has been showing us the way this entire time. Stop. Drop. Listen.

***

michellewolffMichelle Wolff teaches using story, humor, and some salty language. She’s ridiculously curious with a wide variety of things she calls “jobs” only because she has to call them something. She’s a low-level chronic complainer who periodically gets riled up enough about something to write about it. She holds a Master’s degree in Education, has 20 years experience, and loves to help you rewrite your stories about life. She has been a therapist specializing in trauma, and is now one hellacious energy worker and Shadow Walker. Her passion is geared toward restoring you through alchemical processes to a being who lives and loves from a centered, grounded, totally in your True Power place. She uses any tools she can find to assist from chakras, cards and Reiki, to cheese fries and Netflix. Her gift is guiding you to face the darkness through deep love and laughter.

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