you and me

I’ll Meet You Where the Winds Blow Free.

 

Dear future lover and fellow adventurer,

We haven’t met yet, or maybe we just haven’t happened yet.

Either way, our sliding doors haven’t opened at the same time, we haven’t stepped onto the same train. We haven’t happened yet because we’ve had to endure all that we needed to. We haven’ t been ready for each other. I haven’t been ready for all that you have to give. You’ll come when you’re supposed to, and you’ll find me ready for you.

But before you do, let me start by letting you know that I’m confident in my singleness; it has made me strong, independent and unwilling to settle. I value my own company, and in my times alone, I’ve learnt so much. These are the lessons which I now wish to share, when I choose to share my life with you.

Meet me in all the parts I do not love about myself, and I will do the same for you.

I do it so that you may get on with loving passionately and fiercely, the whole of all our parts together.

There are slabs of my soul that define a second in a lifetime that you’ll need to get to know.

For me, being the change I wish to see in the world is healing my own true nature.

I will never disown my difficult stories because I am the integration of all of my experiences, even the ones where I fell and fucked up. I am resilient, and I do not collapse in the presence of fear. If I am not moving forward in some way, I will feel stuck and claustrophobic.

I am not just an adventurer, I am an adventure — and I can promise you that it won’t always be a smooth ride.

Meet me where the road ends because that is where the adventure begins. I leave pieces of my life behind me everywhere I go.

Some turbulence will be avoidable, in hindsight. Some will not be in my control at all, though I will hesitate, as I know for certain that we are all vibrational magnets.

What I put out, I get back.

The biggest, most challenging and epic adventure of all is my own journey within, for that is where I seek new landscapes, opportunities and possibilities.

I move lightly and care deeply.

I am a social butterfly who loves to be alone.

I live in my head, and my heart overflows.

I am light and airy.

I take things way too seriously, or not at all.

I am too sensitive, and I am tough love.

I am a walking contradiction. Better yet, I am eclectic.

I will never stand for a caged life, even if the fight for freedom to fly leaves bumps and bruises and scars all over me.

I take pictures as an expression of how I see the world, though I know that there is no frozen image in time that can ever capture the aliveness and the movement of each moment. I have a million mental images etched into the soul of my mind, and I can access them vividly anytime I please. You may hear me whisper Snapshot in the moment of that which I wish to capture.

In a single heartbeat, I will focus and blink and capture it in my mind and my heart. I know how fleeting each moment of life is, and for some reason, this feeling has always been amplified in me.

I am highly sensitive. I think about death because I know that to not think of death daily is like not thinking about life daily, which most of us are too busy to do.

I know that this journey called life is short.

Whether a life is 100 years or less, compared to recorded history or eternity, it is short. Life must be lived with purpose, or it is wasted.

Meet me on the balance point and we will teeter, all four of our feet will be off the ground, dangling in the air. I will do this just so I can look you in the eye and sync my heart up with yours.

I crave nature, the top of a mountain, the rhythm of the sea, the early morning of a new day… meet me in its light. It is necessary to seclude myself among hidden valleys, fresh water, to immerse myself in the breath of sea air, to feel the life source of the sun restoring myself to the universe; it is necessary so that I may hear the whispers of my heart.

In me lies an invincible summer, where every breath in brings me to endless possibilities, and every breath out lets it all go, making room for more of life.

I am humbled by the strength of fire, wind and water. The fact that we can never touch the same river water twice stuns me with curiosity, and I let the waters pass through my flesh and bones, cleansing my soul and carrying my wishes out to sea.

I catch my breath in the swells of the ocean, and my life’s echo in the starlit sky.

I can see my one thousand stories of before shot out into the universe faster than light. The universe and my stories of before, they never see one another because the light of one will never catch up to the light of the other.

Forests enchant me, and their unknown frightens me just enough.

Big cities leave me lonely, but fill my pages with ink.

When it feels crowded and noisy, and I can’t hear the wind or the silence, I must go away. I know there is no absence of sound, my heart feels and hears all.

The moon sanctions me, and I find connection to the rest of the world, knowing that we all look up at the same moon, and that the only thing stopping us all from seeing it at the same time is earth itself.

