you & me

My Diary of Dinner Dates and the Fleeting Draw of Distraction.


How many people do you know who talk about their goals, dreams and projects but never really see them through? You may know someone, or you may be that someone.

I know that someone, I was one.

I used to fill my diary with dinner dates, group excursions, picnics and parties.

It was a beautiful distraction from my mind.

The chitter-chatter was constantly trickling down the hallway from my room as a stream of friends filled my silence and my space.

I was numbing my thoughts through mindless conversation and social interaction.

My early 20s were spent searching for acceptance, looking for a place to belong, a place to truly connect, but coincidentally, as a result, I found myself chasing trends, changing costumes and attempting to make people love me rather than finding the strength to love myself.

I became suffocated in a sea of meaningless conversations that repressed my path to success.

I was devaluing myself by prioritizing social events.

Trying to come from a selfless place in my own mind often resulted in other’s perceiving me as selfish. This was due to spreading myself too thin.

Social occasions outweighed my soul time, and large numbers of friends became a fuel for my ego.

I have heard many times in breakups with lovers, or fights with friends, that they have felt I had not been genuine.

I was being genuine, but I was more interested in creating conversation about change rather than inspiring action for change.

I resisted the concept of making time for myself as I feared it may be perceived as self-indulgent.

Not allowing myself the silence and space I needed and deserved was definitely hindering my purpose, place and worth.

This resulted in being left behind by friends and lovers who perceived me more as a talker than someone who followed through with strong actions.

Plentiful Ideas and dreams were flying rapidly around me like a murder of ravens. I was full of ideas, but I never took the time to actually capture one of those flying ideas, train it, and bring it to life with my own energy, until now.

Now I have found stillness and success in my silence, and it has provided me with an abundance.

Silence and self-love can go hand in hand. Learning to love myself through silence has become a beautiful way to tame my mind.

Lao Tzu states, “Silence is a source of great strength.”

The over-social being often gets left behind when they are constantly looking to serve others or impress others.

What I have begun to understand is that the meaningless conversations that we are constantly caught up in is actually repressing our ability to succeed.

Do not repress your ability to manifest.

Manifesting your reality is not wishing to the stars to reach a level of success overnight, but rather working hard on your ideas and concepts to take you to the place you want to be.

Create your time and space. Wisely choose where and with whom you share your social space. Saying No to events will better your ability to take time for yourself.

Here is one way how: create a morning routine. When you wake up, sit and be still in your silence. Do not fill your space with music, television, conversation or social media streams that over-activate the mind.

Begin with 10 minutes in the morning, sit with your thoughts, allow them to flow into you and through you, and slowly the silence you invite into your life will help you succeed in your endeavors.

Take the path of discipline, and draw the line when conversations become meaningless and silence suffers.


ellanoahbancroftAustralia-based writer Ella Noah Bancroft is a word-weaver, traveler, lover, poet, mentor, director and daydreamer. She has a passionate voice for women’s empowerment, environmental issues, indigenous affairs, spiritual ideals and gay rights. Her work reflects her own path of discovery, and she hopes to empower people to live their truth and be authentic to their souls. You could contact Ella via her website.


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