Sex: Allowing Our Bodies to Lead Without Judgment.
What if the key to sex is being able to be ourselves at that moment, allowing our body to speak for itself, to guide the process, and leaving the mind behind?
That’s what it comes down to. We have sex with our minds, not with our bodies. It is 80% mind, 20% body, and there is a massive difference. We have sex the way we think we should, what we think is the correct process. The way we have been taught about sex by cultural, societal, and universal beliefs, and ideas.
It is the boundaries of our minds, whether placed there by society, held there by ourselves, or the reservations of the other, that deny us our true pleasures in life. Spending too much time in those beliefs hindering us from true expression of our emotional arousal and actually enjoying ourselves, and the experience with another, we rob ourselves of the true essence of what lovemaking is all about.
There is nothing to think about if we let the energy flow through feeling, breathing, and being present in the moment, with our senses guiding us to endless ecstasy. Our bodies know. Yet we block that freedom, that flow. Most humans do not know what this feeling is because they haven’t experienced it with themselves.
We come in with all these judgments, conclusions, and expectations. We do not allow our bodies to take the lead, to allow them to freely communicate with each other. I wonder what would be possible if we did.
Sex could almost be like the ultimate form of being you, because that power would now be doubled, amplified, with two people being themselves — that is sex at its best! Ecstasy beyond reality maybe one of the most amazing experiences ever. An intimacy which does not necessarily need time to reach this state with each other. You could have it with a stranger, and starting from the very first time.
Perhaps it is easier for people then because the mind is not playing so much of a role. It is spontaneous, it is unexpected, we do not have time to create those barriers, those walls, fears, insecurities, and judgments. It is safer.
This is possible yet only works if both are being themselves, because if one partner isn’t, and cutting off pieces of themselves, the flow is disrupted, and turns to stagnation. The body’s freedom, and subsequent pleasure, gets limited.
I personally achieve this feeling, the sensation of allowing the body to speak for itself and leaving the mind behind, through dance and when I am in nature. At the highest level, I have reached it when I dance. There is no thought, or planned next movement, my body just moves as it pleases.
We do not need the other person to reach this level where our body takes the lead, where nature truly takes its course, and the next moment is unexpected, where we are truly being ourselves, where there is nothing but being and ecstasy.
However, in sex, you can reach a whole ‘nother level, as you are sharing that with another human being. It is about living through your body, rather than through the world — living through you, not the Matrix.
We can have that intimacy with ourselves and our bodies, so how about achieving it twofold? To share that with another person? What a gift it is to be yourself together, and in full acceptance of each other? The bodies just go crazy. Now that’s ecstatic and powerful — it’s an amplification! Is it not something profoundly beautiful?
How many people want to let go of control of the mind? Because that is actually when we truly have control, that is when we finally achieve control. We give our body control, not the outside world; it is truly us, not the illusion of control by the mind.
Maybe that is why people are so attracted to sex, because it is a means of allowing the body to finally speak and be. We do not feel we can do it on our own, so we need the other, yet we go about it as our ‘not self’. We do not fully have sex as ourselves, only partly so.
I always have had this intimacy with myself, just as many others do. I love being with myself more than anyone, I laugh, I have a great time, I am complete. What if we could share that with another? Now that is a fun challenge! Not using the other, not needing the other, but choosing to be, and share our self — whether it is for just a few moments, a few years, or a lifetime.
Sex is one way of being our self and giving our body expression, allowing it to speak and breathe, but most times we get lost in the other, we interact with and condition each other.
When we have inadequacies, insecurities and fears, we block ourselves from being and receiving. We are not taught this mutual interaction as a possibility; we go in with a fixed mindset, not open or receptive as to what it could be. What if we could have sex without all this, authentically as us, to truly feel it and be it?
Being you is easy, but going beyond yourself with another being can be magical! An opening into a new realm, a merging.
In that environment, you allow the other to be as well, with no judgment, feel nurtured by each other, in full allowance of both self and the other, encourage the other regardless of the circumstances, and then bring that into the sex. You are transported to another place, another time, where everything is possible, and that is only the beginning — the beginning of a beautiful magical journey to explore each other.
Gaia (Γαία) Giakalli is a therapist, writer, photographer, dancer, cultural anthropologist and nature-dweller. She loves creativity, and nature, especially trees. Her passion is connecting people with nature, in which she has spent most of her life in solitude, contemplating and enjoying its wisdom, and empowering people to be their authentic selves, reconnecting them to their true essence and calling in life. You can connect with her on The Tree Mouseion of Creativity, Gaia Giakalli World Productions, Facebook, Twitter or her blog.