You’re either on the day side of the planet or the night side; this is why I will always marvel at the moon when I can see it in the day sky, I wonder about those under the night sky, and I wonder if it’s you and me teetering on the edge in the gorgeousness of the unknown.

I was born for the breeze. I find direction in the winds of change, and that is where I find my shocking moments of revelation.

I know the only thing stopping me from living the life I truly desire is myself; it is a real struggle for me: it is difficult to be fierce through my fragility. All of my strength is in my soul, and all of my fieriness is in my spirit. I work every day at unlearning fear, not letting the love I didn’t receive in the past hold me back, and accepting love in my heart and extending it out.

I think I have the art of forgiveness nailed, and I know it does not mean saying it was okay, but rather letting go of the pain, and understanding that almost everyone has fucked up in the past.

My eyes see the world, life, and you in a very vivid way. I will get to know you gracefully; you won’t want to look away. I am devoured emotionally. I feel life.

I am a searcher. I am neither unhappy, nor am I content. I explore life. I explore to understand. I think more than I do. I am an idea, but not one to fall in love with. I am my own idea, not yours.

I will get it, and I will get you.

If I don’t get it, I won’t pretend to, but I will always try. You may think I am not paying attention at times, when in fact I am paying more attention than one can manage. There are a thousand forms of loveliness in you and the world around us that I refuse to let elude me, I am paying attention to it all.

I am not for everyone. There are people who really don’t like me. There are also those who love me in every way. They are the ones who hear me and see me in this way and that. I love my people, and I will love your people too.

I am a wild heart. Bold and brave, restless and calm. I am split between the storm and the silence. I will need to go and structurally dip my toes into debauchery from time to time.

Let me. Meet me there and taste this beautiful life.

This is just a small taste of my reality, and I am keenly aware that yours is just as real. I will not love you unconditionally, because that is not love. Love is messy, universal, sweaty, crazy and broken. It is whole, divine and graceful. We are not perfect. And I don’t want you to love me unconditionally either. Love my flawed as much as you love my fabulous, but please, don’t take my shit that is broken and bruised.

I want a love that builds; I want to find my person next to whom, when I lay down my head in the end, I’ll know I lived my life standing in love. I want a love that begins with the parts I do not love. I learned how to drink love watching the Kalahari soak up the rains, watching life and beauty blossom in a desert. So rain, rain your love gently down on my heart.

I am thankful for all the years in between, for they have shaped me into who you deserve, and now, because of all I’ve endured, I know I deserve you.

I will meet you where you can see the azure sky, or lying in tall grass or in an open field under a midnight sky, the stars in a blaze of glory.

I will meet you at dawn to listen to the song of the morning doves and greet the new day.

I will meet you in the enchantment of a song, the meaning of its lyrics, or a moment in a movie.

I will meet you in the ugly bits and the sad bits and the difficult bits.

I will meet you in an open field lit by a full moon, making love to the flickering light of our universe.

I will meet you in the sand, and we will somersault into the sea.

I will meet you at the end of the world, so that we may dangle our feet off the edge and be thankful that we were one of us.

I will meet you in the freedom of my heart, and my heart is ready for you.

You can’t schedule serendipity, you can’t schedule the mysterious ways by which opportunities hit our world or how or where or when. There are no halfway collisions with serendipity. It’s full-on, and so when it happens, I will stand in love with you and I will rise in love with you.

I will meet you where the wild winds blow the sun into the sea.

I will meet you at home and magic, and in love always.

***

pennylightPenny Light is a Life Adventure Expert, who has traveled most of the world, including living in a tent in the middle of the African bush for a year and documenting a pride of lions. She hosts personal growth retreats — both private and group — in Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and does elite 1 on 1 coaching/mentoring. Penny believes that life is one great big adventure, even more so when we say Yes and show up to it honestly and courageously. Adventure travel has always been the primary means of her continuous search for a better self. She believes that stepping out of our comfort zones and going on adventures raises our tolerance for uncertainty. Placing ourselves in situations where things don’t always go as planned, such as on an adventure trip, helps us learn to cope with the uncertainties in life, of which there is no shortage. Penny’s aspiration is to bring to others what travel has brought to her — a new way of seeing not just the world, but ourselves as we exist on this planet, to learn the always inevitable lessons, that letting go is a necessity for survival, longevity and health, and of course, the beautiful connections made in human kindness along the way.

***

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